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ph_logs2025-02-15 09:27 pm
pumpkinhollow) wrote in ph_logs2025-02-15 09:27 pm
February Event - Garden of Woe [Merrymeet]
**Plain text version here.
As night begins to fall, the afternoon band is finally given time to rest and retire to the party themselves, intended to be replaced by a Council-approved evening band. However, said musical group is waylaid on their way to the stage, and replaced with an act far stranger.
On the left part of the stage, a man with pipes embedded in his chest begins to sing a low note, accompanied by a deep, rich harmony as though his chest were a pipe organ. Perhaps it is. On the right side, an older man who almost looks human, save for the exposed “ribcage” full of harpstrings. And at the front, a pale woman dressed all in white with a veil covering all but her mouth, who sings like an angel over the music of her companions. The man in charge and his large sitar are conspicuously absent.
When Sonata begins to sing, two things begin to happen. The first is that black, thorny vines emerge from the slumbering ground, encasing the performers in thick foliage with gaps only big enough for the sound of their music to escape, and thorns big enough to ward off any interruptions. The second is that anyone who can hear the music will find that the sound floods their mind with memories of grief, pain, loss, and loneliness. So intense are these memories and emotions that even the most strong-willed can barely keep from weeping, with only a few exceptions.
Those with protection from demons will find their suffering great, but not debilitating, and Father Mulcahy’s boon from Mortanne and personal experience combined are enough to offset the more soul-crushing effects of the somber music. However, these things alone will not be enough. With the infernal band protected, the Domain of Sorrow’s Song will continue leeching anguish from the party-goers for their master for as long as they can. The only way to combat them is to cut off their source of power through self-imposed joy--- a challenging task, given the situation.
Luckily, a friend from outside the barrier interested in helping his daughter has sent some friends to help you get started.
The butterflies swarm together, forming the shape of a person, and from the flock emerges a strange man. With chitinous hands and a face covered in dark pink wings, he steps free of the fluttering mass and onto a stump, wearing long fur robes, and he smiles a toothy smile.
“Hello there, Bizzyboys! I am King Olwylder, Archfae of the Court of Red Butterflies,” he says with a sweeping bow. Then, he leaps down from his makeshift stage, his own enormous wings splayed out behind him. He lands crouching, diminishing his impressive height to get onto their level. “I have a very important favor to ask you.”
“You see, some old friends of yours, as well as my beloved daughter Elsie, have been caught up in a bit of trouble. I need you to go to a little town called Pumpkin Hollow for the evening and help them out. Afterwards, you can stay there a while, or not, if you prefer. But during the flower festival they have going on, I need you five little darlings to do me a very, very important favor, and do what you do best. I need you to solve a mystery. Can you help me?”
Once all five Bizzyboys have agreed, Olwylder shakes each of their fuzzy hands and thanks them profusely, covering their red uniforms in pink flowers before sending them on their very merry way. They ride to Pumpkin Hollow on the back of a black horse, driven by a man with no head, and fan out in search of their old bosses as well as Olwylder’s daughter.
The five original Bizzyboys, played as guest NPCs, arrive at Merrymeet just before the band begins to play, and are immune to all of its effects due to the blessing of King Olwylder and sheer adorable whimsy. Threading with one of them can help you acquire the self-made fun you need to break the spell yourself, which you can then spread to others! These delightful shenanigans have been graciously provided by five helpful players, so please thank Liz, Sid, Mira, Maniette, and Kai for their assistance in making the magic happen! Once the event ends, it will be up to each player whether their Bizzyboy remains in PH or heads back home.
GARDEN OF WOE
To Meet is Merry...
It’s a beautiful day. Normally Merrymeet is held a tad later in the month, but thanks to some predictions from Phil, the festival planning committee managed to snag a date right in the middle of a patch of lovely warm days. A false spring --- there would be another snow by the following week. But it’s the first hint of a true spring waiting in the wings. The sun is shining, the grass on the festival green is slowly waking up, snowdrop flowers wobble in the breeze, and the weather is approaching something akin to balmy. It's as if Celestine herself carried in her opposite-most sister on a warm breeze, just for today.
Partygoers trickle in from all sides, gathering at the Festival Green. Each and every soul is dressed in their spring finest. And when Juniper Sweetwater once again ascends the steps to the gazebo, the crowd falls silent. The procession is about to begin.
