I Do Not Fear The Man Who Has Practiced Ten Thousand Kicks [Early March Open]

[restingslasherface]

Who: "Slasher Face" Jean, Hungry, Agent Charlie, and YOU
What: Jean has adopted a chicken & is preparing for the expedition
When: Early March before the expedition
Where: Around(tm)
Warnings: Discussion of animal death, potential Jean Bullshit depending on how conversations go
Notes: CHICKEN



Jean has adopted a chick from Eddie, a little fluffy girl they've taken to calling Charlie (well, "Agent Charlie", referring to her by her job title), and boy is this nugget all fucking in. In the time leading up to the expedition one can find Jean taking Charlie and Hungry around town on errands. You might catch the three of them at the Library, checking books out and doing research on long hikes and wilderness survival, or at the Shops buying up food that will keep for supplies. Down at the Seaweed Farm, Jean smokes and salts fish so it will keep well on the trip and packs small bags of rice for meals. Expect them to visit the Clinics and/or Sally for advice on disinfectants and over-the-counter preventatives, and to purchase them.

But the real fun is on the Festival Green and at Oak and Iron. Jean has made a small cloth rat in which they have concealed bits of fish, and is training Agent Charlie to attack it, starting her off nice and young. The first attempt goes poorly, her lil' beak just is not the equal of the spare burlap, but a second attempt with thinner cloth goes a lot better. When Agent Charlie isn't hard at work learning the weaknesses of her enemies through practice, Jean can be found taking breaks for coffee at the inn, where they have books on pest control, rat life cycles, and the care of chickens.

They are reading the books aloud.

To the chicken, and to Hungry, who often comments with an interested "Ghastly!".

Comments

Oak and Iron

[pineapplesalmon]

Literally everyone knows why César visits the Oak & Iron: the coffee. Kidding, it's his girlfriend and people in general. But also the coffee.

He scans the room to see who's around, looking for new faces. Now that there's two League of Villains members, he's taken to keeping an eye out for new faces. César's an unknown to any of those so-called 'heroes' that might cause trouble for Magne and Dabi, so he's an extra set of eyes they won't know about.

In his scan, he catches sight of Jean, their Pokémon, and their new chick. He grins widely and walks near Jean's little crew. César orders a coffee and waits until the end of a chapter to interrupt more politely.

"You've got an attentive audience there."

[restingslasherface]

Jean looks up from an illustration of a rat's nest (the text on the page is detailing the nesting habits of rats and what they're looking for in a home, in the typically flowery language of the Legally Not Victorian author) and favors César with a sunny grin. "I do indeed!" Jean agrees, which makes Agent Charlie look past Jean's shoulder directly at the scientist.

Bird staredown bird staredown BIRD STAREDOWN -

[pineapplesalmon]

César grins at the stare down and gently makes eye contact with the baby from the side to acknowledge the chick without challenging them. "I'm afraid I haven't met either of them."

[restingslasherface]

"The phantasmal one is Hungry, and this," Jean gestures lovingly at the chick, who even now is staring with Great Intent at the pictures on the page, "is Agent Charlie, the new ratter for Mipha's Grace once she's trained and grown some. Comrade Eddie was very generous in assisting me with her selection."

[pineapplesalmon]

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Hungry and Agent Charlie." César will use the chick's Proper Name. "A ratter, huh? You're embracing the idea of birds being tiny, angry dinosaurs, I see."

[restingslasherface]

"What's a dinosaur?"

[pineapplesalmon]

"A whole nearly extinct branch of life. The non-avian side of dinosaurs went extinct 66 million years ago on my Earth. All we have left now are giant fossils. I'd... have to honestly try to draw some of them for you or find an artist that knows what they possibly looked like. The only one we know the looks of is a tyrannosaurus rex that got thrown into the future. If I ever get to be a powerful enough druid, I could show you." César really wants to be a T-Rex at least once in his life.

[restingslasherface]

"Non-avian..."

Slowly, Jean scoops up Agent Charlie in both hands, and Holds Her Forth. "Dinosaur?"

[pineapplesalmon]

César smiles broadly. "If this world is anything like Earth... indeed, a descendant of the thunder lizards." A beat, and then César makes a slight face before he's back to smiling. "They weren't actually lizards, but that name sounds cool, so we'll let it pass."

Also, he's going to pull out a small pad of paper and start to doodle the silhouette of a T-Rex. This will take a moment. He's not the best at organic drawing.

