Radar O'Reilly (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
incomingchoppers) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ph_logs2024-10-08 08:22 pm
incomingchoppers) wrote in ph_logs2024-10-08 08:22 pm
[OPEN] city flower, wrapped around my heart
Who: Radar (incomingchoppers) & YOU
What: A rare breaking point, a new member of the O'Reilly Menagerie, and Radar's 20th birthday!
When: October through the beginning of November
Where: The Oak & Iron, Baker Ranch, and a few other spots around town
Warning(s): None yet -- will add if needed
1) you find me in the shadows and the shade
For a week or so after the gala, Radar's uncharacteristically scarce around town. He doesn't show up bright and early at Town Hall with coffee for all the filing clerks. Doesn't go to Baker Ranch for the weekend. If he pops into a store for something, he doesn't linger.
I got a lot to do at the estate, he says when asked, subdued. That's only part of it, but it's a big enough part that he doesn't wanna elaborate further.
Gradually, that changes: he begins to stop by the Oak & Iron again, making small talk here and there, though he clams up pretty quick whenever the topic turns toward Dahlia Leeds. Just because he's not talking about it doesn't mean plenty of other people aren't, though. When the gossip gets bad, it's easy to spot him scowling from across the way, visibly biting his tongue like he's listening to Major Burns spout off another boneheaded rant about the enlisted men.
What can he do, though? What they're saying might be awful, sure, but a lot of it's true. She's Aster's daughter; part-demon. She's eaten people. She never told anybody. That keeps him quiet, more or less -- until it doesn't anymore. Even a guy like Radar has to snap sometime.
So yeah, somebody comes in to the Oak & Iron talking about how they're gonna try to kick Dahlia off the town council, and Radar kinda loses his temper (a little at first but then a whole lot), and suddenly there's a real bad shouting match where he's yelling like he would when Colonel Blake wanted him to quiet down the whole mess tent -- You think she wants this?! You think anybody would if they could just be normal?!! --
Anyway. It's bad. And loud enough that it interrupts a lot of people's days -- maybe including yours.
2) the city bells ring soft in the night
He holes up at Baker Ranch for a bit after that, cycling back toward scarcity, keeping to himself when he can. Radar takes it upon himself to pick up the worst chores nobody else wants to do, like mucking out the stalls and scrubbing down the chicken coop. And he only assumes the fetal position in the hayloft once! Success!
That's where the barn cat finds him. And look, Radar had a real bad September, so when something that cute and fuzzy nuzzles up to him and starts purring, he just about bursts into tears. Even when it swipes his sending stone right out of his pocket, he can't find it in himself to be mad; he just pries it out of the cat's mouth with a weak, "Hey, c'mon, I need that."
Which is when he notices the stone's glowing like he just placed a call. Oops.
"Uh -- hello?" he says into the geode, sheepish. Radar rubs his eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to call, sir. Ma'am. Who's this?"
In the background, the Purrloin keeps purring smugly.
3) show me how to bloom; i promise i won't fade (forward dated to November)
Radar's mood finally begins to lighten toward the middle-end of the month. Mostly because once they turn the corner on October, it's just over a week until his birthday. He doesn't actually want a big party or anything, but if he mentions, oh so casual and offhand, that his twentieth birthday's coming up pretty soon, that's not gonna hurt anything, right?
So on November 8th, he wakes up -- and there it is. He's twenty. The big 2-0. No longer a teenager even a little bit. Maybe technically he was twenty before this, since it was September or October or maybe even November already when he died, and he's been on Marrow Isle for almost six months, but now it's official. He can do anything! He could even go to the Velvet now if he wanted!
....He doesn't actually want to, but he could.
Obviously he doesn't take off work (who do you think he is?!), but he miiiiight cut out a little early to celebrate. It'll be a quiet one -- a drink at Empty Pockets, some more time up at the ranch with all the animals, and eventually wandering toward the Leeds estate -- but if anyone wants to celebrate with him, he definitely won't say no. Hopefully it'll go a little better than Dahlia's birthday did.
4) wildcard
[find me on discord or PM me to plot!]
incomingchoppers) & YOUWhat: A rare breaking point, a new member of the O'Reilly Menagerie, and Radar's 20th birthday!