Short on Brass? Drop by Gourd en Glace before the event and grab yourself a sundae and bring it up to Venka Meridell, the proprietor who also happens to be the local tailor’s daughter. She’ll slip you a coupon for a half-price Merrymeet outfit if you’re willing to taste test one of her unorthodox new ice cream flavors. Her mother, Saraya, will begrudgingly accept these coupons. [Mod Note: Please only take this option if you have 500B or less in your ledger, we are trying to get some of these rich-ass characters to spend their damn money!]
Once you’re all dressed to the nines, please feel free to use the code below to show off your drip in the Fashion Show thread!
Then, the procession begins in earnest as each member of the Floral Court (Valdis, Ylva, Margaret, Lyubov, CT, Alice, Fever, Magne, Olivia, Anya, and Helena) is escorted through the festival green and up to the gazebo. Standing at the top of the short flight of gazebo stairs is Juniper Sweetwater, a poised and delicate Wood Elf with pale brown hair. Gracing each pair with a greeting of “hail and merry meet”, she places a small ring of flowers upon the brow of each member of the court, and hands each one a matching boutonniere or corsage to bestow upon her plus-one. Juniper lets each pair file into the gazebo to take their seats.
Then some of the other leading ladies arrive and do much the same--- first, Drelasa, who won third place, and then Elsie and Sally, who tied for second. Behind them is Sally’s toddler Gwen, who is “escorted” (carried) by her older brother Yellow, both of whom are invited to join as special guests. Juniper takes a moment to bestow each of the women with a slightly larger crown, and a bouquet decorated with a ribbon indicating their place and a brass or silver charm as a token of their achievement.
Finally, the last to enter is the Flower Queen herself. The music swells as this year’s Queen, Dahlia Leeds, is escorted by her Courtier, Radar O’Reilly. A murmur sweeps over the onlooking crowd of surprise and excitement as Dahlia proceeds through the parted crowd. Once one of the most beloved people in town, Dahlia has barely been seen outside her home since her fall from grace at her birthday gala. And when she has, she’s looked sallow and miserable, a husk of herself. And yet here, today, she looks utterly radiant--- aside from the fact that she is very obviously weeping, utterly overcome with emotion at the fact that so many of her neighbors and friends still accept her. Tears of surprise, joy, relief, and gratitude pour down her face in thick streams that she cannot contain as she makes her way down the aisle with Radar, both of them dressed ornately in delicate blue.
The pair are showered with flower petals as they follow the winding trail, applauded quietly by festival goers before they reach Juniper. Fluidly, she swaps places with Dahlia so that the new Flower Queen is the one stood at the top of the stairs and the prior is on the ground.
“Hail and merry meet.” Juniper curtsies. “Today, just as I was two years ago, you have been chosen by the people of our town to be the Flower Queen. It is my honor to present you with gifts befitting a queen.”
Another townsperson passes her a basket, which Juniper presents to Dahlia. It contains a number of spring-themed treats--- honey harvested from last spring’s flowers, a bottle of specially crafted sweet festival wine to be consumed on the summer solstice, a candle embedded with dried flowers, a blend of lavender and bergamot tea, a charming floral soap, and a necklace with a pressed forget-me-not inside a clear pendant. There is also a medal hanging around the wine bottle shaped like an orchid bloom, engraved on the back with text. “Flower Queen 16:55 - Pumpkin Hollow - Dahlia Anastasia Leeds”. Juniper then passes the somewhat heavy basket off to Radar to carry--- after all, it’s the Courtier’s job to attend to the Queen!
Then, Juniper pins a boutonniere to Radar’s lapel, and beneath it, a medal of his own. “Floral Courtier - 16:55 - Radar O’Reilly”.
“With this sprig of Serannai’s glory, I bestow upon you the honored duty of Courtier to the Flower Queen. Assist her as she needs and ensure that she spends this day as free and joyful as a spring breeze.”
Lastly, Juniper turns back to Dahlia and takes up a crown of flowers, larger and more elaborate than the others, holding it aloft for a moment before resting it upon Dahlia’ss head.
“With this crown, I pass my title on to you. May it bring you felicity and fortune, so that you may share it with the earth as you put seed to soil.”
Before letting them go, Juniper leans in, beaming and grasping Dahlia’s hand tightly with the warmth of someone who has known her their whole life, and whispers, “Congratulations!” Then, she takes a step back, hurrying delightedly off into the crowd, leaving Dahlia to stand and look over the crowd of her friends, her neighbors, her loved ones, so many of whom have still chosen to embrace her. For a moment, all she can do is stand in awe.
