[Business Opportunity] The King Is Dead...

[crushed_pearls]

Who: Anyone!

What: A mysterious new building has appeared

When: Early June

Where: Near the tram station

Warning(s): None


OOC Note: One, only one, character may claim ownership of what is to be revealed to you below. Whomsoever does will become an Entrepreneur, complete with the usual benefits such as immediate upgrade to Job Level 3, though there are, of course, some conditions. This opportunity has already been bought and paid for by the conspirators, and now made available to you! Read on…

It happens overnight. An unoccupied home near the tram station, unremarkable but for its sorrow, is replaced by a low and rectangular building with false crenellations, flying an odd flag that flutters in the near-Summer breeze. It is sturdy, made of wood and stone - how was it built so quickly? - and has a large dining area visible through wide windows. A counter, bedecked with gleaming cash registers, separates the kitchen from the public, concealing the activities within, though one might get a look at the new cooking equipment through two smaller sliding windows that can be approached from the outside, but lock from within.

Come inside. Explore. See the menu boards above the counters, with names like Whopper and Bacon King next to hand-painted pictures of burgers and fries, chicken sandwiches, even sandwiches that use fried fish. The current prices are set under the names with little hand-carved wooden tiles, varnished and shiny; more are in a case on the counter, permitting whomsoever will come to own this place to change their prices. If you dare to explore the kitchen, you will find it fully stocked, with the iceboxes packed with what needs to be frozen, a bread oven for the making of daily bread, prep tools and a setup for frying in oil. In pride of place is a massive grill, ready to toast buns, meat, and perhaps even vegetables, but almost as obvious is a thick and crudely-bound portfolio of recipes that explains, in easy detail, the creation of buns, fries, onion rings, the recipes for everything shown or described on the menu, and offers suggestions for the only missing detail (drinks) in accepting language that frankly, without judgement, explains the advantages and drawbacks of decisions such as including or excluding alcohol, the challenges of potentially carbonating various juices, and emphasizes in no small terms that supplying coffee or tea may make a killing selling to the miners on their ways in, and out, of work.

There is also a set of regalia, complete with a mask of gilt bronze and inbuilt crown of gold, far more valuable in times past than it is now in these desperate days when an ounce of gold will buy you nothing but regret. It rests on a stand behind the counter, and before it, upon the counter, are two things: a sign in red that reads READ, YE WHO ENTER HERE, and a letter. The letter reads thusly:

Hail, good people of Pumpkin Hollow, and be welcomed to the sovereign domain of the Burger King. Know that these hallowed halls are sacred in a desolate and unwholesome land known as America, and welcomed all - prince and pauper, killer and saint, fool, genius, and philanthropist - to partake of their affordable and speedy hospitality. Glory to the Burger King, and glory to His ironclad decree: Have It Your Way.

Yet, the sovereign crown of this dominion lacks one with the fortitude and graciousness to bear it. Read closely, for there is great opportunity and great obligation before you. Whomsoever takes up the regalia and visage of the Burger King shall gain his power and majesty, including power over this place, the proceeds thereof, and the land upon which it is built which is spacious enough to include a garden or be otherwise used for the benefit of this most holy realm. To retain these blessings, however, one must prove oneself worthy; the Burger Kingdom must be opened to the public to do business, serving breakfast, lunch, and dinner, for a period of not less than seven days, during which they who desire the power of the Burger King must wear the regalia. You will be watched; you will be judged. Should you prove worthy, you will be granted the deeds to this realm, in accordance with the following conditions:

FIRST - None may bear the mantle of the Burger King unless they might also bear the love of the Mothers, for the building of this sanctum is dedicated to Serranai as an act of holy creation and abundance. In commerce too are we connected, and that connection is sacred.

SECOND - The power of the Burger King is tied to His mantle and regalia, which must be worn no less than twice a week when He holds His court. The first court held each week is for the benefit of His employees, who may air their ideas and grievances with no fear of reprisal; the second shall be held for the benefit of the community, who may do the same. A king with no followers is merely a madman.

THIRD - The Whopper, and French Fries, must always be available for purchase during business hours. These menu items may never be replaced.

FOURTH - No guest who keeps to the laws of hospitality shall be turned away.

FIFTH - Justice and fair wages for the employees of the Burger King.

Failure to comply with these conditions shall be met with a vengeance as inevitable as it is incomprehensible, along with the stripping of the deeds and the appointment of a new vessel for the Burger King, praise His flame-broiled burgers in their sublime glory.

