[Business Opportunity] The King Is Dead...

[crushed_pearls]

Who: Anyone!

What: A mysterious new building has appeared

When: Early June

Where: Near the tram station

Warning(s): None


OOC Note: One, only one, character may claim ownership of what is to be revealed to you below. Whomsoever does will become an Entrepreneur, complete with the usual benefits such as immediate upgrade to Job Level 3, though there are, of course, some conditions. This opportunity has already been bought and paid for by the conspirators, and now made available to you! Read on…

It happens overnight. An unoccupied home near the tram station, unremarkable but for its sorrow, is replaced by a low and rectangular building with false crenellations, flying an odd flag that flutters in the near-Summer breeze. It is sturdy, made of wood and stone - how was it built so quickly? - and has a large dining area visible through wide windows. A counter, bedecked with gleaming cash registers, separates the kitchen from the public, concealing the activities within, though one might get a look at the new cooking equipment through two smaller sliding windows that can be approached from the outside, but lock from within.

Come inside. Explore. See the menu boards above the counters, with names like Whopper and Bacon King next to hand-painted pictures of burgers and fries, chicken sandwiches, even sandwiches that use fried fish. The current prices are set under the names with little hand-carved wooden tiles, varnished and shiny; more are in a case on the counter, permitting whomsoever will come to own this place to change their prices. If you dare to explore the kitchen, you will find it fully stocked, with the iceboxes packed with what needs to be frozen, a bread oven for the making of daily bread, prep tools and a setup for frying in oil. In pride of place is a massive grill, ready to toast buns, meat, and perhaps even vegetables, but almost as obvious is a thick and crudely-bound portfolio of recipes that explains, in easy detail, the creation of buns, fries, onion rings, the recipes for everything shown or described on the menu, and offers suggestions for the only missing detail (drinks) in accepting language that frankly, without judgement, explains the advantages and drawbacks of decisions such as including or excluding alcohol, the challenges of potentially carbonating various juices, and emphasizes in no small terms that supplying coffee or tea may make a killing selling to the miners on their ways in, and out, of work.

There is also a set of regalia, complete with a mask of gilt bronze and inbuilt crown of gold, far more valuable in times past than it is now in these desperate days when an ounce of gold will buy you nothing but regret. It rests on a stand behind the counter, and before it, upon the counter, are two things: a sign in red that reads READ, YE WHO ENTER HERE, and a letter. The letter reads thusly:

Hail, good people of Pumpkin Hollow, and be welcomed to the sovereign domain of the Burger King. Know that these hallowed halls are sacred in a desolate and unwholesome land known as America, and welcomed all - prince and pauper, killer and saint, fool, genius, and philanthropist - to partake of their affordable and speedy hospitality. Glory to the Burger King, and glory to His ironclad decree: Have It Your Way.

Yet, the sovereign crown of this dominion lacks one with the fortitude and graciousness to bear it. Read closely, for there is great opportunity and great obligation before you. Whomsoever takes up the regalia and visage of the Burger King shall gain his power and majesty, including power over this place, the proceeds thereof, and the land upon which it is built which is spacious enough to include a garden or be otherwise used for the benefit of this most holy realm. To retain these blessings, however, one must prove oneself worthy; the Burger Kingdom must be opened to the public to do business, serving breakfast, lunch, and dinner, for a period of not less than seven days, during which they who desire the power of the Burger King must wear the regalia. You will be watched; you will be judged. Should you prove worthy, you will be granted the deeds to this realm, in accordance with the following conditions:

FIRST - None may bear the mantle of the Burger King unless they might also bear the love of the Mothers, for the building of this sanctum is dedicated to Serranai as an act of holy creation and abundance. In commerce too are we connected, and that connection is sacred.

SECOND - The power of the Burger King is tied to His mantle and regalia, which must be worn no less than twice a week when He holds His court. The first court held each week is for the benefit of His employees, who may air their ideas and grievances with no fear of reprisal; the second shall be held for the benefit of the community, who may do the same. A king with no followers is merely a madman.

THIRD - The Whopper, and French Fries, must always be available for purchase during business hours. These menu items may never be replaced.

FOURTH - No guest who keeps to the laws of hospitality shall be turned away.

FIFTH - Justice and fair wages for the employees of the Burger King.

Failure to comply with these conditions shall be met with a vengeance as inevitable as it is incomprehensible, along with the stripping of the deeds and the appointment of a new vessel for the Burger King, praise His flame-broiled burgers in their sublime glory.

Heavy is the head that wears the Burger Crown. We look forward to your reign.

No staff attend the fully stocked building. If there are any unseen watchers, it must be someone among those who have come to investigate this place. It is ready to be claimed.

Will this be your new kingdom?

Comments

[xiaoxiuya]

"Oh my god..."