Applause rings out over the crowd, music swells once more, and Merrymeet officially begins. Congratulations to Dahlia, and all the members of the Floral Court!
And while there is wine being passed around the table, there is also tea. But this isn’t just any tea, and these aren’t just any tea pots. The pots are clear glass, surrounded by ornate silver fixtures, so that you can see the color of the tea and the leaves steeping within. Some are regular tea leaves rolling around in ball strainers while others are blooming floral teas perched in the center of the pots. And best of all, these teapots are enchanted courtesy of Dr. West, looking like chubby little tea puppies walking around on four short metal legs. They meander around between dishes on the tables, bumbling up to partygoers to offer their contents and tipping forward with surprising grace to pour tea into cups. They are helpfully labeled with tags tied to their handles, explaining what they contain.
While a few contain typical tea blends, others are marked as containing enchanted teas, provided by Aeryn Sallek. The enchanted blends are as follows:
Party Enhancer - An energizing and sweet lemon hibiscus tea that makes the drinker able to dance longer, sing louder, eat more, and worry less. Turn down your inhibition and turn up the fun! This is a great tea for people who want a little party boost without getting drunk.
Liquid Courage - Feeling too shy to dance? Nervous about asking that beautiful person to spend the day with you? Want to go for that first kiss but struggling to work up the nerve? This smooth lavender black tea will help!
Romance Reagent - For those looking to be a little more flirty or emotionally open, this rose milk tea has a higher concentration of the “emotional acuity” potion to help you be open with your true feelings and get your cuddle on. And this denser dose of potion will even have the added effect of making you a little more suave, as well.
Sultry Spice - For those looking to find someone nice and invite them somewhere more private. This warming apple spice tea literally just has a mild aphrodisiac in it.
Enjoy any of these with your meal to turn up the mood! While these teas are clearly labeled, it's up to you whether or not you actually read them. Accidents can happen!
Eating isn’t all there is to do, of course. The other primary activity is dancing!
Local musicians will be playing throughout the day for group and couple’s dances, including a local partner dance called the Sunrise Waltz and a classic maypole dance. Feel free to dance the afternoon away with partners, friends, new acquaintances, and more!
There’s also areas to catch your breath and chat with friends, a chocolate dipping station, flower sprouts in tiny pots as party favors, flower garland braiding areas, and plenty of wine! Additionally, there are a few flower-filled tents on the festival green with private seating areas for couples to catch a few moments alone. You’re not supposed to, but if you’re quiet and don’t mind a bit of risk, it wouldn’t be hard to sneak a little naughty fun into your day in these little tents.
And of course, there is the planting ceremony later in the day, so feel free to join Dahlia and Juniper at the edge of the green for this short tradition! With an apron thrown over her dress and a short spade, Dahlia takes a moment out of the festivities to plant a tulip bulb in a half-empty row near the gazebo, right next to the one Mary Dahl planted the year prior, and Juniper herself the year before that.
Partygoers trickle in from all sides, gathering at the Festival Green. Each and every soul is dressed in their spring finest. And when Juniper Sweetwater once again ascends the steps to the gazebo, the crowd falls silent. The procession is about to begin.
Dress to Impress
Generally speaking, the dress code for Merrymeet is garden party formalwear. Appropriate outfits can fall anywhere in the Classic or Lavish categories. Characters here less than 2 months are able to get free rentals if they’d like, but can buy their outfit if they wish. Everyone else is asked to please purchase their outfit (from 300-500B, depending upon complexity).Short on Brass? Drop by Gourd en Glace before the event and grab yourself a sundae and bring it up to Venka Meridell, the proprietor who also happens to be the local tailor’s daughter. She’ll slip you a coupon for a half-price Merrymeet outfit if you’re willing to taste test one of her unorthodox new ice cream flavors. Her mother, Saraya, will begrudgingly accept these coupons. [Mod Note: Please only take this option if you have 500B or less in your ledger, we are trying to get some of these rich-ass characters to spend their damn money!]
Once you’re all dressed to the nines, please feel free to use the code below to show off your drip in the Fashion Show thread!
