Who: Fever, Helena, and those threading with them What:January non-event things. When: All month. Where: Across the isle. Warning(s): To be noted in threads individually
The conversation that's ahead of them is...daunting, to say the least. No matter how much Helena tries to talk herself down, how much she knows Phil is a kind man and supportive and everything that Darcy would look for in a parent, there's a part of her mind that screams they should have had this conversation first. She said yes too quickly, too afraid of losing her beloved again. There should have been more leadup to this.
In the end, she had simply insisted. What's done is done, but they can't hide the truth from him overly long, or it won't be fair.
So, here they are, and here she is, back at the familiar house. She's walked here so often she could do it half asleep. And dinner, this she can do, and she's somehow managing to remain normal about this. Mostly. Phil can probably already discern they have Something to bring up, given how well he knows his own kid and how Helena seems to be a tiny bit on edge.
At least it's impossible to choke on the food. It's too good to subject to that, and despite herself, Helena has a healthy appetite. Just...stay focused.
The first is that this dinner is a little bit last minute. Darcy's invited Helena over to eat a number of times before, but usually with more warning than this. Then there's how the pair of them act- it doesn't look like they've had a fight per se, but the usual ease of their connection while Darcy was helping to cook (nothing strenuous) very quickly quietens into something tense.
So something is up. And Darcy is looking into the venison stew in their bowl so intently that they may very well establish a psychic connection and remember a past life where they were a deer. It's not that they think Phil will take it badly, but they do remember the... 'pirate empress' conversation, and part of them is worried he won't approve. Think it's too rushed, or they're too young, or even worse- get stuck in his memories of Rita and get even more melancholy than he had been.
So it's a very very quiet and tense dinner table. Hope Phil enjoys that.
All of it puts him back in mind of the ship, a little. A little more than a little. He hasn't been... the most well lately, and he can hardly be stopped from running the entire gamut of worried parents everywhere. Back then, this kind of tense atmosphere had a forecast: somewhere there's been the social equivalent of a bridge collapse, and he should brace himself for the news. Things are better here, but with these two, in this house of refugees, he just--he doesn't know. Obviously they didn't break up, at least not catastrophically, but he doesn't know.
So he putters around trying to help or busying himself with side chores until dinner is set, and then eats quietly, listening too closely, and just.
Of course he knows. And of course Darcy isn't saying anything beforehand, because she knows, this must be exhausting for them too and as nervewracking as Helena would feel sitting down with her own parent, but something in her desperately wishes they would. Not saying anything to anyone yet has been torturous - all those people in books who hid things for so long, they must have had nerves of steel to not let it slip.
She's about to shatter in this environment. Give her the most malicious hunter to pursue her, and in this state, she thinks she could outrun them for hours, too alert.
"There's some good news to share," she offers, hoping that's enough of a lead-in for Darcy to pick up. If not...oh, this should have been a much more lighthearted conversation.
"We're engaged," Darcy says, overlapped with Helena's attempt to ramp in gently. Oh. Tackling it more carefully probably would have definitely been a better solution, but Darce is so stressed about the whole thing that they just want to get the hard part over with.
They're still not really looking up from the stew.
All the waiting, popped like a balloon, because now that it's been said, she can think of a dozen better ways they could have said it. Perhaps should have said it. But now it's out there.
"Since Christmas," Helena admits, having set down her own spoon in favor of holding her own hands. "I know we should have spoken to you sooner, but between their recovery and the restaurant and everything else..."
A tiny pause.
"I know it is perhaps old-fashioned of me, but, belated as it is, I've come to ask you for your blessing. And to answer whatever questions you have. We've agreed to this being quite a ways in the future, after all."
There's time enough to hear every doubt he might have, everything he needs to know or wants to know. They're not going to run out the door and come back with it all settled - Helena would never agree to something so impromptu. And for Darcy's sake, she's not mentioning that she thought it had been discussed before they had made their move.
