Who: Fever, Helena, and those threading with them What:January non-event things. When: All month. Where: Across the isle. Warning(s): To be noted in threads individually
"Oh, I can't imagine I'll be able to resist going on adventures with you."
She tips her head, thinking about what adventures they might go on, and how much food Max will have upon her return to him. Her thoughts return to the moment with Fever's question.
"Well, it's our souls, not our minds, but yes, you can."
"In the soul way," she amends, before focusing, and trying to convey her message.
Where before, when she tried to express her emotions to Valdis, she had been more hesitant, today it feels closer to taking the other woman by the hand and leading her on a walk. Side by side, instead of so far. More of an ease, gliding past what they know - the fondness, her worries, that solid determination that whatever she needs, Fever would be there. And then pulling back a curtain, and letting some more light into the place, and they both see what has grown there. Something in its very own shape, difficult to describe, but sturdy all the same, approached as gently as spring rain might fall on a field.
Fever's voice, mellow and easy.
I understand it all a little more now. I understand what makes you my dearest friend. Though I like the word you use better, partner. Makes me think about how much I trust you, and how much you trust me. That we chose to do so, and that we still do.
Valdis lets the walls fall to allow Fever to share what she wants to share. At first, it's nothing she doesn't already know, but slowly it shifts into something different.
Something beautiful. Something soft. Something sturdy. Something not easily broken.
Valdis leans against Fever, closing her eyes so she can just feel what her partner is sharing with her.
Part of me worried you would shy away from me now that you are free, because to me...you have been the light, but now I understand that we are the light for each other. We both know what it is like to be violent, but we both also know how to be soft.
That word still feels hard for her, hard to use and control, but she knows Valdis understands. It's her own hangups, and nothing the other woman has done. Something that time can ease, and time they have in abundance.
In lieu of a immediate response aloud, she gently squeezes Valdis's hand, letting herself relax more. The vulnerability she offers is as solid a response as anything else, allowing her feelings to ebb and flow, fearing no judgement. No walls, no weapons. Simply herself, and trusting in this house to hold her, in the presence of her partner at her side.
Just because I can breathe free air doesn't mean I want to shy away. I'm not your girlfriend, but that's no reason to doubt what I've said about you and my future. But it's a tease, nothing more, full of mirth - the sensation of sunlight glittering on water. If anything, you can know I mean it all the more, without needing to live with your blade near my throat. Building a future means I can choose who is in it simply because I want them there.
If she must grow and fill space, then let at least some of that space be people to keep close, who support her, who will come if she says but a word. Let Valdis fill space, knowing it was set aside just for her.
The fact that Fever doesn't say it in return doesn't bother her any more now than it did before. Things don't change overnight, freedom doesn't equal healing. Fever will need time and space to explore her new reality, but it's clear that there is still room for her in that new reality and really...that's all she needed to know.
I won't lie to you, I know I promised to stop you...but I never intended to do that at the cost of your life. Foolish perhaps, but I stopped Daisy's rampage without killing her, so I believe I could have done the same with you.
It still gives her a thrill and a joy she's not certain she will ever escape. The beauty of being powerful is not something one forgets so easily.
I want you to be in my future just as much as my present...so I'm glad you are free, and I want to take up space in your new future.
Valdis hums to fill the silence as Anani chooses to leave the fireplace for Fever's lap, jumping up on the couch and nudging their hands out of the way, leading her hum to become a small laugh.
I don't need someone to tell me I could defeat them, I'm well aware I'm one of the more dangerous inhabitants of this island, but I am happy I will never need to be dangerous to you.
She sighs as the cat begins purring in Fever's lap.
Anani deciding that he can no longer tolerate being left out of the equation makes Fever laugh too, drawn as all people are to give pets when a small animal decides you are worthy of being sat upon. And it's pleasant, very much so. Comfort given without the frisson of fear that used to inhabit her when touching something smaller than herself, knowing they're safe in her hands. Soft, warm, the subtle vibrations of his purring under her fingertips, all wonderful sensations.
And to think, she used to not understand why people were so inclined to have pets.
Still a relief to know that if the very worst came to pass, you could pull me out of it.