Crowning of the Flower Queen
Once Mayor Poe gives the signal, a band begins to play, signalling the entrance of the Floral Court. A hush falls over the crowd as they watch the nominees enter, one at a time and escorted by their chosen companion. Many beloved community figured were nominated this time, and competition was stiff--- the crowd is eager to see who is named their Flower Queen.Then, the procession begins in earnest as each member of the Floral Court (Valdis, Ylva, Margaret, Lyubov, CT, Alice, Fever, Magne, Olivia, Anya, and Helena) is escorted through the festival green and up to the gazebo. Standing at the top of the short flight of gazebo stairs is Juniper Sweetwater, a poised and delicate Wood Elf with pale brown hair. Gracing each pair with a greeting of “hail and merry meet”, she places a small ring of flowers upon the brow of each member of the court, and hands each one a matching boutonniere or corsage to bestow upon her plus-one. Juniper lets each pair file into the gazebo to take their seats.
Then some of the other leading ladies arrive and do much the same--- first, Drelasa, who won third place, and then Elsie and Sally, who tied for second. Behind them is Sally’s toddler Gwen, who is “escorted” (carried) by her older brother Yellow, both of whom are invited to join as special guests. Juniper takes a moment to bestow each of the women with a slightly larger crown, and a bouquet decorated with a ribbon indicating their place and a brass or silver charm as a token of their achievement.
Finally, the last to enter is the Flower Queen herself. The music swells as this year’s Queen, Dahlia Leeds, is escorted by her Courtier, Radar O’Reilly. A murmur sweeps over the onlooking crowd of surprise and excitement as Dahlia proceeds through the parted crowd. Once one of the most beloved people in town, Dahlia has barely been seen outside her home since her fall from grace at her birthday gala. And when she has, she’s looked sallow and miserable, a husk of herself. And yet here, today, she looks utterly radiant--- aside from the fact that she is very obviously weeping, utterly overcome with emotion at the fact that so many of her neighbors and friends still accept her. Tears of surprise, joy, relief, and gratitude pour down her face in thick streams that she cannot contain as she makes her way down the aisle with Radar, both of them dressed ornately in delicate blue.
The pair are showered with flower petals as they follow the winding trail, applauded quietly by festival goers before they reach Juniper. Fluidly, she swaps places with Dahlia so that the new Flower Queen is the one stood at the top of the stairs and the prior is on the ground.
“Hail and merry meet.” Juniper curtsies. “Today, just as I was two years ago, you have been chosen by the people of our town to be the Flower Queen. It is my honor to present you with gifts befitting a queen.”
Another townsperson passes her a basket, which Juniper presents to Dahlia. It contains a number of spring-themed treats--- honey harvested from last spring’s flowers, a bottle of specially crafted sweet festival wine to be consumed on the summer solstice, a candle embedded with dried flowers, a blend of lavender and bergamot tea, a charming floral soap, and a necklace with a pressed forget-me-not inside a clear pendant. There is also a medal hanging around the wine bottle shaped like an orchid bloom, engraved on the back with text. “Flower Queen 16:55 - Pumpkin Hollow - Dahlia Anastasia Leeds”. Juniper then passes the somewhat heavy basket off to Radar to carry--- after all, it’s the Courtier’s job to attend to the Queen!
Then, Juniper pins a boutonniere to Radar’s lapel, and beneath it, a medal of his own. “Floral Courtier - 16:55 - Radar O’Reilly”.
“With this sprig of Serannai’s glory, I bestow upon you the honored duty of Courtier to the Flower Queen. Assist her as she needs and ensure that she spends this day as free and joyful as a spring breeze.”
Lastly, Juniper turns back to Dahlia and takes up a crown of flowers, larger and more elaborate than the others, holding it aloft for a moment before resting it upon Dahlia’ss head.
“With this crown, I pass my title on to you. May it bring you felicity and fortune, so that you may share it with the earth as you put seed to soil.”
Before letting them go, Juniper leans in, beaming and grasping Dahlia’s hand tightly with the warmth of someone who has known her their whole life, and whispers, “Congratulations!” Then, she takes a step back, hurrying delightedly off into the crowd, leaving Dahlia to stand and look over the crowd of her friends, her neighbors, her loved ones, so many of whom have still chosen to embrace her. For a moment, all she can do is stand in awe.
Applause rings out over the crowd, music swells once more, and Merrymeet officially begins. Congratulations to Dahlia, and all the members of the Floral Court!
Eat, Drink, Be Merry!