Darcy vwoops behind Phil to make sure that the good news isn't actively killing him, carefully thumping him on the back and trying not to outright panic. He seems fine? He's fine, okay, Helena has this handled, they go to shoot her back a look but that would help absolutely nobody, so they return back to their seat to continue to let her handle it.
Thank god Darcy chose Helena, is his first thought, because god love them, she’s the only one doing anything reassuring right now. Not that there’s any reason to reassure him, it’s a happy occasion, his kid’s found someone good for them and they’re going to be happy, and…
… yeah, it’s just—he had no idea. They never mentioned anything or gave him any indication that they were planning on this. But she’s still asking for his blessing—the two of them don’t need it, they don’t, but it’s still reassuring to know that they want his approval. Are asking for his input. They’re probably just in a hurry—that’s why weddings happened on the ship so fast, everyone was trying not to think about who was gonna go next, and even then they’re putting it off for a while, but, uh—
Phil chuckles gently. “Christmas. Well, damn. The kids got engaged right under my nose.” Why does he feel like Darcy just eloped?
He clears his throat again, drinks some water to really get it down. The glass clunks as he sets it down. When he speaks, it’s warm. “First of all, yes, you have my blessing. The two of you make a good pair and I don’t see a reason to object. Second, uh…” harrumphs again, “you said you were planning this some way into the future—how far were you thinking?”
Visible relief and happiness moves through her when she hears Phil speak, that he approves, and it means the world to her. As much as it does to know that her own father approves of Darcy, that the two of them know that their loved ones are on their side for this, that they go with their grace. And she knows it'll mean everything to Darcy as well. For all their intentions, if he wouldn't have been happy with it, it would have inevitably led to having to reconsider a few things. Pain that none of them need to feel.
"A while after the barrier is broken. When we've all settled, and things have proven to be stable. Then there will actually be time to plan and make all the necessary arrangements. Optimistically, that might be around two years from now."
Or longer, if need be. She's not in a hurry, after all. Like this, one might wonder why ask at all, but the promise matters. The certainty matters. The way it secures itself into the future matters.
This has the very opposite effect of making Phil think that Darcy thought about it, at least to the extent that he'd expect from them. Then again, love does all sorts of things to a person. Then again, he and Rita waited five years before even thinking about it. Then again, they were in their 40s at that point.
"But you still asked," he says with that sort of teasing grin in his voice, but there's this barest line of strain in it. Like the subtlest copper taste in water. "C'mon, you know by now that that opens you up to more than just what you think."
He fidgets with the spoon in his bowl. "After the barrier sounds good. That's a good plan." Two years. They'd be 20 then. Time given, things changing, a better headspace to really take this commitment in hand. Okay. 20's still... young, really young, but it's not 18, and Helena and Darcy have pretty good heads on their shoulders already. Yeah. It'll be fine.
Well, Phil. Clock's ticking.
"Yeah, uh, I admit I'm--a little blindsided, more than usual I mean, but I'm happy for you two. Seriously."
Two years is if everything goes perfectly and somehow they're free within the next several months. More likely than not, it'll be longer. And even past that point, Helena can't imagine that they'd want to be more than a few steps away. They didn't fight to hold onto one another to separate at the earliest opportunity.
"Thank you. That means more than I can really put into sufficient words." A pause. "And I said much the same thing when they asked me and were surprised at the answer. It might seem like a bit much to have done when we plan to wait for some time, and I know it wouldn't have changed feelings, to say no, but...I love Darcy, with all of my heart."
The expression on her face has grown soft, contemplative, and deeply, genuinely affectionate.
"I love them enough to want to tell the entire world about it, to write and write until I somehow manage to find the right words to encapsulate my feelings, to use every power a poet possesses to voice it and give it shape. Yet at the same time, I know that this promise suffices to speak more than a whole host of epics possibly could."
Darcy does notice that strain, shooting Phil a meaningful look of apology. This isn't how they wanted it to go, even if they know it's the right decision. The Scream is peaceful in their bloodstream, content at the direction they're pointed, they have to trust that.
But they did think they would have more time. Just a bit, to get their feet under them.