Shen Qingqiu pushes open the door with eagerness, looking around with bright, excited eyes. Although dressed in long, exotic robes, his accent is clipped and modern as he leans over the counter, peering into the back. "Is anyone working back there?" he calls.

He grins sheepishly at whoever might be observing him, explaining, "It's been six years since I had a burger, and that's seven years too long."

[somebodychildofanyone]

"Wait, you know what the hell a burger is? 'Cause uh. I could use. Some instruction there, I've got no fuckin' clue."

Local necromancer is so god damn confused.

[xiaoxiuya]

"Oh wow, you poor deprived child." That is a joke, he can clearly see that this person is a full-grown elf chick (and it's awesome).

"Shen Qingqiu, at your service," he introduces himself with a humble little bow. "A burger is -- well, I should mention that it was an import in my home country, it was invented in America as the sign says and I'm from a country on the other side of the world called China -- but it's essentially a slab of ground beef, cooked on an open grill, and then sandwiched between two slices of very thick bread or the two halves of a bun. You can also add lettuce, sliced cheese, bacon and various sauces according to your personal taste. I think in some countries they also put fried eggs on it? It's very versatile, and that's not even getting into the side dishes people might have with it!"

Oh god, is there an oil fryer back there? Do they have french fries???

[somebodychildofanyone]

"Buddy I'm nearly a hundred years old, call me child again." She flashes a grin to show she only half-means the threat, but Shen here has, you see, caught her where every soldier and workman is always caught: her stomach, which audibly rumbles at the description. She tips an imaginary hat. "River la Croix, blacksmith, necromancer, diabolist. You'll excuse me for not bowing back, the family has a whole deal there. Big fan of these burgers huh?"

[xiaoxiuya]

"Oh, my apologies! The lady is so youthful, I mistake her for a little sapling." Shen Qingqiu hides a laugh behind his hand; what from someone else might sound like a come-on is just silly teasing, coming from him. "But yes, I suppose I am. They were just fast food back home, something to eat while you were out shopping or in a hurry to get somewhere else, but it's been so long..." He shrugs a little. "I guess it feels like a little piece of home, maybe? People just don't make anything like them, in the place where I've been living."

[somebodychildofanyone]

"Further from home than the rest of us, huh?" It's a gentle prompting, more of an offer really, accented just slightly by a curious twitch of River's ears.

[xiaoxiuya]

"Ah, indeed." Shen Qingqiu smiles slightly, pulling a folded fan from his belt and beginning to absently play with the wooden guard. "This is my second transmigration, so...I guess you could say that, yes."

He's a real extra-dimensional traveler now, like the cast of Sliders. There's no telling how long he'll live in this world, or where he'll end up next.

[somebodychildofanyone]

"That's rough man," River murmurs. "...I'm sorry to hear it. 'm having a rough enough time being the normal distance from home and that's...with me fully intending to stay here. Like. I'm fuckin' moving in, y'know? And still a stranger in a strange land."

[xiaoxiuya]

"...It's not so bad," Shen Qingqiu says quietly, uncomfortable with her attempt to comfort him but not wanting to be so rude as to reject her outright. The fan opens with a quiet click as he says, "I had a good six years in the last world. Perhaps in this one, I'll last even longer. We might be neighbors for the foreseeable future."

He smiles at her slightly over the edge of the fan. "Do blacksmithing and necromancy have a great deal of overlap, where you're from? I've never heard someone introduce themselves with both professions before, much less -- what did you say it was? Diablerie?"

Making Up Details About River's Canon Solely For This Joke Like -

[somebodychildofanyone]

"Isn't diablerie the dwarf word for when someone eats shit that's clearly too spicy for them to prove they're tough only to immediately fuckin' keel over and end up looking like an idiot?" Beat. "Not important, but, no, the blacksmithing goes with the diabolism, the study and summoning of the Secondborn, whom men call demons. Back home they were the ones who gave fire and metalworking to mortals, y'see, and they won't come to a caller that can't honor that pact. The necromancy is an unrelated discipline but my teacher knew both, so here I am."

"And you?"

[xiaoxiuya]

Shen Qingqiu chuckles gamely behind his fan. It sounds like River comes from a world a little bit like Lord of the Rings, only taking itself slightly less seriously. He'll have to see if he can't convince her to tell him more.

"Oh, I'm a cultivator. We're sort of -- hm. You might think of us as a hybrid between wizards and martial artists. We hone our spiritual energy in order to prolong our lives and protect the common people. Unfortunately, this often brings us into conflict with demons. On the world I last lived, they were more interested in...well, eating humans than teaching them anything. There were a few exceptions, but I'm afraid racial tensions were unfortunately quite high." And he probably just fed more fuel to the fire, by stabbing Luo Binghe in the back...F in the chat for Ning Yingying and Liu Mingyan, hopefully they can temper him a little bit. God knows most of Binghe's human wives are more capricious than the demons.

