ph_logs | [OPEN] The world is spinning endlessly

Who: Siebren and friends
What: October Shenanigans
When:...October? Possibly also November
Where: Siebren's home, the
Warning(s): Potential cannibalism mentions, unreality, mental unwellness, memory manipulation (self-inflicted), more in comment titles

1. This is the sound of energy [Gala Aftermath]
You can't believe how easy it is. You just have to go... a little crazy. And then, suddenly, it all makes sense, and everything you do turns to gold.
He calls into work the morning after the gala. And a couple more days beyond that. In that time, he is
~~metamorphosing~~
~~assimilating~~
~~unpacking~~
~~digesting~~ everything that occurred that night. He stays at home, alone, trying to avoid everyone and everything.

much. It's too
The fragments of past that he's avoided for their sharpness rotate in him mind, turning their points toward him, crystal shards of time that threaten him. And yet, some part of him reaches out with Pandoran curiosity, like Sleeping Beauty toward the spindle. What he pricks isn't a finger, but he feels the pain just as instantly. And yet, and yet...

too much. It's
There it is, the multiple choice past solidifying in fractals, like frost spidering across a windowpane. Siebren has no way of knowing whether this is a correct past, but it is now his, memories feeling more stable than they have in years. Some things are lost, others are fake, but the end result is more real than anything he's been able to grasp before.

For three days, anyone approaching Siebren's home for any reason may hear, even from outside the building, the sounds of someone having a Bad Time™, with pained screams or furniture being thrown against walls as his gravitational powers pulse and fluctuate. For three days, he struggles.

And then, there is silence.

Traveling through the galaxy [The Library; CW vertigo]
Siebren returns to work. Nothing is wrong. He is fine. Can't you see how fine he is?

Somewhere, a book falls off a table and he flinches. And then, to anyone within a certain distance of him, the floor seems to fall away, in a dizzying cloud of galactic light, just for a moment, before he regains control, glancing around to see if anyone noticed.

Into eternity [Stargazing Night]
A notice goes up on the bulletin board, and letters are issued to penpals with explicit invitations: Crane's Ridge, 9pm on a given night. Bring snacks, drinks, something to sit on. Siebren will have his telescope and star charts.

He's brought some cheese and crackers and apple butter himself, as well, and is floating beside his big brass telescope, dressed in a comfortable sweater. For the moment, he is completely at ease. For the moment, nothing could possibly bother him.

Right?

A One Note Symphony [Wildcard]
Find me on Discord to plot, PM me, or just throw a thing!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Helen noticed, and startled so badly that she knocked over her own chair with a clatter. She rights it quickly, looking around in embarrassment and considerable alarm. She's not -- technically she shouldn't even be here, she got all the maps she needed last week. She knows where everything on the island is now, or close enough for her purposes, so she should be fine. It's just...

The library is quiet -- normally quiet -- and there's nearly always a couple there, employees or other patrons. It'd seemed like a good place to pass the time while she was on break. She wasn't expecting to be afflicted with visions of the, the galactic void or whatever that was!

Siebren hears the chair fall. Another wave of dizziness emanates from him before he moves around the shelf to see who’s here, nervous who might be exposed to his current state. Seeing Helen, he struggles to stammer out an apology.

“I didn’t mean to—ahm. I…are you alright?”

Oh, wonderful. The library worker she's been trying her hardest to unobtrusively avoid, since that supremely awkward (and horrifying) conversation in September. More horrifying than awkward now in the post-gala world, where she tastes that honey-sharp sweetness on the back of her tongue over and over until she didn't have any choice but to acknowledge what it was.

What does it mean, that fear tasted so sweet? What was happening to her?

"Fine, I'm fine," she tells him quickly, righting her chair and keeping it between them like a safety barrier. His safety, not hers. "Ah, did you happen to see...whatever that was just now?"

"The lights? The sound of the calliope? Directionality briefly losing meaning? Yes, I apologize. That was me." The taste of cotton candy and freeze-dried ice cream on her lips? Yes, that is him as well, in all his glory.

She stares at him, taken aback. She hadn't yet put it together, and even if she had she wouldn't have expected him to admit it.

"...Oh," she finally says faintly. "Are, uh...are you alright over there?"

"Alright is a swiftly moving target, these days. I'm functional. That will suffice for today." He tilts his head slightly, like he's hearing a faint snatch of music. "I think I have a greater understanding, now, why Sheogorath chose to hire you."

That knowing look? Ah, Helen's not a fan, at all at all.

"Is that so?" Her hands clutch tight at the back of the chair. "I appreciate the vote of confidence." Her laugh laugh is small and brittle; thank god it doesn't echo.

"Are you well-acquainted with our Sheogorath, then?" she asks, the familiar patter of small talk settling around her shoulders like a perfectly broken-in suit. "Only I don't think I've ever seen you by the shop...?"

"No, not at the shop. He tends to visit me in the library or out in town. Often as butterflies, but not always."

Siebren smiles faintly. "How did it happen, for you?"

"Oh, it was...it was my first day, actually," she says with a smile that she categorically won't allow to be shy. "I'd gone down to the boardwalk for some air, and he approached me. Thought we'd met before actually, on that cursed cruise ship dimension a few people are from? But even after we'd cleared that up, he..."

She shrugs, shoving her hands into her pockets. "He was kind to me. I needed to feel like someone was on my side, and he provided."

That isn't truly an answer to the question he was trying to ask, but the vagueness of the question was his own error.

"Do you still have the feeling that people aren't on your side, then?"

"I'm working on it," she assures him. "And I'm certainly not about to go around making it anyone else's problem." She's not. She just needs to get a hold of herself and keep her head down. Stay busy so she doesn't have time to think about the strange things happening inside her...

Siebren lets those words hang in the air for a moment before he speaks.

"You do see how silly working on that particular problem in isolation is, right?Unless what you hope to do is treat the feeling as wrong and attempt to excise it, rather than gathering community who may 'get it'."

"Nothing wrong with excise bad feelings," she says attempting to laugh it off. Her words scatter and fall flat to the floor like torn pieces of paper, and he just keeps looking at her...

"What?" she finally demands.

"Plenty. Plenty wrong with excising feelings. You should know better, you're of-the-mind as well. Another who has been twisted out of normal mindspace. Helen, lie to yourself as you please, but you can't bullshit a bullshitter, and you can't fool me about your nature."

Siebren shakes his head at her.

"Excuse me?" Helen takes a step back, glaring at him in offense to hide her discomfort. "I don't recall asking your opinion! Whatever my nature might be, I don't see how it's any business of yours."

"We are alike. It cannot not be my business. Someday, when you're ready, Helen, you and I will really talk. Perhaps sooner than you're ready, depending on how events play out."

That isn't a threat. It is, however, awfully foreboding.

"We're nothing alike." She steps back, sweeping her books up from the table with quick, unsteady motions. "I really don't know where you could have gotten that idea, but it's completely baseless. Please, just leave me alone."

"Fine. But I don't think this matter is complete yet."

Still, he'll let her go.

[OPEN] The world is spinning endlessly

Traveling through the galaxy

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