[Business Opportunity] The King Is Dead...

[crushed_pearls]

Who: Anyone!

What: A mysterious new building has appeared

When: Early June

Where: Near the tram station

Warning(s): None


OOC Note: One, only one, character may claim ownership of what is to be revealed to you below. Whomsoever does will become an Entrepreneur, complete with the usual benefits such as immediate upgrade to Job Level 3, though there are, of course, some conditions. This opportunity has already been bought and paid for by the conspirators, and now made available to you! Read on…

It happens overnight. An unoccupied home near the tram station, unremarkable but for its sorrow, is replaced by a low and rectangular building with false crenellations, flying an odd flag that flutters in the near-Summer breeze. It is sturdy, made of wood and stone - how was it built so quickly? - and has a large dining area visible through wide windows. A counter, bedecked with gleaming cash registers, separates the kitchen from the public, concealing the activities within, though one might get a look at the new cooking equipment through two smaller sliding windows that can be approached from the outside, but lock from within.

Come inside. Explore. See the menu boards above the counters, with names like Whopper and Bacon King next to hand-painted pictures of burgers and fries, chicken sandwiches, even sandwiches that use fried fish. The current prices are set under the names with little hand-carved wooden tiles, varnished and shiny; more are in a case on the counter, permitting whomsoever will come to own this place to change their prices. If you dare to explore the kitchen, you will find it fully stocked, with the iceboxes packed with what needs to be frozen, a bread oven for the making of daily bread, prep tools and a setup for frying in oil. In pride of place is a massive grill, ready to toast buns, meat, and perhaps even vegetables, but almost as obvious is a thick and crudely-bound portfolio of recipes that explains, in easy detail, the creation of buns, fries, onion rings, the recipes for everything shown or described on the menu, and offers suggestions for the only missing detail (drinks) in accepting language that frankly, without judgement, explains the advantages and drawbacks of decisions such as including or excluding alcohol, the challenges of potentially carbonating various juices, and emphasizes in no small terms that supplying coffee or tea may make a killing selling to the miners on their ways in, and out, of work.

There is also a set of regalia, complete with a mask of gilt bronze and inbuilt crown of gold, far more valuable in times past than it is now in these desperate days when an ounce of gold will buy you nothing but regret. It rests on a stand behind the counter, and before it, upon the counter, are two things: a sign in red that reads READ, YE WHO ENTER HERE, and a letter. The letter reads thusly:

Hail, good people of Pumpkin Hollow, and be welcomed to the sovereign domain of the Burger King. Know that these hallowed halls are sacred in a desolate and unwholesome land known as America, and welcomed all - prince and pauper, killer and saint, fool, genius, and philanthropist - to partake of their affordable and speedy hospitality. Glory to the Burger King, and glory to His ironclad decree: Have It Your Way.

Yet, the sovereign crown of this dominion lacks one with the fortitude and graciousness to bear it. Read closely, for there is great opportunity and great obligation before you. Whomsoever takes up the regalia and visage of the Burger King shall gain his power and majesty, including power over this place, the proceeds thereof, and the land upon which it is built which is spacious enough to include a garden or be otherwise used for the benefit of this most holy realm. To retain these blessings, however, one must prove oneself worthy; the Burger Kingdom must be opened to the public to do business, serving breakfast, lunch, and dinner, for a period of not less than seven days, during which they who desire the power of the Burger King must wear the regalia. You will be watched; you will be judged. Should you prove worthy, you will be granted the deeds to this realm, in accordance with the following conditions:

FIRST - None may bear the mantle of the Burger King unless they might also bear the love of the Mothers, for the building of this sanctum is dedicated to Serranai as an act of holy creation and abundance. In commerce too are we connected, and that connection is sacred.

SECOND - The power of the Burger King is tied to His mantle and regalia, which must be worn no less than twice a week when He holds His court. The first court held each week is for the benefit of His employees, who may air their ideas and grievances with no fear of reprisal; the second shall be held for the benefit of the community, who may do the same. A king with no followers is merely a madman.

THIRD - The Whopper, and French Fries, must always be available for purchase during business hours. These menu items may never be replaced.

FOURTH - No guest who keeps to the laws of hospitality shall be turned away.

FIFTH - Justice and fair wages for the employees of the Burger King.

Failure to comply with these conditions shall be met with a vengeance as inevitable as it is incomprehensible, along with the stripping of the deeds and the appointment of a new vessel for the Burger King, praise His flame-broiled burgers in their sublime glory.