But at least for now, that seems nearly impossible. How can she dwell on such things when she's here now, sharing in her joy and letting herself be cared about?
Anani settles in Fever's lap, continuing to purr softly and knead her legs with his paws, pleased to be receiving attention. Valdis strokes his head once and then settles closer to Fever, bringing her tea to her lips to take a slow sip.
Hopefully it is a relief we will never need to feel.
She leans her head against Fever's, falling silent in both thought and body, happy to just sit here with her partner and her pets.
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no subject
She chuckles, then pauses as something comes to her.
"Can I share something with you? In the mind way."
no subject
She tips her head, thinking about what adventures they might go on, and how much food Max will have upon her return to him. Her thoughts return to the moment with Fever's question.
"Well, it's our souls, not our minds, but yes, you can."
no subject
Where before, when she tried to express her emotions to Valdis, she had been more hesitant, today it feels closer to taking the other woman by the hand and leading her on a walk. Side by side, instead of so far. More of an ease, gliding past what they know - the fondness, her worries, that solid determination that whatever she needs, Fever would be there. And then pulling back a curtain, and letting some more light into the place, and they both see what has grown there. Something in its very own shape, difficult to describe, but sturdy all the same, approached as gently as spring rain might fall on a field.
Fever's voice, mellow and easy.
I understand it all a little more now. I understand what makes you my dearest friend. Though I like the word you use better, partner. Makes me think about how much I trust you, and how much you trust me. That we chose to do so, and that we still do.
no subject
Something beautiful. Something soft. Something sturdy. Something not easily broken.
Valdis leans against Fever, closing her eyes so she can just feel what her partner is sharing with her.
Part of me worried you would shy away from me now that you are free, because to me...you have been the light, but now I understand that we are the light for each other. We both know what it is like to be violent, but we both also know how to be soft.
She sighs softly, saying the next part out loud.
"I love you, Fever."
no subject
In lieu of a immediate response aloud, she gently squeezes Valdis's hand, letting herself relax more. The vulnerability she offers is as solid a response as anything else, allowing her feelings to ebb and flow, fearing no judgement. No walls, no weapons. Simply herself, and trusting in this house to hold her, in the presence of her partner at her side.
Just because I can breathe free air doesn't mean I want to shy away. I'm not your girlfriend, but that's no reason to doubt what I've said about you and my future. But it's a tease, nothing more, full of mirth - the sensation of sunlight glittering on water. If anything, you can know I mean it all the more, without needing to live with your blade near my throat. Building a future means I can choose who is in it simply because I want them there.
If she must grow and fill space, then let at least some of that space be people to keep close, who support her, who will come if she says but a word. Let Valdis fill space, knowing it was set aside just for her.
no subject
I won't lie to you, I know I promised to stop you...but I never intended to do that at the cost of your life. Foolish perhaps, but I stopped Daisy's rampage without killing her, so I believe I could have done the same with you.
It still gives her a thrill and a joy she's not certain she will ever escape. The beauty of being powerful is not something one forgets so easily.
I want you to be in my future just as much as my present...so I'm glad you are free, and I want to take up space in your new future.
no subject
Happiness, that same peaceful contentment, stretching over her mind like a blanket being knit. Row by row, growing slow and steady.
And for what it's worth, I think you could have stopped me easily. Still could, really. I don't give that kind of praise lightly.
no subject
The same promise she had made to Max.
Valdis hums to fill the silence as Anani chooses to leave the fireplace for Fever's lap, jumping up on the couch and nudging their hands out of the way, leading her hum to become a small laugh.
I don't need someone to tell me I could defeat them, I'm well aware I'm one of the more dangerous inhabitants of this island, but I am happy I will never need to be dangerous to you.
She sighs as the cat begins purring in Fever's lap.
no subject
And to think, she used to not understand why people were so inclined to have pets.
Still a relief to know that if the very worst came to pass, you could pull me out of it.
But at least for now, that seems nearly impossible. How can she dwell on such things when she's here now, sharing in her joy and letting herself be cared about?
no subject
Hopefully it is a relief we will never need to feel.
She leans her head against Fever's, falling silent in both thought and body, happy to just sit here with her partner and her pets.