It doesn’t take long for lunch to be brought out, courtesy of some helpful volunteers and the Oak & Iron’s diligent cooking staff. Salads full of spring greens, fresh bread with herbs baked in, puff pastries with fresh cheese and asparagus, egg tarts, chicken sandwiches, and crispy little hashbrowns formed into cups to look like bird nests, each with a devilled egg sitting inside. There are also dozens of little desserts made with flowers and spring berries, like cakes and custards, and even heart-shaped macarons.And while there is wine being passed around the table, there is also tea. But this isn’t just any tea, and these aren’t just any tea pots. The pots are clear glass, surrounded by ornate silver fixtures, so that you can see the color of the tea and the leaves steeping within. Some are regular tea leaves rolling around in ball strainers while others are blooming floral teas perched in the center of the pots. And best of all, these teapots are enchanted courtesy of Dr. West, looking like chubby little tea puppies walking around on four short metal legs. They meander around between dishes on the tables, bumbling up to partygoers to offer their contents and tipping forward with surprising grace to pour tea into cups. They are helpfully labeled with tags tied to their handles, explaining what they contain.
While a few contain typical tea blends, others are marked as containing enchanted teas, provided by Aeryn Sallek. The enchanted blends are as follows:
Party Enhancer - An energizing and sweet lemon hibiscus tea that makes the drinker able to dance longer, sing louder, eat more, and worry less. Turn down your inhibition and turn up the fun! This is a great tea for people who want a little party boost without getting drunk.
Liquid Courage - Feeling too shy to dance? Nervous about asking that beautiful person to spend the day with you? Want to go for that first kiss but struggling to work up the nerve? This smooth lavender black tea will help!
Romance Reagent - For those looking to be a little more flirty or emotionally open, this rose milk tea has a higher concentration of the “emotional acuity” potion to help you be open with your true feelings and get your cuddle on. And this denser dose of potion will even have the added effect of making you a little more suave, as well.
Sultry Spice - For those looking to find someone nice and invite them somewhere more private. This warming apple spice tea literally just has a mild aphrodisiac in it.
Enjoy any of these with your meal to turn up the mood! While these teas are clearly labeled, it's up to you whether or not you actually read them. Accidents can happen!
Eating isn’t all there is to do, of course. The other primary activity is dancing!
Local musicians will be playing throughout the day for group and couple’s dances, including a local partner dance called the Sunrise Waltz and a classic maypole dance. Feel free to dance the afternoon away with partners, friends, new acquaintances, and more!
There’s also areas to catch your breath and chat with friends, a chocolate dipping station, flower sprouts in tiny pots as party favors, flower garland braiding areas, and plenty of wine! Additionally, there are a few flower-filled tents on the festival green with private seating areas for couples to catch a few moments alone. You’re not supposed to, but if you’re quiet and don’t mind a bit of risk, it wouldn’t be hard to sneak a little naughty fun into your day in these little tents.
And of course, there is the planting ceremony later in the day, so feel free to join Dahlia and Juniper at the edge of the green for this short tradition! With an apron thrown over her dress and a short spade, Dahlia takes a moment out of the festivities to plant a tulip bulb in a half-empty row near the gazebo, right next to the one Mary Dahl planted the year prior, and Juniper herself the year before that.
...But Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow
Ballad of the Damned
Would any event on a cursed island truly be complete without some sort of unscrupulous paranormal activity? Truly, nothing is sacred (except maybe the Dance of Celestine, once), as yet another of Dahlia’s infernal relatives arrives bearing “gifts” to put a damper on her special day.As night begins to fall, the afternoon band is finally given time to rest and retire to the party themselves, intended to be replaced by a Council-approved evening band. However, said musical group is waylaid on their way to the stage, and replaced with an act far stranger.
On the left part of the stage, a man with pipes embedded in his chest begins to sing a low note, accompanied by a deep, rich harmony as though his chest were a pipe organ. Perhaps it is. On the right side, an older man who almost looks human, save for the exposed “ribcage” full of harpstrings. And at the front, a pale woman dressed all in white with a veil covering all but her mouth, who sings like an angel over the music of her companions. The man in charge and his large sitar are conspicuously absent.
When Sonata begins to sing, two things begin to happen. The first is that black, thorny vines emerge from the slumbering ground, encasing the performers in thick foliage with gaps only big enough for the sound of their music to escape, and thorns big enough to ward off any interruptions. The second is that anyone who can hear the music will find that the sound floods their mind with memories of grief, pain, loss, and loneliness. So intense are these memories and emotions that even the most strong-willed can barely keep from weeping, with only a few exceptions.
