We're Being Very General Today

[batteryacid]

Who: Eddie Kaspbrak & [ANYONE]
What: day to day stuff
When: general October/November timeframe
Where: Eddie's farm, out and about in town
Warnings: death (assisted suicide, vampire engages in blood drinking)

EDIT (11/10): Extending this log into November because these general prompts are still good



Food Isn't Going to Grow Itself
Eddie's day is pretty full with working on the farm. This is most likely the place that you will find him, just by virtue of the fact that it's a full time job and where he lives.

If he invited you over, feel free to just swing by! Wanna chat? No problem! Feel a need to call him out about something he did? Go for it!

You're being chased by a monster in the woods and need a safe haven? That's why he keeps a lantern by the front gate. (There's a wooden sign painted with "E. Kaspbrak Farm" also on the gate, but that wouldn't be visible in the dark...)

This is most likely where you'll find him unless you've invited him elsewhere.

Been Hanging Around This Town
To be fair, Eddie isn't a total recluse, and you stand a decent chance of catching him in town -- especially in the evenings, before full dark has fallen.

For anyone who wouldn't want to -- or wouldn't be able to -- make a trek out to Northwest Hollow and his farm, he sometimes does sword-training with River at the Festival Green.

He might be at the tavern or some other venue where Grace Holloway is giving a performance, just enjoying the vibes.

Or hell, maybe you caught him on a daytime visit to the shopping district. That's a possibility. He does chat with the tailors a lot -- he's probably going to end up doing as they suggest, and grow flax come springtime.

Wildcard
Anything else you can think of, and probably also for fallout from other October events!

****


[Locked to Angel] - Gotta Feel Your Feelings

After a talk with Cecil, Eddie shows up at Angel's townhouse. He knocks on the door and waits for a response.

He's not supposed to be alone with his grief, for his lost friend (lost friends, really, for all that the others still live). Eddie thinks maybe that's why he hasn't been able to feel it, has been pushing it away and back and just telling himself 'not now'. It's not the sort of grief that you fall into without a hand to help you back out.

****

[Locked to Erik] - Assistance Needed
The advertisement is placed on the community bulletin board like any other request.

Assistance Needed in Planned Death (As Soon As Possible)

Anyone with ideas for a relatively painless and least traumatic method of death is welcome to share them with Eddie Kaspbrak. Willingness to actually carry out said method would be appreciated.
Reasoning to be shared with those who respond in person. Please visit E. Kaspbrak Farm, Northwest Hollow.

And below the printed words, there is an additional handwritten note: Yes, I am aware that death is temporary here, I wouldn't be asking if it were otherwise. Serious inquiries only!

****

Comments

[graveling]

"Okay. Right. I can take care of you, that's not a problem at all." No hesitation, just a vague air of determination.

He's going to get a good grade in taking care, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve!

"Need held first or to be fed, first?"

[batteryacid]

"...I think probably held first. And I'd like to talk about Stan... even if it's going to make me cry..." Eddie asks, a little uncertainly, "Will that be okay?"

[graveling]

"I'm glad you're not going to be crying alone. Yeah, I'm here, and definitely okay letting you talk." Angel ushers Eddie over toward the bed. He doesn't have a couch, so all the cuddling's been in bed at his place. Which is fine, it's practical.

[batteryacid]

Sure, practical. Eddie removes his shoes and his belt -- bad idea to lie down on the knife, after all -- and crawls into the bed at Angel's direction. A little bit of the tension in him eases when Eddie can curl up next to Angel.

"I miss them all," Eddie says softly, "all my friends. But... Stan is dead like me, and he's not here, and I just feel so guilty. Why did I get offered the chance to be here, and he didn't?"

[graveling]

"You know I don't have an answer to that, but you also know you didn't have any influence in whether he got the chance or not. And...to be logical for a moment, you don't know if he got the chance. You just know if he did, he didn't take it."

That might not be the right thing to say. He's not sure what the right thing to say is.

[batteryacid]

"I know," Eddie says quietly. "My brain knows it, but my heart doesn't believe it."