Heavy is the head that wears the Burger Crown. We look forward to your reign.

No staff attend the fully stocked building. If there are any unseen watchers, it must be someone among those who have come to investigate this place. It is ready to be claimed.

Will this be your new kingdom?

Comments

in which my white ass pretends to understand the dao

[xiaoxiuya]

"Of course." Shen Qingqiu nods easily. "Life and death, light and dark, heat and moisture...these are all opposing forces, yet they shape and define each other in their opposition. How could anything be born, if death and decay didn't clear the way for new life?"

[somebodychildofanyone]

She smiles at that, an earnest and wistful smile tinged with nostalgia. "You sound a bit like the holy books of Red Troth, Father of Stride, and I mean that as a compliment. And it also means you get the short version, 'cause you already get it; necromancy is the magic of manipulating death, darkness, and decay. Nothing more, nothing less."

[xiaoxiuya]

"Is that a god?" Shen Qingqiu asks, now deeply absorbed in the conversation. "What are his tenets? Oh, forgive me if I'm prying too far," he says ruefully. "I've simply always been fascinated by other worlds and their cultures. So if necromancy is in essence death and decay magic, what do you use it for? I must admit that such magics have a poor reputation in the worlds I've known -- but I certainly don't intend to project that on you." Not without just cause!

[somebodychildofanyone]

"You're a real curious kinda guy, ain't'cha?" River pulls up one of the chairs and then sits on the back of it, with her feet planted on the seat where the ass goes; she flashes Shen a winning smile. "Red Troth, Father of Strife, Author of War, god of the defender and the conqueror, whose truth is red in tooth and claw. One of the five gods of creation, who made my world and all its peoples. Tenets isn't...the right word, I don't think." She frowns, but it's a thoughtful frown. "...Like, the gods are basically our fuckin' relatives, right, they don't have tenets, they have wisdom. Which some people take a lot more seriously than other people, and generally end up killing the mood at parties and such as a result."

[xiaoxiuya]

Curious, him? "Always," Shen Qingqiu responds, a twinkle in his eye as he hangs on River's every word. "Fascinating," he says softly, when her explanation has reached its end. "It sounds as though religion plays a slightly different role in your world than it did in mine -- or at least, your people enjoy a closer relationship with their gods."

He grimaces playfully. "There are many different creation stories told on my world, but hearing someone refer so casually to one of their creators as a relative really is something else."

By tradition I declare: damn OCs and their one-liners

[somebodychildofanyone]

"Can't see why it would be. Unless you spoke yourself into existence ex nihlo, you've got one or more creators who are your relatives, don't ya?"

[xiaoxiuya]

"Actually, there's no objective evidence that the world of my birth was created by gods at all," Shen Qingqiu says demurely. "The going theory is that stardust coalesced into a new sun and a collection of planets over billions of years, and that over time random chemical interactions gradually increased in complexity until they somehow transformed into basic single-celled lifeforms. Naturally there was no one around to see this happening -- or if there were, they've been remarkably hush-hush about it."

[somebodychildofanyone]

River laughs, light and cheery. "I meant your parents, my guy. Presumably you have or had parents, yeah? Honestly like...you can drive yourself insane with trying to figure out the origins of everything. Where did the gods come from? Where did the void they were birthed into come from? Shit, if I went back home and could prove I'd met other gods from other worlds I could cash out and retire a rich woman and that still doesn't answer anything meaningful, y'know?"

[xiaoxiuya]

"Oh!" Shen Qingqiu laughs behind his fan. "Well, yes. Of course I had parents." He lowers the fan so he can grin at River properly, agreeing, "It might be impossible to answer all of those questions, but I still can't help wondering. The beginning is the most important part of a story, after all. Without, how can you really understand everything else that's going on?"

[somebodychildofanyone]

What a thing to hear, standing in the middle of this mysterious new business. River looks around, frowning a thoughtful little frown. "...Not sure I agree," she says at last. "If only because we have to live in a world where we'll never know beginnings. I could explain like, my childhood, right, but would you understand it, really understand it the way you understand your own? Can you even understand your own, when you were a different, younger person then who also lived in a world with no beginnings?"

[xiaoxiuya]

"Hm!" Shen Qingqiu fans himself thoughtfully for a moment. "I suppose by that logic, we can't really understand anything. But that can't be true, or how would we function day to day?" He grins at her over his fan. "Perhaps a compromise? Knowing the beginning of things isn't necessary to understanding, but it might improve the overall picture. And it certainly would be interesting."