[restingslasherface]

Jean leans in and makes sure that Charlie has a good view of her ancestor.

[pineapplesalmon]

"And for scale...." A little figure that's Jean's size. "That's you." He'll add an even smaller chick standing next to Jean, then gently removes the paper and hands it over. "There. There are dinosaurs that have four legs on the ground, but everyone loves a good T-Rex."

[restingslasherface]

Jean turns to the chick and says, gently but firmly: "Achieving that size will negatively impact your employability, Agent."

Agent Charlie peeps several times and begins attacking the paper.

[pineapplesalmon]

César watches this with growing amusement. "I think she's saying she'll try her best."

Festival Green

[actuallyawolf]

Ylva, passing by, glances at Jean and chicken, then double-takes, because what are they doing. She circles closer, and breaks into a broad grin.

"Are you having hunting lessons?" she asks, delighted.

[restingslasherface]

"Yes!" Jean answers, which makes Agent Charlie look up with little cheeping sounds. She turns her head in that chicken-y way, regarding Ylva...

And then goes right back to trying to get her fish from out of this cloth rat. Hungry, on the other hand, floats right on over and circles the druid. Jean traces the Ghastly with their gaze for a bit, making sure he's going to behave, but it seems like he will. Excellent! "Comrade Ylva, may I introduce Hungry," Jean gestures at the Pokemon, "and Agent Charlie, in training as a ratter for Mipha's Grace."

Local nugget has literally no idea that ships have a long tradition of ship's cats for this.

[actuallyawolf]

"Oh, wow. Do chickens do okay on ships?"

This is Ylva's sticking point. She knows perfectly well what a chicken can do. "She's still really little, though. I bet she'll be really good at it."

[restingslasherface]

"They've been transported by sea for thousands of years! To say nothing of the frequent shore leaves," Jean adds, Responsibly. "Agent Charlie will have two weeks at sea, then two weeks on land, though her work will begin much later. She needs to acclimate to the ship and get bigger and stronger before we can expect her to hunt!"

[actuallyawolf]

"Yeah, she's a bit small for even a mouse right now. Soon, I bet."

Ylva reaches out a finger to see if Charlie will accept a friendly beak rub. "How big is she gonna get?" She's seen chickens, but chickens are variable in size.

[restingslasherface]

Jean indicates some dimensions with their hands; later examination may prove that these are, in fact, the exact dimensions of Thread. "Or thereabouts! I have high hopes for her, she's been very brave and attentive. Oddly quiet, for a chick..."

They say pets are like their owners. Or is it vice-versa?

[actuallyawolf]

"Nothing wrong with quiet and clever. That's a good thing, for a hunter."

Ylva settles down onto the ground, cross legged. "I've seen people use cats for this, or small dogs, but not chickens. But chickens eat everything so I don't know why more people don't."

[restingslasherface]

"Comrade Eddie introduced me to chickens awhile ago. I hadn't actually seen one before coming here! I, hahaha, ha, actually hadn't met any natural animals. Or plants."

Hey Ylva quick question can you recognize a thousand mile stare? In a related story Charlie seems to be able to; she makes a series of quiet peeps and comes up to Jean, who scoops her up almost mechanically to softly cuddle the chick in their hands.

[actuallyawolf]

She almost falls into a thousand mile stare herself. Ylva, horrified, reaches to squeeze Jean's arm, because holy fuck.

"I know about places like that," she whispers. "They're awful. But you never knew anything else?"

[restingslasherface]

"I knew they existed somewhere, abstractly, but not anywhere near me, no." Jean frowns, and continues to pet Charlie gently. "...I was raised in a much bigger place than this, and my part of it was, hahaha, it was quite urban. Food was something that just...existed? Good, bad, I never thought a lot about where it came from, just where I could find it. Moving to another District would have been expensive and scary, so I just. Didn't. If you'd seen me in my first few weeks here it would have been very funny! I kept jumping at pinecones."

[actuallyawolf]

Ylva blinks, several times, as she tries to imagine this. This is one of the worst things she has ever heard.

"I don't," she tries, and shakes her head. "I mean, I've been in a big city. I know what that's like. But weren't there, you know, rats? Or stray cats, or crows, or... anything?"

[restingslasherface]

"I regret to assure you that any natural life that made the mistake of entering District L would have been instantly slain and devoured by the starving citizens, comrade."