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Valdis settles into the rhythm she knows so well, putting the teacups on a tray with the pot along with some cookies from Max. She carries it to the couch, like she always does, but pauses partway there, knowing that this isn't like always. Fever sits with a contentment and peace that she never had before, even when she was able to relax there had always been something sharp about her that has softened.
She continues her way to the couch, setting the tray on the coffee table, pouring the tea into the cups before taking a seat next to Fever.
"You feel happy."
She continues her way to the couch, setting the tray on the coffee table, pouring the tea into the cups before taking a seat next to Fever.
"You feel happy."
He chuckles. "Yeah, of course. Well, I appreciate you guys telling me." Toothlessly but teasing: "Finally."
Idly stabbing the stew, "Helena, do you have a key to the house yet? We can arrange that if you don't."
Even if they aren't moving anywhere, if there's an engagement afoot, this is the least they can do. Helena's going to be part of the family. She already knows how they run the house and they're all already used to her, but now's a good time to settle into that even more.
"Well, we'll probably talk to Dimes and Rubes first--wait, have you told them yet?"
Idly stabbing the stew, "Helena, do you have a key to the house yet? We can arrange that if you don't."
Even if they aren't moving anywhere, if there's an engagement afoot, this is the least they can do. Helena's going to be part of the family. She already knows how they run the house and they're all already used to her, but now's a good time to settle into that even more.
"Well, we'll probably talk to Dimes and Rubes first--wait, have you told them yet?"
"I am happy. It feels like....I've been struggling to breathe for years and years, and now I actually can. It's so easy."
Valdis is near, and Fever chooses to shift so that she's right next to her, able to rest her head on the other woman's shoulder. Which she does, seeking the physical contact in much the same way as Anani might demand more pets.
"Didn't realize how much space he took up in me until he was gone. Maybe that's why it was hard to fit in my own skin. Not enough space for me, when there was someone else there, unless I was small and fit myself around him."
Valdis is near, and Fever chooses to shift so that she's right next to her, able to rest her head on the other woman's shoulder. Which she does, seeking the physical contact in much the same way as Anani might demand more pets.
"Didn't realize how much space he took up in me until he was gone. Maybe that's why it was hard to fit in my own skin. Not enough space for me, when there was someone else there, unless I was small and fit myself around him."
The description of how Fever felt as the part of her that wasn't truly her took up so much space she had to make herself fit explained so much of the tension in the woman's soul. It's not a feeling she knows for herself, but she can feel in Fever just how much of an impact it has had.
"That would drive anyone mad."
Like a painful abscess, filled with something poisonous with nowhere to go. It must have hurt so much more than Fever let her feel, not that her empathy has been particularly hard on her what with the vastness of this space.
"I'm glad you can breathe again."
"That would drive anyone mad."
Like a painful abscess, filled with something poisonous with nowhere to go. It must have hurt so much more than Fever let her feel, not that her empathy has been particularly hard on her what with the vastness of this space.
"I'm glad you can breathe again."
"You got it out?!"
Quick as a flash, Radar vaults off the stepstool and practically hurls himself at Fever, crushing her -- and, by extension, the chicken -- in an embrace. The chicken lets out a muffled squawk, but settles into the group hug with good-natured, avian resignation pretty quick.
"Fever! You got it out!" He's outright bouncing on his toes in excitement. "You did it, you fixed it! Oh, wow, I can't believe it -- !"
Quick as a flash, Radar vaults off the stepstool and practically hurls himself at Fever, crushing her -- and, by extension, the chicken -- in an embrace. The chicken lets out a muffled squawk, but settles into the group hug with good-natured, avian resignation pretty quick.
"Fever! You got it out!" He's outright bouncing on his toes in excitement. "You did it, you fixed it! Oh, wow, I can't believe it -- !"
"Perhaps for the first time."
She'll never know if she was always like this, or if she was ever sweet, free of blood and terror. If she ever touched things without leaving foul handprints on them. If her name was a good thing to be called.