Those with protection from demons will find their suffering great, but not debilitating, and Father Mulcahy’s boon from Mortanne and personal experience combined are enough to offset the more soul-crushing effects of the somber music. However, these things alone will not be enough. With the infernal band protected, the Domain of Sorrow’s Song will continue leeching anguish from the party-goers for their master for as long as they can. The only way to combat them is to cut off their source of power through self-imposed joy--- a challenging task, given the situation.
Luckily, a friend from outside the barrier interested in helping his daughter has sent some friends to help you get started.
March of the Bizzyboys
Five Drainfolk in red uniforms find themselves in a forest. Little teal-furred monkey-folk with long hair and longer tails stand amid pink trees and a gaggle of little fuschia butterflies. Their names are Vibiano, Grujaja, Bananathaniel, Alexei, and Patty--- mysteries, until recently, revealed a few letters at a time. The wind sings like bamboo wind chimes through the pastel branches.The butterflies swarm together, forming the shape of a person, and from the flock emerges a strange man. With chitinous hands and a face covered in dark pink wings, he steps free of the fluttering mass and onto a stump, wearing long fur robes, and he smiles a toothy smile.
“Hello there, Bizzyboys! I am King Olwylder, Archfae of the Court of Red Butterflies,” he says with a sweeping bow. Then, he leaps down from his makeshift stage, his own enormous wings splayed out behind him. He lands crouching, diminishing his impressive height to get onto their level. “I have a very important favor to ask you.”
“You see, some old friends of yours, as well as my beloved daughter Elsie, have been caught up in a bit of trouble. I need you to go to a little town called Pumpkin Hollow for the evening and help them out. Afterwards, you can stay there a while, or not, if you prefer. But during the flower festival they have going on, I need you five little darlings to do me a very, very important favor, and do what you do best. I need you to solve a mystery. Can you help me?”
Once all five Bizzyboys have agreed, Olwylder shakes each of their fuzzy hands and thanks them profusely, covering their red uniforms in pink flowers before sending them on their very merry way. They ride to Pumpkin Hollow on the back of a black horse, driven by a man with no head, and fan out in search of their old bosses as well as Olwylder’s daughter.
The five original Bizzyboys, played as guest NPCs, arrive at Merrymeet just before the band begins to play, and are immune to all of its effects due to the blessing of King Olwylder and sheer adorable whimsy. Threading with one of them can help you acquire the self-made fun you need to break the spell yourself, which you can then spread to others! These delightful shenanigans have been graciously provided by five helpful players, so please thank Liz, Sid, Mira, Maniette, and Kai for their assistance in making the magic happen! Once the event ends, it will be up to each player whether their Bizzyboy remains in PH or heads back home.
| CONTENT WARNINGS: altered states of consciousness, mildly dubious consent, grief, depression, mood control |
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"Okay! Cheer people up, find some weedkiller for the fighty guys, stand back and watch them kick some demon butt! I'm on the case!" And then she smiles at him shyly. "Let's try and find each other after it's all over, okay? Feels like we've got some catching up to do."
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And then she's off to do her thing, tail hooked proudly behind her.
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A wave of memories cuts through Capochin like a stiff winter breeze. Visions of a hundred other Bizzyboys trotting off to complete a task, head and tail held high with pride. Then the memories of that pride slowly fading, and the anger that took root, completely unaware that the anger is what caused that to happen.
Shit.
Capochin goes to his own work with helping people around the festival, checks in with Grujaja, and then at last meets up with Patty. Like the other Bizzyboy, he approaches with food in hand.
"Hey kid. Good woik out there. I figured you earned yaself some lunch." He holds up the plated sandwich and a glass of strawberry wine. "How'd everything go?"
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"Th' big boss did this for me! Isn't it pretty?"
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"Hector did that for ya?" Capochin chuckles. "He used to do that to me all da time. Before he ascended, sometimes we'd just be talkin' and he'd start braidin' my hair. That was back when I wore it in a ponytail mosta the time." A beat. "You woulda liked the old days, I think. Things were better."
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She eats her sammich first though, cause if she has to start yelling at him she doesn't wanna do it on an empty stomach. She hopes she won't! But if she's gotta, she's gotta.
"I think so too," she finally says. "Grujaja would tell me stories about them sometime, when me'n him were alone in the van. It sounded like things were pretty different back then." It sounded like a lot of things changed. Like maybe...Hector ascending wasn't just bad for him.
