Max Maximum (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
maximumcake) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ph_logs2025-07-17 11:31 am
maximumcake) wrote in ph_logs2025-07-17 11:31 am
GRAND OPENING - Le Cafe' Citrioulles
Who: Max Maximum & you!
What: New Le Cafe' Citrioulles Finally Open! Come get your coffee house AUs
When: July-Aug (or longer)
Where: Attached to the Bakery in the middle of town!
Warning crab boiling, one prompt includes NSFW discussions, please label and warn clearly.
[OOC Note: I'm still putting together an official info post about what the cafe looks like/offers, etc. For now picture a quaint French corner cafe attached to the bakery building with through traffic, and a nice patio space that's fenced in and covered. The color theming is all bright royal blue with gold and pumpkin orange trim.]
Summer Specials!
In honor of Max winning Pickle King this year, he has created some limited time specials. Such offerings include salted dill macarons with cream cheese filling, grilled cheese with extra pickles, fried pickles on a stick with mustard, and, most horrifying of all, dill pickle cheesecake(Video). One need not wonder why these items are on limited run.
For those who may be looking for a more normal kind of special, Max is also taking advantage of that huge watermelon in the square to infuse many of his summer specials with watermelon flavors, too. He's offering watermelon smoothies or juicers, watermelon dipped in dark chocolate on a stick, sides of the fruit with yogurt and honey, and just simple slices of it with any entre at no charge. (Doesn't feel right to charge for a free resource, after all.)
"What will it be?" he asks excitedly from behind the counter, "Something safe or are we feeling adventurous today? Oh, by the way, did you see we have a patio now?"
Oh, Crabs!
Unfortunately, his new cafe is also popular with the cast of crabs that have been coming ashore and helping themselves to everyone's stuff. Max has half a mind to start putting crab cakes on special, too.
"Shoo! Get out of here!" he shouts at a swarm of them as he brandishes his new broom. He's trying to sweep them out the door, but they keep pinching the bristles and clinging on.
"I'm getting the boiling water in a minute!" Sorry, Ody, he likes you but your knife-wielding offspring are a problem that butter and salt would deliciously solve.
He was really hoping to make the new cafe patio the biggest feature of his new cafe grand opening, but no one wants to get their toes pinched while drinking their coffee and tea.
Safe Summer Lovin' [NSFW Sexual Content]
(Speaking of crabs? Sorry! I'm so sorry!)
For a while, now, Max has wanted to get more involved with teaching. He, like others, including Gary who did that wonderful talk for Pride, has noticed there's not a lot of instructive sexual education happening broadly around town. And he doesn't just mean for adolescents. Maybe it's due to his affiliation to the Velvet, Ambrosia & Silk, or his experience leading Bart through some intimate firsts, but he's come to the conclusion that he's not a bad instructor and he might be able to help others if they want it.
To that end, Max has announced that his new cafe will host an 'after hours' seminar that combines baking and sexual education once a month. A post goes up about it on the bulletin board that reads:
First Friday Sexual Health and Safety Seminars By Max Maximum
All ages and experience levels welcome
Every first Friday of month, 6PM-8PM, at Le Cafe' Citrioulles
Food and beverage complimentary
Taking auditions for guest speakers now
Hope to see you there!
-Max Maximum
The first of these seminars is held on the first Friday of August, and it's very evident that Max has been excitedly preparing for it, because he's standing by the door, giddy with excitement, proudly handing balls of stiff dough to each attendee as they walk in and instructing them to pair off into two's and find a table. The tables each have place settings for pairs, or quartets, each with a protective layer of butcher paper laid down, and a bowl of what seems to be royal icing waiting at the center of the table.
Once everyone has found their seat, Max begins:
"I'm sure you're all curious what the dough is for, so I won't keep you in suspense. Today, I want each of you to make a penis or vagina for your pair, and I want you to try to make it as anatomically accurate as you can. It doesn't matter which of you makes which part, and you can ask for help not only from your partner, but from the entire group and me. Ask as much as you want, take any notes you want, but the goal is to have a pair of accurate genitals each by the end of the first hour. After that, we'll get into the role that fluid plays in the process--but that's for hour two."
He'll open the floor to general questions before finally saying, "Everyone got that? Okay, time starts now."
[Arts and craft time, people! Get silly with it, start mingle threads, smuggle a cucumber in, whatever you want. World is your oyster. (Just make sure to warn and label appropriately.)]
What: New Le Cafe' Citrioulles Finally Open! Come get your coffee house AUs
When: July-Aug (or longer)
Where: Attached to the Bakery in the middle of town!
Warning crab boiling, one prompt includes NSFW discussions, please label and warn clearly.