Heavy is the head that wears the Burger Crown. We look forward to your reign.

No staff attend the fully stocked building. If there are any unseen watchers, it must be someone among those who have come to investigate this place. It is ready to be claimed.

Will this be your new kingdom?

Comments

Top-Levels

[crushed_pearls]

Post your top-levels about this strange new kingdom here!

[blindwatchersees]

Oh, what a marvelous place!

A place of hope, from a land of troubles! A place of choice, in the midst of the humdrum day-to-day! He has so many questions, and he’s not sure who to ask, until he sees the decree.

So… this realm needs a Burger King, a Prince-King of Grillworks, a Lord of the Freshly-Fried, a Monarch of Made-to-Order. It’s no simple task, he knows, to fill the shoes of a god and subsequently bring such a being to life, but he wholeheartedly believes that, yes, this realm needs a Burger King, and he will do his utmost to ensure that the god-king is successfully mantled.

He looks through the recipe books, the guides, the rules, committing them to heart with surprising focus. Whoever it is that is chosen for this apotheosis, Sheogorath wants to be quite certain that he can test them and guide them to success.

[maximumcake]

Max comes across the building a short while later. With his mouth still agape, he pushes through the front door to stare around at the inside in bewilderment. Only then does he notice he isn't alone.

"When did this get here...?"

Even as the question falls from his mouth his eyes are drifting to the grill. He's very much looking at it like a hollowed altar, and he is ready to hail the hamburger king.

[blindwatchersees]

"Beautiful, isn't it? One rarely gets to see a divine realm in its process of formation."

[maximumcake]

"D-divine realm...?" Max blinks hard and looks around like he's coming back out of a dream. "I don't know if I'd go that far but... that is a really nice grill, though."

[blindwatchersees]

"Have you read the decree? That's exactly what this place is. A divine grillworks, in search of an identity, a face, a voice. This place has the potential to be a bastion of burgers, the very idea of Burger King made manifest! But an exists demands an existence. It's very deep, very fundamental form of magic."

[maximumcake]

"It's... a fast food restaurant?" Which, no shade, he loves a good greasy whopper too but calling it a divine bastion of burgers might be going a bit far.

"This is a little over my head. I'm not that good at magic."

[blindwatchersees]

"Oh, not to worry, it's high enough magic that it's likely to wrap right back around and go under your head. Think of it this way- this place isn't just a Burger King, but essentially the Burger King. This is his divine body-to-be, and the impact of this will spread across the multiverse, shaping the very notion of the Birger King, but also affirming it as it is. It will be a mirror into which everyone who engages with the idea of the Burger King will gaze and see their relationship to Having It Their Way stare back at them. But without an existence to call its own, the Burger King must first be brought into his metaphysical own."

The author wants to be very, very clear that this is all complete and utter nonsense and Sheo is just talking out of his ass... probably.

[xiaoxiuya]

"Oh my god..."

Shen Qingqiu pushes open the door with eagerness, looking around with bright, excited eyes. Although dressed in long, exotic robes, his accent is clipped and modern as he leans over the counter, peering into the back. "Is anyone working back there?" he calls.

He grins sheepishly at whoever might be observing him, explaining, "It's been six years since I had a burger, and that's seven years too long."

[somebodychildofanyone]

"Wait, you know what the hell a burger is? 'Cause uh. I could use. Some instruction there, I've got no fuckin' clue."

Local necromancer is so god damn confused.

[xiaoxiuya]

"Oh wow, you poor deprived child." That is a joke, he can clearly see that this person is a full-grown elf chick (and it's awesome).

"Shen Qingqiu, at your service," he introduces himself with a humble little bow. "A burger is -- well, I should mention that it was an import in my home country, it was invented in America as the sign says and I'm from a country on the other side of the world called China -- but it's essentially a slab of ground beef, cooked on an open grill, and then sandwiched between two slices of very thick bread or the two halves of a bun. You can also add lettuce, sliced cheese, bacon and various sauces according to your personal taste. I think in some countries they also put fried eggs on it? It's very versatile, and that's not even getting into the side dishes people might have with it!"

Oh god, is there an oil fryer back there? Do they have french fries???

[somebodychildofanyone]

"Buddy I'm nearly a hundred years old, call me child again." She flashes a grin to show she only half-means the threat, but Shen here has, you see, caught her where every soldier and workman is always caught: her stomach, which audibly rumbles at the description. She tips an imaginary hat. "River la Croix, blacksmith, necromancer, diabolist. You'll excuse me for not bowing back, the family has a whole deal there. Big fan of these burgers huh?"