"...I've been mad since you met me, Valdis. I always will be. There's no life in which I'm not. This much, I know for certain."
She'll never know if she was always like this, or if she was ever sweet, free of blood and terror. If she ever touched things without leaving foul handprints on them. If her name was a good thing to be called.
"...I've been mad since you met me, Valdis. I always will be. There's no life in which I'm not. This much, I know for certain."
"I'm not saying you weren't."
She turns her head to kiss the top of Fever's head, happy with the contact, but concerned that Fever might think she's being dismissive.
"I'm saying it's not your fault."
She turns her head to kiss the top of Fever's head, happy with the contact, but concerned that Fever might think she's being dismissive.
"I'm saying it's not your fault."
She laughs, hugging him with her free arm and trying to not squish the chicken too much in the embrace. Happiness is clear and bright, nigh musical in its truth, and she's grinning enough that she feels it in her face.
"As much as it can be fixed, yes. It's...I'm safer, now. You're safe. Everyone else is safe."
And she can breathe, and she can feel closer to her own skin, and she can touch other living beings without the flickering doubts that inhabited her. She thinks he'll understand - that one can take the shrapnel out, the infected organ, reset the bone - but the mind is a place where no surgeon's knife can go. That takes time, and care, and being out of whatever sort of war one is in.
"As much as it can be fixed, yes. It's...I'm safer, now. You're safe. Everyone else is safe."
And she can breathe, and she can feel closer to her own skin, and she can touch other living beings without the flickering doubts that inhabited her. She thinks he'll understand - that one can take the shrapnel out, the infected organ, reset the bone - but the mind is a place where no surgeon's knife can go. That takes time, and care, and being out of whatever sort of war one is in.
"...thank you."
For a long moment, she just sits there, before pulling herself back up to take a cup of the tea. The warmth in her hands is welcome, and she sips the tea, appreciating the flavor for itself before reaching to add a sugar cube. There. Now it's perfect.
"Did you feel anything, when it happened? I don't know if you would have, but..."
That tie they share, after all.
For a long moment, she just sits there, before pulling herself back up to take a cup of the tea. The warmth in her hands is welcome, and she sips the tea, appreciating the flavor for itself before reaching to add a sugar cube. There. Now it's perfect.
"Did you feel anything, when it happened? I don't know if you would have, but..."
That tie they share, after all.
They sit in silence a little too long, she didn't expect this to be so awkward. She picks up her own tea when Fever sits up, adding a sugar cube of her own and idly swirling the tea around to dissolve it.
"I felt everything...It took all of my self control to stop myself from hunting you all down. I knew I wouldn't be able to help, probably would have just gotten in the way, and I knew if you wanted me there, you would have asked."
"I felt everything...It took all of my self control to stop myself from hunting you all down. I knew I wouldn't be able to help, probably would have just gotten in the way, and I knew if you wanted me there, you would have asked."
"I had to do it on my own. That was part of it. I didn't know precisely what was coming, but I could only bring myself. That I knew for a while."
Her expression twists, in a what can you do expression, but Valdis will know that a flicker of resignation runs through her at expressing that. To unwind one's own fate is not an easy task.
Her expression twists, in a what can you do expression, but Valdis will know that a flicker of resignation runs through her at expressing that. To unwind one's own fate is not an easy task.
"I know. I'm not offended. It was for the best that I wasn't there, and I know some things you have to do yourself."
Tiamat may have been silent for the better part of a year, but that doesn't mean she isn't there, who knows how the goddess would have reacted to the ceremony, or Mortanne or Sheo. Not to mention how much she herself could have ruined by not understanding the ceremony.
"I know you are happy, but you seem...sad too."
Tiamat may have been silent for the better part of a year, but that doesn't mean she isn't there, who knows how the goddess would have reacted to the ceremony, or Mortanne or Sheo. Not to mention how much she herself could have ruined by not understanding the ceremony.
"I know you are happy, but you seem...sad too."