BY TRADITION -

[somebodychildofanyone]

"...How the fuck am I the only person with decent demons here..."

[xiaoxiuya]

"Good luck?" Shen Qingqiu chuckles again, the fan closing with a quiet click. "Look on the bright side," he offers her, "It sounds like you learned some valuable skills, that now you can pass on to this world."

He cocks his slightly in polite curiosity. "Speaking of which, how does your version of necromancy work?"

[somebodychildofanyone]

River chuckles. "If I could accurately answer that question I could buy a castle, staff it with prostitutes, and have enough left over to buy a noble title to go with it. A lot of it is still pretty mysterious..." She sighs, and digs out a beautifully carved wooden pipe in the shape of a skull, which she checks over while she thinks. "But that's unhelpful. If I said to you, death isn't the absence of life, darkness isn't the absence of light, that make sense to you at all?"

[maximumcake]

Max pops his head into the window. "Oh, um. Hi. I am, kind of." He's not working so much as playing.

"Six years?!" Oh, this will not do. Max's expression sets into a line of determination. "Let's get you a whopper going stat!"

And he's gone from the window again. A moment later comes the sound of the grill firing.

"You can come back here, by the way!" Max calls out.

[xiaoxiuya]

"Really??" Oh wow, he's never been on the other side of the counter before! SQQ immediately stuffs the trailing ends of his sleeves into his belt, so they won't get snagged on anything or fall into the fryer. Normally he'd trust his innate cultivator's grace to keep his clothes safe, but an occasion like this is much too important to leave up to chance!

"Thank you so much!" he calls to Max as he carefully lets himself into the kitchen. "Wow..." He openly goggles at the countertops, the range, the fryers. He's seen glorious waterfalls, epic mountain vistas, beautiful women worthy of the tenderest poetry, but nothing has impressed Shen Qingqiu as much as this vaguely Victorian facsimile of a Burger King. "This is so cool," he says breathlessly. "But where did it all come from? This wasn't here yesterday, I don't think!"

[maximumcake]

Max is secretly relieved he doesn't have to tell the man to mind his sleeves, because that really might be an accident waiting to happen.

"It wasn't," he confirms. "I'd have seen it for sure. Someone or something built an entire restaurant overnight." Whoever that someone is has alarmingly similar handwriting to his former master, Lord Erik Osborne but Max can't see how Erik would want to have anything to do with... this.

"Apparently, it's up for grabs, too. I gotta say, I'm tempted. Do you know much about cooking?"

[xiaoxiuya]

"I know what tastes good," Shen Qingqiu says, hiding a chuckle in the palm of his hand. "But when it comes to making food other people would actually want to eat, I'm afraid I'm quite useless. Unless you'd like a hand taking the trash out or carrying heavy sacks? That much I can certainly do."

[maximumcake]

"Knowing what tastes good makes you the perfect taste tester for me," Max says with a grin.

"We'll figure out the chores later. For now, be my guest. What do you like on your Whopper?"

[xiaoxiuya]

Shen Qingqiu laughs out loud, with open delight.

"You're too kind, much too kind!" he exclaims. "Just the basics will do for me, I've gone without much too long to be picky. Although..." He glances over at a heavy door which might lead into a cellar or cold room. "This is a port town, after all. I bet the locals would love a good surf and turf burger, like we had once when my class visited Hong Kong..."

[maximumcake]

"Surf and turf...?" Max is thinking back in time. Did he ever see something like that at home?

"I've never heard of a Burger King with that on the menu before. But I've never been to Hong Kong, either. The closest I got was Tokyo, Japan. I think the McDonalds there had a shrimp patty but I was always too wary to try it."

[xiaoxiuya]

"Oh, you don't turn the shrimp into a patty!" Shen Qingqiu wrinkles his nose in playful disgust. "You remove the shell, fry them on the grill, and then layer them over the burger. It adds a delicious little umami crunch to the experience."

[maximumcake]

"Oh! Whew!" he says, so incredibly relieved. That's much more appetizing than what Max was picturing.

"If we have shrimp in the supplies then, sure, I can do that. Ooh, you know what? I bet Whopper sauce would taste really good as a shrimp dipping sauce."

[xiaoxiuya]

"You are so right!" Shen Qingqiu rolls his sleeves up past his elbows on his way to the freezer, intent now on seeing what they've got on offer. "Let's check out the storerooms, who knows what they have hidden away back here."

[maximumcake]

"Okay, I'll join you back there in just one sec'," Max calls to him, while he sets to work adding oil to the griddle to make sure it's good and seasoned. "Just wash your hands before you touch the food, okay?"