The bathroom tiles were cool against my hand

[notinflictthem]

CHARACTERS: Hawkeye and you! Yes, you!
DATE: November
LOCATION: Hawkeye’s Clinic
SITUATION: Settling in, making waves, shaking hands, making friends
WARNINGS: Blanket warning that war and injury may come up

Press my corpse against the wall

Hawkeye wakes up to sunlight instead of Radar yelling for helicopters. He has his coffee unhurried, plans out his day. No Frank to yell at him for not shaving, but no Trap to chew the fat with, either. Nobody to complain with about breakfast. It’s too quiet. If he doesn’t see a human person in the next hour, he’s going to start gnawing his own limbs off.

So from about 8am-6pm, the clinic is staffed. The sign out the front reads ‘Hawkeye’s Clinic, happy hour 6-7pm’, and underneath that, more recently, a smaller sign reads ‘100% satisfaction rate; just ask the survivors!’
Inside, Hawkeye is either cleaning, running his tabletop still for alcohol to disinfect with (or drink), or organising his small array of client notes.

I told the band to leave without me

If you actually visit during the signposted happy hour, the table in the middle of the clinic has a tablecloth draped over it, and Hawkeye stands there polishing the couple of glasses he owns. Someone should get him some decent barware. There’s a couple of stools, and he grins as you enter. He’s playing bartender. Indulge him?

I'll get the next flight

After happy hour, the ‘bar’ gets packed up and the clinic gets scrubbed down. If you’ve got a standing invitation for cards, a date, or just want to check in on him off-hours, this is the time to do it. Find him out on his front doorstep with his nose in a book, leaning out the window with a martini in hand and watching the street, or doing something upstairs, the sound of a pleasant baritone muddling through something jazzy.

And if I make it to the mornin' (wildcard)

(Hit me!)

Comments

[restingslasherface]

'Oversized carousel horse' hits Jean when they're least ready for it; they snort in their attempt to fight back laughter, their expression warring between polite guilt and amusement.

Amusement is so winning.

"Doctor First Aid and I have..." find a polite term, find it, find it, "clashing political beliefs." That works! "Nothing but respect for his skill as a surgeon! He fixed my implants, saved my life, hahaha, ha, hahaha, but I'm not gonna sit down with him for a tall glass of batteries no."

[notinflictthem]

...

"Are you actually a communist?"

Both hands up, "no judgment, I was just told you weren't."

[restingslasherface]

"What's a communist? And why are you asking?"

Is it weird that no matter how much Jean blinks in confusion here their pupils just stay the same size.

[notinflictthem]

"Back where I come from, if people had political disagreements, it was usually because one of them was a communist. Or if they thought you were one. Or suspected you were one and reported you to the government about it."

Does he look like an optometrist? How about now, better or worse?

[restingslasherface]

"Wow! Communists sure sound like contentious people, Comrade." Jean missing the irony is almost a physical event. "But! No, it's on the topic of the validity of caste systems! I am not a fan!"

Jean throwing stones from within their glass house of capitalism, everybody.

"Oh! Your! Actual question..." Jean frowns. "I don't actually know any nurses, but there's a few people who've helped during prior emergencies. Lord Erik has some manner of healing, and I'm competent to deliver first aid. Comrade Jones probably is too, he associates strongly with Dahlia Leeds...is it hard to train a nurse?"

[notinflictthem]

...

"What- like the Indian caste system? First Aid is- what?"

Surely as a doctor-robot First Aid should be more equipped to see how stupid that is.

Onto his actual question, Hawkeye does a sort of shaky gesture.

"Harder than people think. They might not be qualified to perform surgery, but there's a lot of skills they need for it- they need to know all the tools we use by name, and it helps if they can guess what we need before we need it. They have to be able to close up a patient once we're done, and they can't be too squeamish. And there's the other logistics- if a patient is getting ongoing care, the nurses are usually the ones who actually administer it- medications, IVs, transfusions, all of that. A good nurse is a thing of beauty."

[restingslasherface]

"Doctor First Aid was built for his socially prestigious and extremely respected job, and didn't, say, hahaha, ha... interview for it." Jean's eyes glaze over at 'interview' but despite this they actually start taking notes partway through Hawkeye's description of nurses. It's fascinating! Jean had thought of them as, they dunno, a sort of domesticated combat medic, but the problem of long term care was one they'd never, ever considered.

They frown in thought. "I don't want to volunteer anyone, Doctor Pierce, but I suspect that you might get better luck in the short term trying to train a...levy? Levy is close enough I suppose. Almost everyone who comes to mind is currently employed! Comrade Eddie has his farm, Lord Erik is valiantly working overtime, Chris works with you already..."