He closes his eyes in a bid to gather his thoughts, and starts speaking before he opens them again. "He was the youngest of us. For most of that summer, the rest of us were twelve, going on thirteen. But he was eleven... I feel like we should have done something to protect him, even if -- in a just world -- there should have been someone to protect us." Eddie's voice wavers. "But the world isn't just...

"The world's got no justice when a kid can think his parents don't love him the same because a monster in the sewers killed his little brother, and then they actually love him less. The world's got no justice when the only thing a boy's got to protect him from bein' eaten by a monster is his faith in... in fuckin' birds!" Eddie's voice cracks, and the tears come -- a hot, silent flood. Eddie's hands clutch at Angel, he hides his face against Angel, and he cries.

[graveling]

“The world isn’t just. The world isn’t just. Your world, mine. This one, either. There is no justice, but. We can do what we can. For one another.”

Angel holds Eddie tight, rubbing his back. Being the solid thing, because that’s what he’s good at. He doesn’t even know if he can cry, he doesn’t know how it feels, but it sounds absolutely horrible.

[batteryacid]

"It's not fair!" Eddie weeps, even as some detached part of him knows it's stupid to even say. "He was just a kid! We were all kids, and we got pushed into fighting that fucking clown all by ourselves. And even that wasn't enough! Die and s-stay clean, or live and get dirty... and Stan... he h-hated to be dirty..."

No, it's not supposed to make sense. It's all jumbled up for Eddie anyway -- memories of childhood that have been so faded for years all in sudden, jagged relief; sitting with the others swapping stories of then and now; and under it all the horror that he's just been shoving down as hard as he could.

"She always said 'your friends' like she thought it was a lie, and it wasn't! Ma, she... she h-hated my friends, called them all awful th-things... she hated everybody for something and wanted me scared, and I should have stood up to her --" Another sob cuts him off.

[graveling]

“She isn’t here, and I know it’s not a lie. They were your friends. Are your friends. You have friends and they’re real. And I’d take being hated by your ma a million times, to have you here with me.”

Angel nuzzles against Eddie’s cheek, trying to help him focus with physical sensation.

“You are a good friend, and I hope you know that.”

CW: slurs (thanks, Eddie's mom...)

[batteryacid]

When Angel nuzzles Eddie's cheek, he brings a hand up to rest on the back of Angel's neck. Just touching, holding lightly.

Eddie's tone is bitter, full of resentment toward Sonia Kaspbrak. "She'd probably call you a queer trying to corrupt me. And it'd be an insult coming from her. She called Stan awful names and 'Jewboy' was the least of them. She didn't like Ben because he was fat, or Mike because he was black. She always looked at Beverly like she was trash, and said Richie was a bad influence. And she had nothing to really criticize Bill for, so she would bring up his stutter.

"I hate her. I hate that I believed her at all, even when I was a little kid. I hate that there's part of me that still wants to appease her. And I feel so guilty for it all." Eddie curls up against Angel, arms moving to wrap around him in an embrace. "You can't forgive me for it. And I can't ask any of them, especially Stan, to forgive me anymore..."

He just can't stop crying.

[graveling]

Angel realizes this is not the time to ask what a queer is. He does, however, heard the wretched guilt and pain in Eddie’s voice, and holds tighter.

“I think…you may need to figure out what it’s going to take to forgive yourself. What you need here, to do better.”

[batteryacid]

"I don't know how... I don't..." Eddie whimpers wordlessly, unable to vocalize the emotional pain any other way. "I don't want to talk anymore. Please. Just hold me for now?"

[graveling]

"Of course. I've got you."

Like duct tape, like bungee cords, Angel tries very, very hard to be the thing holding Eddie together, so he doesn't fall into pieces completely. There's more gentle forehead kisses, some soft wordless murmuring. An outpouring of love that can only be delivered directly like this.

[batteryacid]

To be entirely honest, Angel doesn't have to put a lot of effort into holding Eddie together. Just being close by would be enough.

Not to say that the gentle sounds and the soft kisses to his forehead are unappreciated, of course. Eddie's tears eventually do slow down, and he reciprocates the contact by stroking a hand along Angel's back.

