[Cukefest] June Event - Vegging Out!

[pumpkinhollow]

VEGGING OUT!

Come on out, the weather's vine!

Happy Summer, Pumpkin Hollow! May the blessings of Kora be ever at your shore and the summer sun bring Serranai’s gifts to life. The days are long and the nights are alive, and the cucumber harvest has arrived. That can only mean one thing--- it’s time for the annual cucumber festival!

2 years ago, in the year 16:53, the festival was cancelled due to all of the cucumbers being turned into turnips by a prankster witch who remains at large. As such, last year the Green King election from the bungled year was honored. But this year, Pumpkin Hollow has opened voting to its newer residents, and with an exciting turn-out! So join us for this beloved summer holiday, and enjoy cucumber-based delicacies, dance at a fancy ball, check out Pumpkin Hollow’s first-ever Pride parade, and honor our new Green King!

This event (ICly) is one week long, running from June 8th to June 14th. It is a brief reprieve from the spooky shenanigans of Pumpkin Hollow and is therefore horror free. Come get a slice of life--- and a few cucumbers too!

Gherkin this party started

Easy Being Green

The first day of the Cucumber Festival is always dedicated to the crowing of the Green King. Last year, this was Theodore “Teddy” Pennyburrow, the foxfolk man in charge of the island’s dormitory house for children without family. This year, it will be his honor to crown the new Green King.

Unlike the airy, floral affair that is Merrymeet, the Green King procession is rustic and raucous, taking place in the cobblestone streets under the fierce glow of the summer sun. Drums beat and cowbells jangle as the sidewalks crowd with cheering neighbors and the members of the Green Court are asked to strut their way to the town square, where each receives a green sash embroidered with vines.

Bringing up the rear are the two runners-up--- Father Mulcahy in third, and Radar O’Reilly in second. Each one is gifted with a pin for their sash (one bronze, one silver) with their names engraved and an enormous jar of artisanal pickles from Miann Farm in their choice of spiciness. Then, it’s time for the man of the hour to make his way forward.

A breeze whips up a fine cloak embroidered painstakingly with cucumber vines, a collar of cucumber leaves adorning his broad shoulders. He is all smiles, and what a winning smile it is. The town’s beloved baker, voted Handsome Offworlder of the Month by the Northwest Hollow Senior Ladies Knitter’s Club for three consecutive months! The man, the myth, the legend, with a name so nice you say it twice--- Max Maximum.

When he reaches Teddy, he has to bend down to receive his leafy golden crown and scepter, but he stands tall to face the crowd as their 16:55 Green King! Congratulations, Max!

From there, it’s time for the commencement party, which is held both inside and outside of the Oak & Iron. Loud and joyful music, dancing, and tons of great food are on the docket for tonight, along with a sacred ritual. It’s time to get the Green King pickled!

The rest of the Green Court is tasked with each buying Max a drink until he’s unable to continue (though Crichton is given permission to present Max with a glass of pickle juice if he chooses). It’s up to Max to earn the right to graduate from Green King to the coveted rank of Pickle King. How much can our fearless leader handle? Can he hold his liquor well enough to beat Archie Brenning’s record? The night is young--- let's find out!

Barrel of Laughs

Once the first day of the festival is out of the way, it’s all fun and games--- literally! There’s a ton of carnival games, tests of strength, cooking contests for pickle-related dishes, and even a contest for biggest cucumber. There’s also some rides, some magically powered and some kinetically powered, as well as “dragon rides” that allow townsfolk to ride on the back of a red, flying leviathan around the island! (It’s just Inspekta in an enormous dragon mask, but he’s hamming it up.)

As with last year, there will be a raffle--- this year hosted by Calloway’s Curios, and with a very interesting selection of items.

• Third prize is a Talking Water Companion. An apparatus worn on one's back that carries a substantial tank of water that it can expel for various uses. The nozzle also talks for some reason. Don't worry, it's friendly. Probably.
• Second prize is a Bicolor Teleportation Circle Cannon. Using one blue magical ring and one orange one, it can be used to designate the entry points of a makeshift teleportation circle, apparently by clinging to the celestial and otherworldly magic lingering on surfaces around town. Can only be used on flat surfaces with enough area to allow entry to an average-sized person standing upright. Use with caution.
• And first prize is a Triangle of True Sight. A teeny tiny triangular arcane construct worn on the ear. The wearer can use it to see monsters through solid surfaces and track their movements, spot otherwise hard to see tracks from animals and people, access a map of the island and receive guidance to specific locations, and translate languages---- including R'lyeah. It also includes a health monitor that can track your heart rate and count your steps. Fancy!
• The consolation prize, given to all players who do not win a major prize, is a Chatty Rectangle, which is a little red object with a panel that opens on the front, which can tell them factoids about the island's Pokemon residents. Calloway has a whole box of them. Please get rid of them. (More will be available for purchase after the festival ends as well.)