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Capochin stares down into his own drink, before setting it aside to light a cigarette. Nicotine is better suited to this job than alcohol, he thinks.
"When I met Hector, he was so... bright, y'know? I'd never met anyone in Drain who dared to have dreams. Couldn't find a damn job and his piece of shit old man was about to toss him on the street just to not hafta feed him anymore, eatin' cheap bodega snack cakes to cope with the stress, but still dreamin'. It meant somethin' to me. I couldn't stand to watch the dream die. So I supported him, and he--- gave my life meaning. We was the first two Bizzyboys. Then we met Paulie and Wally, a couple'a older guys who was retired by the time you joined, n' it just... took off. We built the headquarters building by hand, y'know. Once we finally made it topside. It was backbreaking work. Every night we'd just flop over into our cheap mattresses on the floor and pass out immediately. I ain't slept so hard since. And getting Hector elected, that was hard work too."
A long drag of his cigarette is exhaled into the twilight air as Capochin looks to the stars, foreign in their arrangement, recalling those days too.
"We became the peacekeepers of the Grove. Helpin' humans, helpin' gods. We was doin' good work, proud work, pullin' people outta drain and makin' lives better. When Hector got put up for election, there wasn't nobody who didn't think he deserved it. We campaigned day n' night, and we stayed up the whole night of the election to see the results. And you know what pulled him through? Drain. It took forever to get the votes from Drain, so they came in last, and it turned a close race into a landslide victory in a matter of hours. Our people were so damn proud of us. Proud of him! And I knew, even then, how he felt. How scared he was that none of it would mean anything. That his life would be a waste. He wanted a legacy so bad, and we were so sure this was it, that gettin' godhood would mean he wouldn't have to be scared no more. But... it didn't last."
"Even livin' forever, even bein' elected a god didn't make the dread go away. Didn't make the fear stop. It was quiet for a long time, after he ascended. He settled into his new role well, expanded da Bizzyboys, named me the new leader of the Grove division, reestablished the Drain division. Things were good, they really were. For a long, long time. But then jealousy started to creep in as the novelty wore off and people stopped bein' as excited about him. Envy towards gods like Thespius and Huzzle Mug, with big personalities and popular art. Envy towards old gods like Mitternacht and Bauhauzzo who were such household names that no one could ever forget 'em. He fell in with the newer gods, Click Clack and Cobigail, and that helped for a bit, but then... then people started forgettin' Cobigail and her holidays, and watching the effect it had on her... it terrified him. Meanwhile, I was gettin' old, and I was desperate to stay special to him, prove I was still useful. So I... started makin' going to see him more n' more exclusive, till it was just me. I made it worse."
"And then came King, and--- well, the rest is history, ain't it? By the time she showed up, and started gettin' popular so easily just for bein' herself when we'd torn ourselves to shreds for it... it was easy for all that fear and loneliness to turn to anger. And I got angry with him. I used that anger to hurt all'a youse. Took your names, your free time, your other clothes, everything that made you, you. I took a buncha dreamers, the same kinda people I once admired Hector for bein', and I beat you down and tricked you into bein' complicit in Inspekta's vanity project, cause we were both too blinded by fear and hate and obsession to see how goddamn selfish we was bein'. And we almost ended the whole world over it."
At long last, he trails off, his cigarette finishing alongside his story. He stares daggers into the grass, head hanging low as if set into the jaws of a guillotine, waiting for whatever blade Patty's judgement might take the shape of to fall on his neck.
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"I used ta see you guys on the TV all the time," she says slowly. "Those documentaries you and Inspekta made, or if you was on the news...Somebody'd throw open their door and holler out, 'Inspekta's on!' and all us kids would pile inside to see. It was...it was good, seein' someone who looked like us doin' so much good, gettin' some respect. But I never actually wanted to be a Bizzyboy back then, believe it or not. Some of the kids did! But I always kinda figured...eh, I thought you'd probably want someone smarter. Or, you know...competent." She giggles nervously.
"I figured I'd have a life like my mom's, you know? Get a job or three, meet someone nice, pop out a couple kids. Basic stuff, but I thought it'd be nice. Aaaaand then I started gettin' fired. Can I have a smoke?"
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He snorts at the request. "Do you actually smoke or do you just think I make it look cool? I ain't never seen you do it before," he prods skeptically. "If you don't already smoke, don't start now. You don't wanna end up like me, huffin' and puffin', all stinky and with bad teeth when you get old."