Then Helena starts and very quickly there is a small quiet noise of impact of their forehead to the table as Darcy experiences a terminal error and has to shut down, both hands on the back of their head.
"J'taime aussi," they manage, really wishing they weren't having to do pda in front of their mum but refusing to let it go unanswered.
Helena's explanation is, again, soothing, as slowly she lays down the pieces that offer a bigger window into the decision than a hole in the wall. The more she says, the less he's got to say. A long engagement, a promise that is real that'll carry them out until the island is safe. Okay.
Part of him wants to start wheedling them about wedding plans but not only will that make Darcy explode into small confetti, it's pretty clear that that's not something they're thinking of right now, and there's a superstitious part of him that feels like his silence will buy them all time. Like if he doesn't speak it into existence, things will move along at the pace they're supposed to, the way they want it to. No detours into the fast lane.
"Ta fiancée est jolie avec toi," as he reaches over to ruffle Darcy's hair a little. To Helena, "Yeah, I can understand that. I get it. I think it's sweet. It's a good thing to hold onto." ... "Uh--just let us know when you start househunting, ehn?"
"Oh goodness, that won't be for quite a while yet. I haven't given it any thought."
And she's quite certain that even when it begins, neither of them will want to veer too far away from their loved ones, all told. It will be much less of an upheaval than it could be.
At least Darcy will have a chance to recover, because now that the conversation is going well, Helena can go back to the stew and take a bite before she continues to pour out her heart in front of their mom.
Darcy accepts the hair ruffling placidly, with only a mild noise of discontent at their mum being embarrassing. Phil probably deserves to catch up on a few years worth of mild embarrassing anyway, the last time she really got to was. Prom? Prom. Something like that.
The comment makes them raise their head, and for a moment they glance back to Helena. It almost looks like they'll have to have a Real Talk but. No, Helena as always is in the same mind as Darcy, and they look back to Phil to affirm-
"Definitely not yet. Definitely not until the barrier goes down at least. And I wouldn't go far."
They know how much Phil needs them now, better than they did. It's not happening.
Yeah. Darcy can always read him just as well as he reads them, is the thing, and that joke was just dangling an obvious plea in front of them. Of course they knew what question they were answering. He didn't want to just ask, because announcing an engagement is not the place to whine about how much you're worried about losing your kid. God forbid, if he's the cause of any doubt or worry, just take him out back. Look, he just... Darcy feels more and more like they're going to strike out on their own, and Phil can't get in the way of that. Even if he's not sure he could bear the distance. A few precious years and a lifetime of loneliness. You break your own heart on purpose.
But they don't want to go, either.
It's a feeling like the way one's stomach can go cold while the rest of you is warm. Guilt for having brought it up, chilly and bitter, but mostly just relief. The breeze that follows him unstiffens, like a breath let go.
Quietly, "Me neither. Uh--good to hear you're staying in the neighborhood, ehn?"
"I don't think I'd voluntarily choose to resettle my life for a fourth time, anyway."
Given that every time before was involuntary, moved by the hands of beings far more powerful than her. And no matter how near they are to Phil, she can imagine that Darcy will be over to see her mom every day, or vice versa.
"...if it helps anything as well, Darcy did have the chance to meet my father. I can only regret I didn't ask you to come meet him when circumstances permitted."
But she had been in the Visitor's Center as long as she could, pouring as many hours into her reunion as she was allowed. How does one concentrate years into days? It had been almost unbearable stepping back to allow Darcy to even have dinner on their own with the man. Still, the proof of his existence is in the glasses she wears, meaningful for their presence alone.
If anything, it's the perfect time to ask. Darcy and Helena are making plans for the rest of their lives; it makes sense that Phil would want to check that he's still along for the ride.
Darcy adds-
"He was nice. Super protestant, but nice."
Kind of terrifying, but he was nice and so they won't speak ill of him.
"I think you would have gotten along. He was fine with like," just kind of gestures between them and Helena, "everything."
"You make it sound like you guys make it hard for yourselves. I mean, yeah, I know, extraordinary circumstances and personal biases and all--" among other things, "--but you guys, like... you guys are good, you know? You're both good, strong people, with a lot of reasons to be proud of yourselves. You match well."