When: October through the beginning of November
Where: The Oak & Iron, Baker Ranch, and a few other spots around town
Warning(s): None yet -- will add if needed
1) you find me in the shadows and the shade
For a week or so after the gala, Radar's uncharacteristically scarce around town. He doesn't show up bright and early at Town Hall with coffee for all the filing clerks. Doesn't go to Baker Ranch for the weekend. If he pops into a store for something, he doesn't linger.
I got a lot to do at the estate, he says when asked, subdued. That's only part of it, but it's a big enough part that he doesn't wanna elaborate further.
Gradually, that changes: he begins to stop by the Oak & Iron again, making small talk here and there, though he clams up pretty quick whenever the topic turns toward Dahlia Leeds. Just because he's not talking about it doesn't mean plenty of other people aren't, though. When the gossip gets bad, it's easy to spot him scowling from across the way, visibly biting his tongue like he's listening to Major Burns spout off another boneheaded rant about the enlisted men.
What can he do, though? What they're saying might be awful, sure, but a lot of it's true. She's Aster's daughter; part-demon. She's eaten people. She never told anybody. That keeps him quiet, more or less -- until it doesn't anymore. Even a guy like Radar has to snap sometime.
So yeah, somebody comes in to the Oak & Iron talking about how they're gonna try to kick Dahlia off the town council, and Radar kinda loses his temper (a little at first but then a whole lot), and suddenly there's a real bad shouting match where he's yelling like he would when Colonel Blake wanted him to quiet down the whole mess tent -- You think she wants this?! You think anybody would if they could just be normal?!! --
Anyway. It's bad. And loud enough that it interrupts a lot of people's days -- maybe including yours.
2) the city bells ring soft in the night
He holes up at Baker Ranch for a bit after that, cycling back toward scarcity, keeping to himself when he can. Radar takes it upon himself to pick up the worst chores nobody else wants to do, like mucking out the stalls and scrubbing down the chicken coop. And he only assumes the fetal position in the hayloft once! Success!
That's where the barn cat finds him. And look, Radar had a real bad September, so when something that cute and fuzzy nuzzles up to him and starts purring, he just about bursts into tears. Even when it swipes his sending stone right out of his pocket, he can't find it in himself to be mad; he just pries it out of the cat's mouth with a weak, "Hey, c'mon, I need that."
Which is when he notices the stone's glowing like he just placed a call. Oops.
"Uh -- hello?" he says into the geode, sheepish. Radar rubs his eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to call, sir. Ma'am. Who's this?"
In the background, the Purrloin keeps purring smugly.
3) show me how to bloom; i promise i won't fade (forward dated to November)
Radar's mood finally begins to lighten toward the middle-end of the month. Mostly because once they turn the corner on October, it's just over a week until his birthday. He doesn't actually want a big party or anything, but if he mentions, oh so casual and offhand, that his twentieth birthday's coming up pretty soon, that's not gonna hurt anything, right?
So on November 8th, he wakes up -- and there it is. He's twenty. The big 2-0. No longer a teenager even a little bit. Maybe technically he was twenty before this, since it was September or October or maybe even November already when he died, and he's been on Marrow Isle for almost six months, but now it's official. He can do anything! He could even go to the Velvet now if he wanted!
....He doesn't actually want to, but he could.
Obviously he doesn't take off work (who do you think he is?!), but he miiiiight cut out a little early to celebrate. It'll be a quiet one -- a drink at Empty Pockets, some more time up at the ranch with all the animals, and eventually wandering toward the Leeds estate -- but if anyone wants to celebrate with him, he definitely won't say no. Hopefully it'll go a little better than Dahlia's birthday did.
4) wildcard
[find me on discord or PM me to plot!]
no subject
"Okay," he says in a bare whisper. He draws in a shaky breath. "Just..."
He's afraid to ask, but he's gotta.
"Are you gonna hate me if I stay with her?"
no subject
It's a good thing Radar isn't actually Hawk's little brother, because that sad look would have robbed him of every cent of his allowance, every treat, and every toy. Radar looking sad could probably stop the war if weaponised correctly. He wants to take most of it back, to just scoop him up and tell him Dahlia can come over for dinner if she agrees to pack her own and eat it in another room, but.