And when Eddie does speak again, he talks about Stan. Not his guilt around Stan's death, but little things, stories about when they were children -- Eddie trying to bird watch alongside Stan but never being the first to spot them... Stan helping Eddie with the soapbox racer than Eddie dreamed of taking to Bangor, Maine to compete. (That was a dream that went unfulfilled, but whether or not he actually ever raced it properly never seemed to matter on those afternoons.) Eddie talks about how they were alike, the fastidious ones of the group, and how they both shadowed Richie -- the loudmouth, the talker -- and would occasionally break through his mile-a-minute jokes with zingers of their own.

"...I wish I'd remembered them sooner," Eddie mumbles tiredly. "I wish I'd been allowed to remember them..."

[graveling]

"They sound like good friends to have had. All of them."

There's a terrible ember of jealousy that he carefully keeps buried when Eddie talks about childhood. Angel never got one of those, or things like childhood friends, and he probably had to ask what a soapbox racer was. But that's all buried well under the surface, his eyes and stony face betraying none of it.

"I'm going to go get you water. Alright? And maybe a cloth to wipe your face."

[batteryacid]

Eddie nods in response to Angel's comment about his childhood friends being good friends.

"Okay." When Angel gets up from the bed, but before he leaves the room, Eddie says softly, "You're a good friend too, Angel. I... I'm really lucky to have you."

[graveling]

"No. No, I'm the lucky one."

He flashes a smile, before stepping out to grab supplies. Towel, glass of water, scrap of clean cloth to clean Eddie's glasses for him. It's a moment longer before he returns, slotting himself back in where he belongs.

[batteryacid]

When Angel comes back, Eddie is sitting up. He takes off his glasses and mops at his tear-stained face first thing. (A good opportunity to take the glasses and clean them off with that cloth...) Then he accepts that glass of water, waiting until Angel is next to him and leaning against Angel as he drinks.

"Can we agree that we're both lucky?" Eddie wonders. He sets aside the glass and then squeezes Angel in a hug. "...Just being around you makes me feel... better. Settled and happy."

[graveling]

"Well, you can be around me whenever you'd like. I mean, besides when I'm at work. But. I like knowing I make you happy. You make me happy, too. A lot." He knows better, now, than to stray into trying to dissect and define this. It's happy. It's good.

It would be enough.

[batteryacid]

"I'm glad that I make you happy."

Angel and Eddie can define their relationship at a later point. Eddie wants to figure things out. When Eddie has a chance to talk with someone outside of this, he'll be better equipped to actually talk and not so much panic. (Maybe Gerry? Eddie and Gerry have similar backgrounds, an ease with which they relate to each other, and Gerry is yet another person from the future.)

For now though...

"I feel so tired," Eddie admits. It's no surprise, with all the crying he's done, that big release after holding his emotions in so long. He yawns, and rests his head against Angel's shoulder. "I always seem to fall asleep on you. You are comfy."

[graveling]

"Would you rather I was sleeping with you instead?"

He does, honestly and truly, mean sleeping. He isn't wholly incapable of it, it's just. He doesn't need to and has a strong tendency toward nightmares.

[batteryacid]

Eddie knows full well that Angel means literal sleeping, but that doesn't stop the brief laugh that bursts out of him. And if there's a slight edge of bitterness to Eddie's laugh, it's directed at himself and not Angel.

What he says, though, is a simple, "I thought you get nightmares when you sleep."

[graveling]

"I do. I almost always have. But maybe it won't be so bad, if I'm not alone? Maybe." Angel doesn't know what to make of that laugh, ducking his head, glancing at his and Eddie's intertwined hands.

[batteryacid]

"If you want to sleep here with me," Eddie says softly, "I'll be right beside you when you wake up. If you have a nightmare, I'll remind you it isn't real, and I am."

Eddie squeezes Angel's hand lightly... and then gathers his courage, and kisses Angel on the cheek.

"I'm here for you, too. Support goes both ways."

[graveling]

“Alright. Then, I think I’d like to try it, just…just to see. To know.”

He gently tangles his feet with Eddie’s and stretched out more on the bed.