He takes a moment to stuff some more food down just to ease his nerves. He knew being a parent was stressful, but Christ.
"It would've been nice to meet him. I'd like to meet the man who raised the person my kid chose to marry.But mostly I'm glad you got to see him again, and you got to meet hiim... that was the Visitor's Center from a while back, right?"
Happiness at such praise, such approval - oh, it's as sweet as birdsong in the late morning, for how her heart leaps and bounds. And yet, there will always be that ache, a scar that will forever remain. Somehow, she wants to say, they'll manage to mend this gap. But maybe not. And she will have to bear it, as she's borne many other things.
Still, Helena knows, they had some time. Bitter comes, but the sweet is still there.
"Yes. I can hardly believe how time has passed since then - but I'll forever be grateful that it occurred." A little more formal than she meant it to sound, but she doesn't want to drag down the mood here. She can let her own private impossible dreams come later. "And...sorry if we seemed on the verge of announcing a crisis. We really haven't told anyone yet but you. This is all so new."
Darcy ducks their head a little at the praise. It's always impossible to bear just how much pride Phil seems to have in them, how complete his love for them is. Overwhelming as stepping into a grand old cathedral, and knowing that its spires climb higher than can be seen from the inside.
They stretch a hand across the table and give two small taps for Helena to find their hand with. It's not hard to read how touched Helena is by it, and this... it wasn't on their mind when they proposed. But it's something that is clear to their mind now, in this room, having Phil be so pleased for them. It's about folding Helena into their family, the same people who give them warmth and safety, offering that to her too. Helena will probably always miss her dad as long as they're separated, but she has Phil now just as she has Darcy. Their home is her home.
"Thanks, mum," they offer quietly, before adding onto Helena's comment-
"And we're going to keep it quiet, too. Just for now. But. It's important you know."
He chuckles. "Yeah, of course. Well, I appreciate you guys telling me." Toothlessly but teasing: "Finally."
Idly stabbing the stew, "Helena, do you have a key to the house yet? We can arrange that if you don't."
Even if they aren't moving anywhere, if there's an engagement afoot, this is the least they can do. Helena's going to be part of the family. She already knows how they run the house and they're all already used to her, but now's a good time to settle into that even more.
"Well, we'll probably talk to Dimes and Rubes first--wait, have you told them yet?"
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farmhouse.
In the end, she had simply insisted. What's done is done, but they can't hide the truth from him overly long, or it won't be fair.
So, here they are, and here she is, back at the familiar house. She's walked here so often she could do it half asleep. And dinner, this she can do, and she's somehow managing to remain normal about this. Mostly. Phil can probably already discern they have Something to bring up, given how well he knows his own kid and how Helena seems to be a tiny bit on edge.
At least it's impossible to choke on the food. It's too good to subject to that, and despite herself, Helena has a healthy appetite. Just...stay focused.
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The first is that this dinner is a little bit last minute. Darcy's invited Helena over to eat a number of times before, but usually with more warning than this. Then there's how the pair of them act- it doesn't look like they've had a fight per se, but the usual ease of their connection while Darcy was helping to cook (nothing strenuous) very quickly quietens into something tense.
So something is up. And Darcy is looking into the venison stew in their bowl so intently that they may very well establish a psychic connection and remember a past life where they were a deer. It's not that they think Phil will take it badly, but they do remember the... 'pirate empress' conversation, and part of them is worried he won't approve. Think it's too rushed, or they're too young, or even worse- get stuck in his memories of Rita and get even more melancholy than he had been.
So it's a very very quiet and tense dinner table. Hope Phil enjoys that.
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So he putters around trying to help or busying himself with side chores until dinner is set, and then eats quietly, listening too closely, and just.
...
"Sso," he says, "what's new?"
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She's about to shatter in this environment. Give her the most malicious hunter to pursue her, and in this state, she thinks she could outrun them for hours, too alert.
