I Do Not Fear The Man Who Has Practiced Ten Thousand Kicks [Early March Open]

[restingslasherface]

Who: "Slasher Face" Jean, Hungry, Agent Charlie, and YOU
What: Jean has adopted a chicken & is preparing for the expedition
When: Early March before the expedition
Where: Around(tm)
Warnings: Discussion of animal death, potential Jean Bullshit depending on how conversations go
Notes: CHICKEN



Jean has adopted a chick from Eddie, a little fluffy girl they've taken to calling Charlie (well, "Agent Charlie", referring to her by her job title), and boy is this nugget all fucking in. In the time leading up to the expedition one can find Jean taking Charlie and Hungry around town on errands. You might catch the three of them at the Library, checking books out and doing research on long hikes and wilderness survival, or at the Shops buying up food that will keep for supplies. Down at the Seaweed Farm, Jean smokes and salts fish so it will keep well on the trip and packs small bags of rice for meals. Expect them to visit the Clinics and/or Sally for advice on disinfectants and over-the-counter preventatives, and to purchase them.

But the real fun is on the Festival Green and at Oak and Iron. Jean has made a small cloth rat in which they have concealed bits of fish, and is training Agent Charlie to attack it, starting her off nice and young. The first attempt goes poorly, her lil' beak just is not the equal of the spare burlap, but a second attempt with thinner cloth goes a lot better. When Agent Charlie isn't hard at work learning the weaknesses of her enemies through practice, Jean can be found taking breaks for coffee at the inn, where they have books on pest control, rat life cycles, and the care of chickens.

They are reading the books aloud.

To the chicken, and to Hungry, who often comments with an interested "Ghastly!".

Comments

[restingslasherface]

"Do you keep your genitals a secret from your doctors too???"

[pineapplesalmon]

César tries to answer and just can't breathe. That's such a dumb but earnest question that he just... can't answer other than shaking his head. Watson knows!

[restingslasherface]

"Comrade why is this occult knowledge?"

[pineapplesalmon]

"It isn't!" César manages to choke out. "Watson knows!"

[restingslasherface]

"And now I know! Do I need to fear for my life? Will you hunt me down to keep your cock hidden from the world? Why is this a secret???"

Help them César they're so confused.

[not here]

[sistermagnetic]

She may have been listening and trying really hard to continue her normal duties around the dining room, but now she is doubled over and wheezing. Her coworkers are looking between her and Jean with concern.

[pineapplesalmon]

César just puts a hand on poor Jean's shoulder. Please, Jean. He can't breathe. Give him a moment. But he loves you??

[restingslasherface]

"...Comrade you appear to be asphyxiating." Jean's voice lowers. "...Is it a curse? Have your genitals been struck by an antimemetic protection that slays you if the secret is broken?"

Listen.

They come from a culture with very anonymous hookups.

[pineapplesalmon]

César manages to breathe. "No, you're just—I'm fine!"

[restingslasherface]

"Are you sure?" This man is blue, my guy you are blue daba dee daba die!

[pineapplesalmon]

César nods rapidly, and César tries to focus on breathing through his laughter.

[restingslasherface]

Jean cradles Agent Charlie close to their chest and waits to see if Comrade César dies of the antimemetic curse on his genitals.

Please don't die, Jean doesn't want to explain to Magne what happened.

[pineapplesalmon]

Thankfully, he doesn't die. Magne's watching, anyway. If he died over this, she'd know why.

He breathes, still chuckling. "Sorry, I couldn't breathe because it was too funny."

[restingslasherface]

"There are serious problems with curses on this island, comrade! I have been! Through! An emotional journey here! One of extreme worry!"

Charlie is rubbing at Jean to get the Pets that are her divine right.

[pineapplesalmon]

César squeezes his shoulder. "... There's no curse. I promise. Everything works fine down there. But god, please don't ask for details."

[restingslasherface]

"...Please be more clear next time," Jean asks in a sober voice. "I know I can't protect everyone. Especially not from esoteric attacks...but..."

"...That's what I'm supposed to try to do."

[pineapplesalmon]

César takes a breath to calm the rest of his chuckles. "I'm sorry. ... when people laugh that hard, they usually lose the ability to speak, and sometimes even their ability to stand. But they'll be fine when they calm down."

[restingslasherface]

"I've seen people die laughing before, comrade, I know how it works."

Come with Jean, and you will seeeeeee, a world of war crimes and indignatioooooonnnnnssssss~

[pineapplesalmon]

César stares at them for a very long moment as a lightbulb goes off in his head. "... okay, that's pretty unusual on my Earth. That would explain why you were so worried."

[restingslasherface]

"At some point in the near future I need to tell you some things about Lobotomy Corporation," Jean admits. "...Especially since some of our technology is here, actually. It might be relevant."

Possessed Zelda off her shits could do some serious damage with Solemn Lament. It's a risk Jean has long since decided to accept.

[pineapplesalmon]

César suddenly is very curious but quickly tempers it. Nope. Not the right time to start peppering with questions.

"Noted." A brief hesitation as a thought occurs to him. "... I've got technology in turn from home that I should mention. It's inactive, but... it's here."

Now that he's had that heart to heart with Magne (and Dabi overheard it), César feels safe enough to let more people know about his nanites.

Wrap?

[restingslasherface]

"Then we'll trade stories soon, comrade. I'm afraid I should get back to my lecture before Charlie gets too distracted."

Wrap!

[pineapplesalmon]

"Soon, then." César nods to the three of them, then starts to leave and waves. "I'll contact you when I have some spare time. Best of luck with the lecture!"