[OOC Note: I'm still putting together an official info post about what the cafe looks like/offers, etc. For now picture a quaint French corner cafe attached to the bakery building with through traffic, and a nice patio space that's fenced in and covered. The color theming is all bright royal blue with gold and pumpkin orange trim.]
Summer Specials!
In honor of Max winning Pickle King this year, he has created some limited time specials. Such offerings include salted dill macarons with cream cheese filling, grilled cheese with extra pickles, fried pickles on a stick with mustard, and, most horrifying of all, dill pickle cheesecake(Video). One need not wonder why these items are on limited run.
For those who may be looking for a more normal kind of special, Max is also taking advantage of that huge watermelon in the square to infuse many of his summer specials with watermelon flavors, too. He's offering watermelon smoothies or juicers, watermelon dipped in dark chocolate on a stick, sides of the fruit with yogurt and honey, and just simple slices of it with any entre at no charge. (Doesn't feel right to charge for a free resource, after all.)
"What will it be?" he asks excitedly from behind the counter, "Something safe or are we feeling adventurous today? Oh, by the way, did you see we have a patio now?"
Oh, Crabs!
Unfortunately, his new cafe is also popular with the cast of crabs that have been coming ashore and helping themselves to everyone's stuff. Max has half a mind to start putting crab cakes on special, too.
"Shoo! Get out of here!" he shouts at a swarm of them as he brandishes his new broom. He's trying to sweep them out the door, but they keep pinching the bristles and clinging on.
"I'm getting the boiling water in a minute!" Sorry, Ody, he likes you but your knife-wielding offspring are a problem that butter and salt would deliciously solve.
He was really hoping to make the new cafe patio the biggest feature of his new cafe grand opening, but no one wants to get their toes pinched while drinking their coffee and tea.
Safe Summer Lovin' [NSFW Sexual Content]
(Speaking of crabs? Sorry! I'm so sorry!)
For a while, now, Max has wanted to get more involved with teaching. He, like others, including Gary who did that wonderful talk for Pride, has noticed there's not a lot of instructive sexual education happening broadly around town. And he doesn't just mean for adolescents. Maybe it's due to his affiliation to the Velvet, Ambrosia & Silk, or his experience leading Bart through some intimate firsts, but he's come to the conclusion that he's not a bad instructor and he might be able to help others if they want it.
To that end, Max has announced that his new cafe will host an 'after hours' seminar that combines baking and sexual education once a month. A post goes up about it on the bulletin board that reads:
All ages and experience levels welcome
Every first Friday of month, 6PM-8PM, at Le Cafe' Citrioulles
Food and beverage complimentary
Taking auditions for guest speakers now
Hope to see you there!
-Max Maximum
The first of these seminars is held on the first Friday of August, and it's very evident that Max has been excitedly preparing for it, because he's standing by the door, giddy with excitement, proudly handing balls of stiff dough to each attendee as they walk in and instructing them to pair off into two's and find a table. The tables each have place settings for pairs, or quartets, each with a protective layer of butcher paper laid down, and a bowl of what seems to be royal icing waiting at the center of the table.
Once everyone has found their seat, Max begins:
"I'm sure you're all curious what the dough is for, so I won't keep you in suspense. Today, I want each of you to make a penis or vagina for your pair, and I want you to try to make it as anatomically accurate as you can. It doesn't matter which of you makes which part, and you can ask for help not only from your partner, but from the entire group and me. Ask as much as you want, take any notes you want, but the goal is to have a pair of accurate genitals each by the end of the first hour. After that, we'll get into the role that fluid plays in the process--but that's for hour two."
He'll open the floor to general questions before finally saying, "Everyone got that? Okay, time starts now."
[Arts and craft time, people! Get silly with it, start mingle threads, smuggle a cucumber in, whatever you want. World is your oyster. (Just make sure to warn and label appropriately.)]
no subject
"Please do," Max says when she offers to ask for the notes. "I'd be interested in trying out the process myself. Not even for anything weird, I'd just kind of love to see what I'm working with from a completely new angle."
Uh oh, he's got that gremlin glint in his eyes again, "Not that I couldn't also be convinced to turn it into a pegging insert so people could give me a taste of my own medicine."
no subject
"We've got some diagrams as well, to help us visualize how to make adjustments. Just wait, soon you'll have the stuff to have a toy of every color," she teases. Then she grins. She knows that look, and that whatever comes out of Max's mouth next would be the highlight of her week.
Of course he doesn't disappoint. Magne immediately starts to laugh, big and loud and open.
"Oh honey you must let me peek in on that process. Maybe I'll even wield that weapon for a test drive."
no subject
Her next suggestion completely destroys it because now he's the one laughing at full volume. "Don't threaten me with a good time, Magne~"