"There's some good news to share," she offers, hoping that's enough of a lead-in for Darcy to pick up. If not...oh, this should have been a much more lighthearted conversation.
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They're still not really looking up from the stew.
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All the waiting, popped like a balloon, because now that it's been said, she can think of a dozen better ways they could have said it. Perhaps should have said it. But now it's out there.
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When he does—blinks. Owlishly.
“Oh!”
…
“Congratulations!”
…
…??????????
“Uh—what? When? I mean, uh, wh…”
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A tiny pause.
"I know it is perhaps old-fashioned of me, but, belated as it is, I've come to ask you for your blessing. And to answer whatever questions you have. We've agreed to this being quite a ways in the future, after all."
There's time enough to hear every doubt he might have, everything he needs to know or wants to know. They're not going to run out the door and come back with it all settled - Helena would never agree to something so impromptu. And for Darcy's sake, she's not mentioning that she thought it had been discussed before they had made their move.
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"It was when we went out the back at réveillon."
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… yeah, it’s just—he had no idea. They never mentioned anything or gave him any indication that they were planning on this. But she’s still asking for his blessing—the two of them don’t need it, they don’t, but it’s still reassuring to know that they want his approval. Are asking for his input. They’re probably just in a hurry—that’s why weddings happened on the ship so fast, everyone was trying not to think about who was gonna go next, and even then they’re putting it off for a while, but, uh—
Phil chuckles gently. “Christmas. Well, damn. The kids got engaged right under my nose.” Why does he feel like Darcy just eloped?
He clears his throat again, drinks some water to really get it down. The glass clunks as he sets it down. When he speaks, it’s warm. “First of all, yes, you have my blessing. The two of you make a good pair and I don’t see a reason to object. Second, uh…” harrumphs again, “you said you were planning this some way into the future—how far were you thinking?”
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"A while after the barrier is broken. When we've all settled, and things have proven to be stable. Then there will actually be time to plan and make all the necessary arrangements. Optimistically, that might be around two years from now."
Or longer, if need be. She's not in a hurry, after all. Like this, one might wonder why ask at all, but the promise matters. The certainty matters. The way it secures itself into the future matters.
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"I also wasn't expecting to get a yes like now, I thought I'd have like. Another year for a like, pre-engagement thing."
Which is to say, they thought they'd have time to talk to him about it.
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"But you still asked," he says with that sort of teasing grin in his voice, but there's this barest line of strain in it. Like the subtlest copper taste in water. "C'mon, you know by now that that opens you up to more than just what you think."
He fidgets with the spoon in his bowl. "After the barrier sounds good. That's a good plan." Two years. They'd be 20 then. Time given, things changing, a better headspace to really take this commitment in hand. Okay. 20's still... young, really young, but it's not 18, and Helena and Darcy have pretty good heads on their shoulders already. Yeah. It'll be fine.
Well, Phil. Clock's ticking.
"Yeah, uh, I admit I'm--a little blindsided, more than usual I mean, but I'm happy for you two. Seriously."
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"Thank you. That means more than I can really put into sufficient words." A pause. "And I said much the same thing when they asked me and were surprised at the answer. It might seem like a bit much to have done when we plan to wait for some time, and I know it wouldn't have changed feelings, to say no, but...I love Darcy, with all of my heart."
The expression on her face has grown soft, contemplative, and deeply, genuinely affectionate.
"I love them enough to want to tell the entire world about it, to write and write until I somehow manage to find the right words to encapsulate my feelings, to use every power a poet possesses to voice it and give it shape. Yet at the same time, I know that this promise suffices to speak more than a whole host of epics possibly could."
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But they did think they would have more time. Just a bit, to get their feet under them.
Then Helena starts and very quickly there is a small quiet noise of impact of their forehead to the table as Darcy experiences a terminal error and has to shut down, both hands on the back of their head.
"J'taime aussi," they manage, really wishing they weren't having to do pda in front of their mum but refusing to let it go unanswered.