For a second, Fever's quiet, contemplating her words, before she forms them in the right shape for her response.
"Having all this space now within me is a good thing, it's what I wanted, but...it also shows me the true breadth of everything I lack. It will take more work than I thought to fill in all the gaps. Make me less...empty. There's so little of me, compared to someone else."
Taking another drink of the tea, she settles into her place next to Valdis.
"And I wonder if the me in the past ever realized how little of herself there actually was."
Their shared blood, that promise. You are me. To not forget each other.
"Having all this space now within me is a good thing, it's what I wanted, but...it also shows me the true breadth of everything I lack. It will take more work than I thought to fill in all the gaps. Make me less...empty. There's so little of me, compared to someone else."
Taking another drink of the tea, she settles into her place next to Valdis.
"And I wonder if the me in the past ever realized how little of herself there actually was."
Their shared blood, that promise. You are me. To not forget each other.
Max coos softly to them both as he walks, cradling them so tenderly. Though, he must admit the fixed stare of the older cat is slightly unnerving.
"Don't worry. I'll take you back to my farm house and put you both in front of the fire. We can all have some tuna sandwiches together. How does that sound?"
Valdis won't be home when he gets there. She's still on the clock. But Anani has something to say the moment Max steps inside with two other cats. The fluffy white cat's meadows are somewhat accusatory, and he paws at Max's ankles as if demanding to see what he's brought inside.
"Anani, be nice. They're just visiting."
"Don't worry. I'll take you back to my farm house and put you both in front of the fire. We can all have some tuna sandwiches together. How does that sound?"
Valdis won't be home when he gets there. She's still on the clock. But Anani has something to say the moment Max steps inside with two other cats. The fluffy white cat's meadows are somewhat accusatory, and he paws at Max's ankles as if demanding to see what he's brought inside.
"Anani, be nice. They're just visiting."
The gray cat seems to have settled in a little more comfortably into Max's arms, and is now purring intensely. This started around the time that tuna was mentioned, but that's probably a coincidence.
Valdis leans into Fever, understanding how the woman feels perhaps more than she realizes.
"I have lived many lives, none of them my own, and the one before here was at the mercy of someone who didn't know what living was. It's not easy, but we can figure it out together."
"I have lived many lives, none of them my own, and the one before here was at the mercy of someone who didn't know what living was. It's not easy, but we can figure it out together."
"Yes. And I'm looking forward to it. There's so much we'll get to experience for ourselves, as ourselves. And at least you'll know you're not the only one stumbling through it all when everyone else seems to get it without trying."
The hand that's not holding her cup reaches for Valdis's own, to press it.
"I even thought about renaming myself, to commemorate my liberation."
The hand that's not holding her cup reaches for Valdis's own, to press it.
"I even thought about renaming myself, to commemorate my liberation."
Her hand has already found Darcy's by the time Phil starts talking again, moving towards the other as easily as any other reflex. The moment they make contact, Helena minutely relaxes even further, reassured by their presence.
A key to the house. Somehow that feels as formal as if they were talking about getting her an engagement ring (which she had firmly expressed wasn't necessary, with the bracelet Darcy gave her as a perfectly suitable stand in) or something else intensely valuable. The look on her face probably says enough, with how surprised she seems.
An actual key. How long would it take before she stops knocking out of habit, waiting to be invited in?
Oh right, there was a question.
"Not yet. You're the first person we let know." A pause. "But we might as well tell them tonight, since I'm already here." If Darcy won't simply Perish at the concept of being perceived thrice over in a night.
A key to the house. Somehow that feels as formal as if they were talking about getting her an engagement ring (which she had firmly expressed wasn't necessary, with the bracelet Darcy gave her as a perfectly suitable stand in) or something else intensely valuable. The look on her face probably says enough, with how surprised she seems.
An actual key. How long would it take before she stops knocking out of habit, waiting to be invited in?
Oh right, there was a question.
"Not yet. You're the first person we let know." A pause. "But we might as well tell them tonight, since I'm already here." If Darcy won't simply Perish at the concept of being perceived thrice over in a night.