Tickets this year have a significant price hike, because of course they do. They are each going for a whopping 300 Brass. Despite Calloway’s protests, Town Hall has asked that the purchase be limited to 5 tickets per person still, in the interest of fairness. If you'd like to purchase any, please use the "RAFFLE TICKETS" thread below to do so!

A Dill-ightful Array of Colors

For reasons some of you may be familiar with, Pumpkin Hollowites tend to be a bit dubious about the idea of parades. So when the idea of a Queer Pride parade was pitched to Town Hall, it was met with no small amount of side-eye from the locals. However, after a thorough explanation of the tradition and its significance, the event was approved wholeheartedly!

On the Wednesday of the festival week, the morning schedule features a parade of brightly colored horse-drawn floats, beautiful men wearing very little clothing, muscular women in heavy knight’s armor, androgynous people in fantastical clothing, and people of all genders clad in symbolic color palettes or different flavors of drag. It’s a splendid display that offworlders and locals enjoy, and the parade leads to the Greymare Library lawn, just off of the main area of the Cucumber Festival that is designated for Pride-specific booths and activities.

Gerry Keay will be hosting a repeat of his popular seminar, “Gay Shit 101”, and various speakers will also be asked to share speeches, performances, art, and poetry about their experience with sexuality and gender. Drag shows will be held on a small stage, the lady-knights will be sparring on a section of lawn for entertainment, and booths will be selling special craft pieces, clothing, and street food themed around the event. This festival will run alongside the main event from Wednesday to Friday, but will close on Saturday to allow the folks running it to attend the closing festivities of the Cucumber Festival.

Town Hall would like to extend a huge shout-out to Pinhole Printing and Binding, the Velvet, Ambrosia, and Silk brothel, and the Bizzyboys for helping to sponsor and organize the event! Pumpkin Hollow is excited to incorporate this celebration of identity and expression into their summer traditions going forward!

A Slice of the High Life

On Saturday, it comes time for the closing ceremonies. Many of the food and game booths are still open in the main area of the festival for the morning and early afternoon, but they close up early to prepare for one final event.

You see, Pumpkin Hollow’s last major celebration was for Merrymeet back in February. The normally delightful spring cotillion was interrupted by Efrain himself, preventing people from fully enjoying the party for the second year in a row. To make up for lost dancing time, this year’s closing celebration of the Cucumber Festival will feature an indoor-outdoor fancy dress party in Town Hall and in the plaza.

As before, if you would like a custom outfit for the occasion, you will need to foot the bill. However, if you aren’t able to pay for one, there will be 50B rentals available, with one catch---- everything that is available for this offer is in a shade of green, since the clothes made for this purpose are made of excess fabric from the festival decorations. Seems like Yorick, in a distracted state after his breakup from Mayor Poe, ordered double the amount needed, and Town Hall is very much hoping that the rentals will help make up for some of the lost budget.

As usual, there will be an impressive array of food (much of which will still be cucumber-based), plenty of music, and good times with friends! Perhaps a little interpersonal drama for later gossip as well? Time will tell! Let’s end the Cucumber Festival with a bang!

Speaking of bangs, once the party ends, there will be fireworks lit outside, so grab a seat on the Festival Green for a romantic evening or grab a complimentary potion of Deafen on your way home for a good night’s sleep. Happy Cukefest!

| CONTENT WARNINGS: alcohol use |

Comments

Re: pride

[maximumcake]

"You know it!" he says with another dramatic swish. 

He isn't shy about looking her outfit up and down, either. It brings a big ol' smile to his face.

"Love the look--really brings out your tits." By now, she ought to know he means that as a sincere compliment. "It's a good color on you."

[closureisformovies]

"Aww, thanks." She hoicks up the bust of it a little, looking down at herself momentarily. "You really can't miss with a good bustier—a lesson learned first through observation and second through experience."

You observe the tits, then you become the tits. This is the way of estrogen.

"So, how bad was the hangover? Or are you one of those lucky sods who skip that part entirely even after getting utterly gazeboed."

[maximumcake]

He nods along seriously as if it is indeed deep and sagely advice, but he can't stop cracking a smile the whole time.

"God, I wish," he groans. Nope, he's not that lucky. "I had to stay in a dark room for half the day. Couldn't even get up to make breakfast, so..." pretty bad. "Worth it, though. I had a blast."

A beat.

"Gazeboed??"

[closureisformovies]

She grins a total shit-eating grin. "What, you never heard any of the good ol' British drunk glossary? Pretty much every word's in it if you say it right, it's very comprehensive. We've got gazeboed, we've got wankered, badgered, trousered, cabbaged... pick a noun and you can make it work."

She gestures. "Give it a try. Describe your state last night. 'Pickled' is cheating."