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Part of him wants to start wheedling them about wedding plans but not only will that make Darcy explode into small confetti, it's pretty clear that that's not something they're thinking of right now, and there's a superstitious part of him that feels like his silence will buy them all time. Like if he doesn't speak it into existence, things will move along at the pace they're supposed to, the way they want it to. No detours into the fast lane.
"Ta fiancée est jolie avec toi," as he reaches over to ruffle Darcy's hair a little. To Helena, "Yeah, I can understand that. I get it. I think it's sweet. It's a good thing to hold onto." ... "Uh--just let us know when you start househunting, ehn?"
He chuckles.
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And she's quite certain that even when it begins, neither of them will want to veer too far away from their loved ones, all told. It will be much less of an upheaval than it could be.
At least Darcy will have a chance to recover, because now that the conversation is going well, Helena can go back to the stew and take a bite before she continues to pour out her heart in front of their mom.
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The comment makes them raise their head, and for a moment they glance back to Helena. It almost looks like they'll have to have a Real Talk but. No, Helena as always is in the same mind as Darcy, and they look back to Phil to affirm-
"Definitely not yet. Definitely not until the barrier goes down at least. And I wouldn't go far."
They know how much Phil needs them now, better than they did. It's not happening.
"I can't imagine home without you, anyway."
cw flippant suicide comment
But they don't want to go, either.
It's a feeling like the way one's stomach can go cold while the rest of you is warm. Guilt for having brought it up, chilly and bitter, but mostly just relief. The breeze that follows him unstiffens, like a breath let go.
Quietly, "Me neither. Uh--good to hear you're staying in the neighborhood, ehn?"
Shoves some more stew into his mouth.
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Given that every time before was involuntary, moved by the hands of beings far more powerful than her. And no matter how near they are to Phil, she can imagine that Darcy will be over to see her mom every day, or vice versa.
"...if it helps anything as well, Darcy did have the chance to meet my father. I can only regret I didn't ask you to come meet him when circumstances permitted."
But she had been in the Visitor's Center as long as she could, pouring as many hours into her reunion as she was allowed. How does one concentrate years into days? It had been almost unbearable stepping back to allow Darcy to even have dinner on their own with the man. Still, the proof of his existence is in the glasses she wears, meaningful for their presence alone.
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Darcy adds-
"He was nice. Super protestant, but nice."
Kind of terrifying, but he was nice and so they won't speak ill of him.
"I think you would have gotten along. He was fine with like," just kind of gestures between them and Helena, "everything."
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He takes a moment to stuff some more food down just to ease his nerves. He knew being a parent was stressful, but Christ.
"It would've been nice to meet him. I'd like to meet the man who raised the person my kid chose to marry.But mostly I'm glad you got to see him again, and you got to meet hiim... that was the Visitor's Center from a while back, right?"
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Still, Helena knows, they had some time. Bitter comes, but the sweet is still there.
"Yes. I can hardly believe how time has passed since then - but I'll forever be grateful that it occurred." A little more formal than she meant it to sound, but she doesn't want to drag down the mood here. She can let her own private impossible dreams come later. "And...sorry if we seemed on the verge of announcing a crisis. We really haven't told anyone yet but you. This is all so new."
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They stretch a hand across the table and give two small taps for Helena to find their hand with. It's not hard to read how touched Helena is by it, and this... it wasn't on their mind when they proposed. But it's something that is clear to their mind now, in this room, having Phil be so pleased for them. It's about folding Helena into their family, the same people who give them warmth and safety, offering that to her too. Helena will probably always miss her dad as long as they're separated, but she has Phil now just as she has Darcy. Their home is her home.
"Thanks, mum," they offer quietly, before adding onto Helena's comment-
"And we're going to keep it quiet, too. Just for now. But. It's important you know."
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Idly stabbing the stew, "Helena, do you have a key to the house yet? We can arrange that if you don't."
Even if they aren't moving anywhere, if there's an engagement afoot, this is the least they can do. Helena's going to be part of the family. She already knows how they run the house and they're all already used to her, but now's a good time to settle into that even more.
"Well, we'll probably talk to Dimes and Rubes first--wait, have you told them yet?"
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