"And you're free."
Because that's just as important, if not more so. Korea taught him that safety can be relative. Sure, it's a relief that he never has to worry about some awful compulsion overriding his friend and hurting him or people he loves in the process, of course it is -- but Radar thinks of how much she's been hurting, carrying around that weight, and hears how she sings now that she's let it go. No wonder her mind sounds like a wide open field and a newborn horse ready to run.
"Oh, I'm so glad." He hugs her even tighter for a second before he finally pulls back, beaming. "Boy that must've been a pretty huge spell if your dad and Miss Mortanne got involved, huh? But if anybody was gonna be able to do it it'd be you three."
Because that's just as important, if not more so. Korea taught him that safety can be relative. Sure, it's a relief that he never has to worry about some awful compulsion overriding his friend and hurting him or people he loves in the process, of course it is -- but Radar thinks of how much she's been hurting, carrying around that weight, and hears how she sings now that she's let it go. No wonder her mind sounds like a wide open field and a newborn horse ready to run.
"Oh, I'm so glad." He hugs her even tighter for a second before he finally pulls back, beaming. "Boy that must've been a pretty huge spell if your dad and Miss Mortanne got involved, huh? But if anybody was gonna be able to do it it'd be you three."
"A key would be good," Darcy tries to imagine coming home to see Lena curled up on the couch reading a book and immediately short-circuits just a bit.
Then a small sigh, because Ruby and Dimitri will both make Things out of it and it'll all be A Lot to deal with.
"We will, just... not just yet," and she gently squeezes Helena's hand. The three of them, quietly sharing in something deeply wonderful.
Then a small sigh, because Ruby and Dimitri will both make Things out of it and it'll all be A Lot to deal with.
"We will, just... not just yet," and she gently squeezes Helena's hand. The three of them, quietly sharing in something deeply wonderful.
Yes. Those words should be more comforting than they are. Fever now has the opportunity to make her own life as she wants, but Valdis can't break free from her own fate. Even if it were possible to, she's not sure she would take the opportunity as easily as she once believed.
Power is necessary.
Valdis smiles, taking the hand reaching for hers.
"Oh? And what have you decided?"
Power is necessary.
Valdis smiles, taking the hand reaching for hers.
"Oh? And what have you decided?"
Edited 2025-01-23 04:18 (UTC)
"...I'm keeping it. It did its best to hang on even when everything else was gone. I can't discredit that. But I want to add a last name, maybe a middle name too. I'll still be me, but there'll just be more of me. Filling up some of that space."
A little more complete. A little more like a regular person, if she's to be frank.
A little more complete. A little more like a regular person, if she's to be frank.
Valdis squeezes Fever's hand. She could have changed her own name if she wished, and she had, many times, but those were all an act, just someone to pretend to be. She had chosen to use the name Valdis, even with everything it entailed. She's glad Fever has chosen to do the same, but even if she hadn't, Valdis would support her.
"And what names are you considering?"
"And what names are you considering?"
"It was, but fortunately, what I'm teaching you today is much, much smaller in scale. No extra help needed to carry this off."
The chicken is allowed to return to the earth, and Fever's now free hands go to her hips. She's not refusing further questions, but she realizes that if she goes too far down this road, they're going to lose track of her original reason for showing up in the first place.
"In fact, I think you'll take to it quite handily."
Get it. Since it's an extra hand.
The chicken is allowed to return to the earth, and Fever's now free hands go to her hips. She's not refusing further questions, but she realizes that if she goes too far down this road, they're going to lose track of her original reason for showing up in the first place.
"In fact, I think you'll take to it quite handily."
Get it. Since it's an extra hand.
"Depends on what's on offer. I think...one from my new father, and then another that's been offered to me in the past. That would be ideal."
One of them, she knows already. But the other? She'll have to ask. See if he knows anything fitting.
One of them, she knows already. But the other? She'll have to ask. See if he knows anything fitting.
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