Sephiroth (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
imjustaman) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ph_logs2025-04-30 03:32 pm
imjustaman) wrote in ph_logs2025-04-30 03:32 pm
No Escaping From What You Did | Sephiroth, OTA
Who: Sephiroth (imjustaman) & Everyone, especially Zack (fairtide)
What:
Struggling to recover from several months of having pain dredged up and having a horrific fall-out with Zack
When:
End of April
Where:
Police station and the woods
Warning(s):
Grief, guilt, survivor's guilt, depression, self-hatred, Sephiroth's past
Trying to Work
Sephiroth has not been handling anything well since that day he met Zack at the restaurant. He works, but he’s closed-off and quiet. He tries to present himself as being normal. He used to be able to do that, even after Angeal and Genesis left, but that was so long ago and things are so different now. He isn’t so good at pretending anymore. He’s torn between what to think. Everyone here has some deep-rooted pain and sorrow, and there’s even others who nearly destroyed worlds, so he tries to keep hold of those thoughts and tries to tell himself that it’s alright for him to reach out, to have friends. They deserve happiness, so why doesn’t he?
But it’s so much easier to say it, to think it, than to really believe it.
He shouldn't be here, granted another chance. He doesn't deserve it. He should have been left to die. Again.
There's no making up for what he did. No apology good enough. Nothing he can do.
He should be dead.
But what good would that do?
What good does any of it do? Has he made any positive difference here at all? Has he made things better for anyone?
Right now, it doesn't feel like it.
He goes about his work at the police station, but it’s likely obvious from his eyes that he’s shattered inside.
In the Woods
After work, Sephiroth tends to disappear from the radar. He feeds his Pokemon and then vanishes from the house. It’s not necessarily unusual behavior for him, but he’s gone much more these days. Has he been eating himself? Sleeping?
By now there are likely tales in town of the mysterious winged man in the woods, scary-looking yet apparently just there to try to protect others who have wandered into the paths of monsters. After all the displays of wings in his normal form over the last several months, most people may know it’s him. He’s not sure. He doesn’t care anymore.
If he’s not at the police station, or spending brief moments at home, he’s in the woods. Anyone stumbling across him will find a man with glowing eyes, levitating hair, and only one wing on his back. The rest are around his waist like a kilt or skirt. He does look formidable. He doesn't really look like Sephiroth unless one has ever seen him like this, but his voice is the same. And the wings are likely good identification.
imjustaman) & Everyone, especially Zack (fairtide)What:
Struggling to recover from several months of having pain dredged up and having a horrific fall-out with Zack
When:
End of April
Where:
Police station and the woods
Warning(s):
Grief, guilt, survivor's guilt, depression, self-hatred, Sephiroth's past
Trying to Work
Sephiroth has not been handling anything well since that day he met Zack at the restaurant. He works, but he’s closed-off and quiet. He tries to present himself as being normal. He used to be able to do that, even after Angeal and Genesis left, but that was so long ago and things are so different now. He isn’t so good at pretending anymore. He’s torn between what to think. Everyone here has some deep-rooted pain and sorrow, and there’s even others who nearly destroyed worlds, so he tries to keep hold of those thoughts and tries to tell himself that it’s alright for him to reach out, to have friends. They deserve happiness, so why doesn’t he?
But it’s so much easier to say it, to think it, than to really believe it.
He shouldn't be here, granted another chance. He doesn't deserve it. He should have been left to die. Again.
There's no making up for what he did. No apology good enough. Nothing he can do.
He should be dead.
But what good would that do?
What good does any of it do? Has he made any positive difference here at all? Has he made things better for anyone?
Right now, it doesn't feel like it.
He goes about his work at the police station, but it’s likely obvious from his eyes that he’s shattered inside.
In the Woods
After work, Sephiroth tends to disappear from the radar. He feeds his Pokemon and then vanishes from the house. It’s not necessarily unusual behavior for him, but he’s gone much more these days. Has he been eating himself? Sleeping?
By now there are likely tales in town of the mysterious winged man in the woods, scary-looking yet apparently just there to try to protect others who have wandered into the paths of monsters. After all the displays of wings in his normal form over the last several months, most people may know it’s him. He’s not sure. He doesn’t care anymore.
If he’s not at the police station, or spending brief moments at home, he’s in the woods. Anyone stumbling across him will find a man with glowing eyes, levitating hair, and only one wing on his back. The rest are around his waist like a kilt or skirt. He does look formidable. He doesn't really look like Sephiroth unless one has ever seen him like this, but his voice is the same. And the wings are likely good identification.
no subject
no subject
[He picks Zack up again and takes flight, going carefully to try not to jar him.
Soon they're in the right area and he lands in front of his house. His animals are both watching from the window and excitedly jump around.
He chuckles, watching them.]
no subject
Those your pups? [Zack asked as they landed, walking toward the house and feeling terrible, which was a given.]
no subject
Yes. The fox-like one is an Eevee. Her name is Lucy.
The other is an Umbreon. Eevees can become those. Apparently it's called evolving.
[He gave an amused yet awkward smile.]
There may be some confusion when interacting; his name is Zack.
[He opened the door, not sure how Zack would react to that.
Lucy and Zack both rushed over, definitely acting like happy dogs or cats to see him. He chuckles, petting them and speaking to them softly.]
no subject
[Zack bent down to pet the animals carefully, incase they didn't like him.] Hey Pups, you can call me Uncle Zack. I"ll spoil you rotten at some point.
no subject
[They sniff him all over and then cheer happily.
Sephiroth chuckles.]
They like you. Of course, I'm not surprised.
no subject
I am, just a little. Will I get them sick? Do they get sick like normal animals? [His stomach rolls and he closes his eyes, fighting off the assault of his immune system turning on him.]
CW: Mention of attempted suicide
[He still isn't sure at all how to feel about that, or her. He's distraught that his own mother was willing to experiment on him. But she did feel tremendously guilty about it after the fact, which is more than Jenova ever felt for him.
Lucy and Zack happily rub and nuzzle him! Yay new friend who makes Sephiroth very happy!]
They seem to be very hardy. I think they'll be fine. I should get you to bed.
no subject
[Zack grins, petting behind Lucy's ears and underneath Zack's chin. He grins, happy he won't make them sick.] Long as they won't get sick, I'm cool with it but I'd feel horrible if they did.
[He pouted, looking up at Sephiroth.] I need sleep, yeah, but I wish I could stay up so we can catch up.
no subject
[He smiled, watching Zack with the Pokemon. They were very enthusiastic and happy, tails bouncing rapidly.]
They are very unusual creatures. I would like to learn more about them.
[A chuckle.]
Well. Perhaps if you're not sleepy when you lie down, we can talk a while longer.
[But he wondered what sort of enjoyable catching up they could even do. Was there much that could even be said other than the horrible, grim topics they had discussed the first time? Perhaps simply explaining more about their current home....]