[maximumcake]

"I've actually never been there, so everything I know comes from you and a few others." He's all ears, though. New words entering the lexicon now.

"I wasn't pickled last night, I was fermented!!"

[closureisformovies]

"If I was being a real rules-lawyer I'd say that's too close to pickled, but it's clever enough I'll let that slide," she jokes. "You really were bloody fermented, I'm surprised the O&I had any booze left after they were done with you. Not easy submerging someone as big as you."

[maximumcake]

"Ha!" his laugh booms. "Maybe they only had to pickle my cucumber... shit, wait..." He just remembered Edgar's joke and oh look at that he's turning really red again.

[closureisformovies]

Alex doubles over almost immediately, literally slapping her leg. "Look at you! It's still this effective! I never woulda guessed that'd get you so bad."

[maximumcake]

"It's just that...that... listen, it would be such a terrible idea to use a cucumber for that!"

nsfw dialogue to be expected

[closureisformovies]

Without an ounce of shame: "Does it get less terrible if you at least put a condom on it?"

Re: nsfw dialogue to be expected

[maximumcake]

"No, it does not." Max huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "At that point, why not use a real dildo? It's going to feel the same." 

Re: nsfw dialogue to be expected

[closureisformovies]

Alice just plants a hand on her hip and gestures with the otherfor maximum faux sass. "Yeah but a cucumber's a lot cheaper than even a shitty dildo from the Sexual Health aisle in Boots. You can get one for less than a quid and then so long as you're careful you've got a snack for after!"

Yeah she knows this is disgusting, she's just never met a hill she won't die on for the sake of a bit.

Re: nsfw dialogue to be expected

[maximumcake]

Max makes a face like she just suggested licking the inside of a toilet bowl. And she might as well have!!

"Ueagh! No, no no no!" (Yeah, they are both going to die on this hill, aren't they?) "You think that's the cheaper option, sure, until you give yourself a nasty infection and have to go to the doctor for antibiotics! Food is not meant to go in that hole and I would know!"

Re: nsfw dialogue to be expected

[closureisformovies]

"The price of an NHS prescription is still cheaper than a proper dildo, such is my privilege as a British citizen. In a pinch I'm pretty sure it'd be worth it."

No, it definitely wouldn't be, but again: commitment to the bit. There's zero exaggeration about the price, either. Combined a cucumber and a prescription would be just under the cost of the cheapest available dildo.

Re: nsfw dialogue to be expected, and not safe for LIFE, too

[maximumcake]

"Wow...I guess if you're a brit you can! In America you'd just be signing your death warrant." Damn, that's kind of depressing.

"I still don't think it's worth giving yourself the mother of all yeast infections. Like, I haven't even had one myself and I know how much they suck. You don't need to go turning your hoo-ha into a soft cheese plate, there are better ways!"

Re: nsfw dialogue to be expected, and not safe for LIFE, too

[closureisformovies]

There's half a point about magical medicine here in town ready to fly before he takes her out at the knees with that last sentence. The wheezing sound that escapes her almost sounds like she's dying. "Cheese pl— Max that is disgusting, that's—"

Yeah she's gone.

Re: nsfw dialogue to be expected, and not safe for LIFE, too

[maximumcake]

Max cackles triumphantly. Should he be proud? Probably not, but he is when his opponent in the war of words was so horribly worthy.

"I told you..."

It should be noted that circle of space between them and the crowd has been steadily widening.

[closureisformovies]

She's sitting herself down on the ground, she can't stand whilst she's dying like this. No one's gonna step on her anyway they've basically cast a warding spell.

"Sometimes—" she says, going for grave seriousness but undermined by trying not to laugh, "commitment to the bit has consequences."

[maximumcake]

They both committed too close to the sun this time.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm just as horrified with myself for saying it."

[closureisformovies]

"Good. If I'm going down you're coming down with me." She lazily attempts to make this more literal by reaching up to tug his wrist as if trying to drag him down to the floor with her, just really, really weakly. "Thank you, Mr. Maximum, for joining me on this journey of tainting the entire concept of language and words as we know them."

[maximumcake]

It doesn't take much to make him fold. A few light tugs and down he goes, settling in right beside her. Partners in crime.

"Don't bring up taints, now, come on!"

[closureisformovies]

Alice snort-laughs and almost falls back onto the grass, before deliberately choosing to fall into his side instead. "We shoulda brought up taints sooner! Equal opportunity!"

[maximumcake]

Max lets out a playful screech as she falls on him, but it's more laughter than anything else. Not like her gangly amount of weight is going to hurt this beefcake.

"No!! Cucumbers don't have flared bases!" he shouts. (Several people turn toward him horror stricken.)

[closureisformovies]

"Not with that attitude they don't!"

This, of course, makes absolutely no sense as a rebuttal (ha, butt) but it's what she's going with anyway.

[maximumcake]

"What, are you gonna use dill dip as lube next??"