The cold stone in his gut remains unmoving. It's made of simple truths. The first is that he was duped by someone he cared for, who turned out to be a monster. And the second, is that he nearly forgave her. Nearly let his heart rule over his morals, the fabric of his very self. Hawkeye won't be making that mistake again. Even if it keeps him this bitter. Better to remember what he's here for. He's married to medicine, Carlye told him that. A lot of things, but never a hypocrite.
A slow exhale. The slightest grimace. It's Radar, but it's also bigger than that too. Like many things, he can't quite work out how to square this circle.
"I'm going to try not to."
It's the best he can do. He hopes Radar appreciates it.
no subject
Yeah.
It'd be real nice if he could blame it on the alcohol, but he's only a few inches past tipsy and the same thing'd be happening if he was sober. Which is his eyes welling up so fast that he barely gets his glasses off in time to scrub the tears away.
That's another thing Hawk's always been better at than Radar: knowing exactly who he is, and refusing to bend to fit the shape of the world. It's why he's one of the best guys Radar's ever met. He knows this is the best Hawkeye can do. The best Radar can hope for.
So he guesses he's just gonna have to live with it.
"Okay," he says again, choked. He tries to clear his throat, kneads the heel of his palm into his eyes again to get more of the tears, and settles his glasses back into place. Breathes. This is his decision, he reminds himself sternly. Everything he knows about Dahlia -- everything he feels -- he can't turn his back on her. Just like Hawk can't bend, Radar doesn't think he can, either.
And it hurts more than almost anything else he's ever felt.
"Okay."
no subject
Maybe that makes Radar a better person. He doesn't know. Hawk hasn't felt solid ground under him since he got that letter saying he'd have to march to Uncle Sam's tune those years ago. But some things you have to do, some ground you have to hold.
"Hey-" he reaches over, hating how well he seems to be doing at making Radar cry lately, "I wish I could be happy for you."
Mostly because he wishes Dahlia wasn't eating people, but still.
no subject
There's no accusation or bitterness in it. Just regret. He always pictured, whenever he finally met a girl, telling Hawkeye everything -- sharing all the things he loved about her and stories of all the dates they went on and maybe, just a little bit, a little kissing and telling so he could finally share that triumph if it ever happened. It was supposed to be a given that Hawkeye would be there to keep cheering him on. Now his whole future has shifted, opening up a chasm where Hawk's supposed to be and isn't.
Radar just hopes so desperately that he won't disappear from his life forever.
"I get why though," he tries to reassure him. "I do."
no subject
Ugh. Add it to the list of apologies he's going to have to make to his dad when he gets back. It is actually hard to watch some little twerp you care about make decisions you don't want them to.
"Remind me next year to not get you an argument for your birthday," he lightly grumbles.
no subject
"S'okay," he mumbles. "You got me a hat too." A pause, another quick scrub of his eyes. "And maybe you can get me two beers next year, since I'm gonna be twenty-one."
no subject
"Well, don't expect a second hat next year, you've only got one head that I know of," he jokes, lifting up the hat to ruffle his hair.
It doesn't even occur to Hawk that he wouldn't still be here with Radar in a year's time. Even if he hates this, even if he comes to hate Radar for being complicit in it, he'll still be here. If Radar has Dahlia covered, then Hawk just has to have Radar covered.
no subject
"Yeah, just one. Nothing too weird there yet."
He'd joke about some new island curse maybe making him grow a second head, but... it doesn't feel like that'd be too funny right now.
no subject
no subject
"C'mon, you think I wouldn't notice if I grew another head?"
no subject
Womp womp, Radar had to know it was coming.
no subject
Radar finally squirms away from him, back to the other side of the couch, and straightens his hat to cover the damage Hawk inflicted on his hair. It's probably twice as fluffy as usual after all that ruffling.
Wrap more or less here?
That settles it, then. He remembers that stretch of time when they weren't talking after the bad news, and he doesn't want that again. Even if Radar is in love with a monster. Hell- they've all been in bed with a great olive drab monster back home. Hawk can complain, he can rail against it, he can turn it to his advantage, he can protect the people he cares about from it the best he can, but he can't kill it. If anything, he has the skills to be up close to a real evil, now.
So if Radar is going to go through hell for this Dahlia lady, he'll be there with him. Not liking it, not approving, probably even complaining the whole way. But he's not leaving Radar alone again.
(Or being left alone again, for that matter.)
"Y'know, growing up suits you," he remarks by way of a peace offering for the bad joke, "you should have more birthdays after this one."