The bathroom tiles were cool against my hand

[notinflictthem]

CHARACTERS: Hawkeye and you! Yes, you!
DATE: November
LOCATION: Hawkeye’s Clinic
SITUATION: Settling in, making waves, shaking hands, making friends
WARNINGS: Blanket warning that war and injury may come up

Press my corpse against the wall

Hawkeye wakes up to sunlight instead of Radar yelling for helicopters. He has his coffee unhurried, plans out his day. No Frank to yell at him for not shaving, but no Trap to chew the fat with, either. Nobody to complain with about breakfast. It’s too quiet. If he doesn’t see a human person in the next hour, he’s going to start gnawing his own limbs off.

So from about 8am-6pm, the clinic is staffed. The sign out the front reads ‘Hawkeye’s Clinic, happy hour 6-7pm’, and underneath that, more recently, a smaller sign reads ‘100% satisfaction rate; just ask the survivors!’
Inside, Hawkeye is either cleaning, running his tabletop still for alcohol to disinfect with (or drink), or organising his small array of client notes.

I told the band to leave without me

If you actually visit during the signposted happy hour, the table in the middle of the clinic has a tablecloth draped over it, and Hawkeye stands there polishing the couple of glasses he owns. Someone should get him some decent barware. There’s a couple of stools, and he grins as you enter. He’s playing bartender. Indulge him?

I'll get the next flight

After happy hour, the ‘bar’ gets packed up and the clinic gets scrubbed down. If you’ve got a standing invitation for cards, a date, or just want to check in on him off-hours, this is the time to do it. Find him out on his front doorstep with his nose in a book, leaning out the window with a martini in hand and watching the street, or doing something upstairs, the sound of a pleasant baritone muddling through something jazzy.

And if I make it to the mornin' (wildcard)

(Hit me!)

Comments

[restingslasherface]

"Oh! I didn't! My apologies!" Jean bows, one hand over their chest, comes back up still smilin' that slasher smile. "Currently I serve aboard the Copper Coin as a fisherman! But in terms of the overall project I'm part of the combat team. Please don't hesitate to call me for your protection or anyone else's, or to..."

"...Discourage something intractable."

[notinflictthem]

"So that's the smell I smelled when you walked in. At ease," he waves the bow off, "we don't do formal here."

Hawkeye also waves off the offer, saying-

"First do no harm also covers 'first don't ask other people to do harm'. Not my style, sorry."

[restingslasherface]

"...First do no harm? It sounds like some kind of company policy but..."

Jean is trying to square it but they're still not at a point where they can conceive of pacifism.

[notinflictthem]

"It's the Hippocratic oath. Old thing that doctors have to swear on. Well- 'first do no harm' isn't on there, technically, but the idea is there. Don't abuse your position, don't do anything to your patients without reason, don't cut into anything that doesn't need cutting into, brotherhood with your fellow doctors. All of that. Point is, I swore when I became a doctor that I wouldn't end a human life on purpose, and I plan to stick to that."

[restingslasherface]

In an awed whisper: "Wow..."

They're a hot second shaking that off but clarification does eventually arrive in the form of: "I'd admittedly had my thoughts closer to the Pine Devil than humans! But I think I understand...and I can respect it."

[notinflictthem]

...

"What's a pine devil?"

[restingslasherface]

"A gigantic, winged, goat-like night predator that feeds on offal! It's been attacking people. However big you're thinking, bigger - it looms over even Doctor First Aid."

[notinflictthem]

"And the connection between it and the Hippocratic oath is...?"

[restingslasherface]

"Well...I suppose I'm not explaining my thought process very well..." Jean kinda. Gestures. It's not manic, just vague and confused. "What I meant is that my offer of protection was made with the monsters of the island in mind; actively hostile forces, many of which appear to be animals! The Pine Devil came to mind because unlike many it doesn't seem to have a period of dormancy, whereas, say, the giant crab in summer hasn't shown up again."

[notinflictthem]

"Oh! Well in that case, I think I can wiggle my morals to not include giant crabs. Go ahead, I'll see if there's any Old Bay and butter lying around."

A more serious nod, "I appreciate it, though. I prefer not getting eaten while I work."

By tradition I declare: damn OCs and their one-liners

[restingslasherface]

"It's not an ideal workplace event! I'm sorry you've also been through it!"

[notinflictthem]

"They should really get the union onto it. I mean, sutures are hard enough without being attacked by giant moths."

[restingslasherface]

"Union?" The Notebook - no, not that one, a different one - comes out, and Jean starts paging through it. "I don't have an organization under that name recorded..."

Their eyes keep flicking from the notebook to Hawkeye. Jean is not insignificantly distressed at the idea that they've missed something this obvious.

[notinflictthem]

"Oh- uh, you know, unions. They're uh-" just takes a quick glance over his shoulder to check for Uncle Sam.

"Like a group of people in a company or a workplace. You pay your dues, and then everyone stands up together against your bosses. If the boss tries to fire me because he doesn't like my attitude or something, the union can threaten to have everyone walk out unless he keeps me on. If people think they're getting stiffed- underpaid, I mean- then together they take an offer to the boss's table, and if the boss doesn't like it, they all refuse to work. That sort of thing."

[restingslasherface]

"Oh wow!" Beat. Jean frowns. Frowns further. An expression of Genuine Concern steals over them, and then in a very small voice they ask: "How do you prevent the retaliatory massacre?"

[notinflictthem]

"Ask the miners, generally you don't."

Haha, ha, yeah.

"Back home, anything west of bootlicking for your bosses gets you suspected of being a Communist. I mean- unionising is protected and all, but you're not meant to be too enthusiastic about it, you get me? The government gets spooked real easily, some senators especially. The way they talk about it, you'd think Communists were termites, trying to eat at the foundations of every American home. That's why I built mine out of bricks."

[restingslasherface]

What the fuck is a government.

"That's not ideal...but! Haha! The locals don't have the firepower to stop such unions here!!"

[notinflictthem]

"That they don't."

This feels like it's going to be dangerous but it is also unequivocally not Hawkeye's problem anymore.

"Go forth, comrade, you have nothing to lose but your chains!"

[restingslasherface]

"Zelda says things like that a lot! I'll ask her about this union concept - she's much better at organizing. Good luck, Doctor Pierce! I look forward to working with you!"

[notinflictthem]

"If you ever get dented up, come see me. I do two-for-one deals on appendectomies, and 10% off if you refer a friend."

And he sees Jean off with a little tinkling wave.