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"You just ain't never seen me smoke in uniform before," she admits. "It's the nicest thing I've ever worn, I didn't wanna get it all smelly. And I didn't have any other clothes to wear, so...I kinda stopped altogether." And how much of her jittering around and messing things up was down to nicotine withdrawal? Patty never stopped to think about it, but maybe Capochin will now.
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"Shut up!" she squeaks at Capochin before he's even said anything, grinning through the continued coughing. "I'm just, bleh, out of practice! It don't mean nothing!"
Once that drama's cleared up and she can breath again, she picks back up the thread of her story. "So, I started gettin' fired. Workplace accident here, some genuinely misplaced cash here...at one job I punched my manager in the nose for hittin' on me, and then he turned out to be the owner's brother. It was kinda bullshit if you ask me, but I'd been rangin' out so far just lookin' for a job that would stick that I didn't know any'a the local gangs, so I just went home. And by then I'd already been fired or blacklisted from errything local for bein' such a dumb klutz, and Mom wasn't gettin' any younger, so..." She winces.
"You prolly already know what I got arrested for, right? It must've been in my file. The judge said I could go ta jail, or sign up with the Bizzyboys as a probation'ry member, so...I signed up." She stares down at her feet. "I thought it'd be a fresh start, you know? Like I'd finally be able to turn my life around and start livin' right."
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And certainly Patty has something to live for. Capochin's not stupid, he's seen the way she looks at the new Godpoke. Not to mention that she stands an actual chance of fitting in among the God Grove residents.
She carries on again. Familiar tales. Not because Capochin has heard her story before, but because there are simply so, so many like it. The problems with Drain are buried deep in its DNA. A cycle Hector had been determined to break, one upon a time. The Bizzyboys were born of imagining what sort of people Drainfolk could be with a bit of community support, some half decent money, the promise of safety, and a bit of structure. Their purpose was to show the world just how bright they could shine with just the slightest bit of solid ground to stand on. And for so long, he'd been right. It makes Capochin's stomach turn to think just how off the rails it all went.
He remembers Patty's case file, of course. One of Inspekta's first acts as a god had been to insist that the courts of Drain offer community service through the Bizzyboys as an alternative to jail for various petty crimes. It brought in some rougher sorts, but it was nothing that the head of the Drain branch couldn't handle. A spitfire by the name of Penelope who had once been just like them.
So when Patty came on via community service, she should have been the sort that stayed in the Drain branch. At least until she rode out her sentence. Then if she stayed on, she could have been promoted topside. But no, Inspekta had other plans. Not only a promotion to the Grove branch extremely early, but a position among his carefully chosen team of five for the mission at the rift. Why?
Because she was a fuck-up. A hard-working one, but a fuck-up nonetheless, and she was placed as the new blood among four other serial fuck-ups for the express purpose of stalling. Failing in service to Inspekta. Alexei, the glutton, too busy thinking with his stomach to get any work done. Bananathaniel, odd and in his own head, always daydreaming about movies and chattering instead of getting things done. Vibiano, self-obsessed and lazy, more concerned with appearances than action. Grujaja, the one he and Hector had ruined. Their little stowaway, injured and traumatized and so, so devoted. And Patty, a klutz with something to prove. Inspekta's perfect patsies.
But no, that wasn't who they were, was it? That was a cruel image the two of them had built when they hated everyone.
Alexei, the survivor of food insecurity, good-humored and tough. Bananathaniel, the movie buff with big dreams and a sharp memory. Vibiano, talented artist, with quick hands and a quicker wit. Grujaja, their son, who they raised together through victory and hardship, sensitive, but a good man. And Patty, the epitome of what it means to be a Bizzyboy. A freedom fighter, a believer, someone who won't take bullshit lying down. Someone with a sense of justice and a desire to do good. Someone who has the ability to shine so bright, if only she has a bit of support.
Capochin sighs. "It shoulda been. That's--- what the Bizzyboys were supposed to be. We took that from ya. Ain't fair."
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She shakes her head. "That's not what I want from you and Hector, not even when I was mad enough to scream atcha. I just wanted you to stop being mean, I didn't want you to stop...you know, everything. I wish ya hadn't disbanded the Bizzyboys."
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She turns serious. "And if I see any, I'm callin' em out. You won't be able to shut me up this time. I'll make Buzzhuzz look like a friendly little spat if I gotta."
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