[xiaoxiuya]

"Oh, my apologies! The lady is so youthful, I mistake her for a little sapling." Shen Qingqiu hides a laugh behind his hand; what from someone else might sound like a come-on is just silly teasing, coming from him. "But yes, I suppose I am. They were just fast food back home, something to eat while you were out shopping or in a hurry to get somewhere else, but it's been so long..." He shrugs a little. "I guess it feels like a little piece of home, maybe? People just don't make anything like them, in the place where I've been living."

[somebodychildofanyone]

"Further from home than the rest of us, huh?" It's a gentle prompting, more of an offer really, accented just slightly by a curious twitch of River's ears.

[maximumcake]

Max pops his head into the window. "Oh, um. Hi. I am, kind of." He's not working so much as playing.

"Six years?!" Oh, this will not do. Max's expression sets into a line of determination. "Let's get you a whopper going stat!"

And he's gone from the window again. A moment later comes the sound of the grill firing.

"You can come back here, by the way!" Max calls out.

[xiaoxiuya]

"Really??" Oh wow, he's never been on the other side of the counter before! SQQ immediately stuffs the trailing ends of his sleeves into his belt, so they won't get snagged on anything or fall into the fryer. Normally he'd trust his innate cultivator's grace to keep his clothes safe, but an occasion like this is much too important to leave up to chance!

"Thank you so much!" he calls to Max as he carefully lets himself into the kitchen. "Wow..." He openly goggles at the countertops, the range, the fryers. He's seen glorious waterfalls, epic mountain vistas, beautiful women worthy of the tenderest poetry, but nothing has impressed Shen Qingqiu as much as this vaguely Victorian facsimile of a Burger King. "This is so cool," he says breathlessly. "But where did it all come from? This wasn't here yesterday, I don't think!"

[maximumcake]

Max is secretly relieved he doesn't have to tell the man to mind his sleeves, because that really might be an accident waiting to happen.

"It wasn't," he confirms. "I'd have seen it for sure. Someone or something built an entire restaurant overnight." Whoever that someone is has alarmingly similar handwriting to his former master, Lord Erik Osborne but Max can't see how Erik would want to have anything to do with... this.

"Apparently, it's up for grabs, too. I gotta say, I'm tempted. Do you know much about cooking?"

[xiaoxiuya]

"I know what tastes good," Shen Qingqiu says, hiding a chuckle in the palm of his hand. "But when it comes to making food other people would actually want to eat, I'm afraid I'm quite useless. Unless you'd like a hand taking the trash out or carrying heavy sacks? That much I can certainly do."

[maximumcake]

"Knowing what tastes good makes you the perfect taste tester for me," Max says with a grin.

"We'll figure out the chores later. For now, be my guest. What do you like on your Whopper?"

[skeletonkeay]

Gerry stares up at the building in disbelief, squinting. He looks around, making sure he's still in a Victorian gothic steampunk fantasy world, then back at the Burger King. Yep. He's still here. And that's still a Burger King.

"What American asshole..." His muttered question goes unresolved.

[maximumcake]

"Don't look at me," Max says, walking up behind with his hands held in surrender. "It just showed up like this."

[skeletonkeay]

"Maybe so. But you let it happen." Gerry's tone is dry, but the wry grin on his face indicates he's just giving Max a hard time. "God, I haven't been to a Burger King in fucking years. Is it... is it open?"

[maximumcake]

"No, no, no," he jokes back, "I'm from Missouri, you can't blame this one on me. Jacksonville, Florida did this one before I was even born." Max would know these kinds of facts about a fast food restaurant, wouldn't he?

"It's um... looking for new leadership, apparently. But, they did leave the doors unlocked and the fridges are all stocked. They even wrote down all the recipes. I could definitely make us both something in there. But I'm not wearing that mask..."

[skeletonkeay]

Gerry briefly pulls a strange expression that is some combination of confusion, horror, and intrigue, his brows raising and one corner of his mouth pulling back into a cartoonish frown before snapping back. He casts a sidelong look at Max. "I mean. Are there... consequences for just going in there and making a burger while it's not properly open?"

[maximumcake]

Honestly, that expression is about how Max feels about the mask too so he can't say he blames Gerry.

"I don't think so? No one has really yelled at me about it or anything. I know how to use the grill."