[notinflictthem]

"...Huh." First aid had told him that, but Hawkeye hadn't connected the two dots. Of course a robot built to be a doctor doesn't have to have medical certification. In that way, it kind of is like a caste system. But also... First Aid is a robot? That's kind of like saying that his scalpel didn't need to interview above other knives.

"In the short term, I think I can handle it myself, more or less. It's been quiet, knock on wood, just been a pain getting my own equipment. I'll get used to it. Or hey- maybe one of the nurses from home will show up. Preferably one of the cute ones."

[restingslasherface]

"Still! I'll keep an eye out! Supporting our medical staff is vital, especially if we intend on training the locals. I'm looking to avoid a post-success collapse, where the new arrivals leave and take the relevant skills with them."

[notinflictthem]

"Well hey- I appreciate it, comrade. And good call, the last thing we need is to leave these folks up the creek without a paddle. I'm a fantastic doctor, but there is only one of me, and if none of the rest of my coworkers are here, then they need me back there."

At least, he hasn't seen Trap or Henry or any of the rest. Which is good, it rules out bombing. Mostly.

"What is it that you do, again? I don't think you said when you introduced yourself."

[restingslasherface]

"Oh! I didn't! My apologies!" Jean bows, one hand over their chest, comes back up still smilin' that slasher smile. "Currently I serve aboard the Copper Coin as a fisherman! But in terms of the overall project I'm part of the combat team. Please don't hesitate to call me for your protection or anyone else's, or to..."

"...Discourage something intractable."

[notinflictthem]

"So that's the smell I smelled when you walked in. At ease," he waves the bow off, "we don't do formal here."

Hawkeye also waves off the offer, saying-

"First do no harm also covers 'first don't ask other people to do harm'. Not my style, sorry."

[restingslasherface]

"...First do no harm? It sounds like some kind of company policy but..."

Jean is trying to square it but they're still not at a point where they can conceive of pacifism.

[notinflictthem]

"It's the Hippocratic oath. Old thing that doctors have to swear on. Well- 'first do no harm' isn't on there, technically, but the idea is there. Don't abuse your position, don't do anything to your patients without reason, don't cut into anything that doesn't need cutting into, brotherhood with your fellow doctors. All of that. Point is, I swore when I became a doctor that I wouldn't end a human life on purpose, and I plan to stick to that."

[restingslasherface]

In an awed whisper: "Wow..."

They're a hot second shaking that off but clarification does eventually arrive in the form of: "I'd admittedly had my thoughts closer to the Pine Devil than humans! But I think I understand...and I can respect it."

[notinflictthem]

...

"What's a pine devil?"

[restingslasherface]

"A gigantic, winged, goat-like night predator that feeds on offal! It's been attacking people. However big you're thinking, bigger - it looms over even Doctor First Aid."

[notinflictthem]

"And the connection between it and the Hippocratic oath is...?"

[restingslasherface]

"Well...I suppose I'm not explaining my thought process very well..." Jean kinda. Gestures. It's not manic, just vague and confused. "What I meant is that my offer of protection was made with the monsters of the island in mind; actively hostile forces, many of which appear to be animals! The Pine Devil came to mind because unlike many it doesn't seem to have a period of dormancy, whereas, say, the giant crab in summer hasn't shown up again."

[notinflictthem]

"Oh! Well in that case, I think I can wiggle my morals to not include giant crabs. Go ahead, I'll see if there's any Old Bay and butter lying around."

A more serious nod, "I appreciate it, though. I prefer not getting eaten while I work."

By tradition I declare: damn OCs and their one-liners

[restingslasherface]

"It's not an ideal workplace event! I'm sorry you've also been through it!"

[notinflictthem]

"They should really get the union onto it. I mean, sutures are hard enough without being attacked by giant moths."

[restingslasherface]

"Union?" The Notebook - no, not that one, a different one - comes out, and Jean starts paging through it. "I don't have an organization under that name recorded..."

Their eyes keep flicking from the notebook to Hawkeye. Jean is not insignificantly distressed at the idea that they've missed something this obvious.

[notinflictthem]

"Oh- uh, you know, unions. They're uh-" just takes a quick glance over his shoulder to check for Uncle Sam.

"Like a group of people in a company or a workplace. You pay your dues, and then everyone stands up together against your bosses. If the boss tries to fire me because he doesn't like my attitude or something, the union can threaten to have everyone walk out unless he keeps me on. If people think they're getting stiffed- underpaid, I mean- then together they take an offer to the boss's table, and if the boss doesn't like it, they all refuse to work. That sort of thing."

[restingslasherface]

"Oh wow!" Beat. Jean frowns. Frowns further. An expression of Genuine Concern steals over them, and then in a very small voice they ask: "How do you prevent the retaliatory massacre?"