[OPEN] And so I'm having a wonderful time

[spaghettification]

Who: Siebren and You
What: Post-Cult Recovery, Information Dissemination and general Siebrenity
When:Mid-July
Where: Places and also locations
Warning(s): Discussion of mental health and trauma likely, along with cult event CWs. Also, heavy alcohol use.

1. A woman came up to me and said [Library]
Regardless of what's in Siebren's head, he still shows up to work. Sometimes, he focuses on simple matters; reshelving, cleaning, dealing with things that need him to be tol (or rather, to be not-grounded). Other times, he'll be at the reference desk, nose-deep into some sort of book. He's doing a very good job at presenting himself as stable and pushing himself to be useful. He's making a point of not isolating himself from his community.

Those who know him more than passingly, though, can tell he's distracted and a bit absent. Moments when he hangs like a bad internet connection. Perhaps it's time to check in on your local sad science grandpa.


2. I'd like to poison your mind [Oak and Iron]
If you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget.

Siebren is drinking. Heavily. He's alone at a table at the Oak and Iron, a bottle of wine and a single glass in front of him, and he is getting himself thoroughly shitfaced. For better or worse, he seems a quiet, depressive sort of drunk rather than a disruptive one (though his bottle occasionally floats over the table instead of sitting neatly on it). But this is clearly not a celebratory sort of drinking.

Still, if you acquire a glass from the staff, he might be encouraged to share, just so he's not drinking that whole bottle alone.


3. With wrong ideas that appeal to you [Empty Pockets Open Mic]
There's a song stuck in his head. Oh, it has been there for a while now, but now, it's stuck deeper than usual, running around the edges of his mind at all hours. Luckily, there are appropriate times and places to pass an earworm along. Like open mic night.

While he warms up with some Phillip Glass, some Satie, he jumps into the main event quickly, a look of concentration on his face as he draws down the music of the universe and plays it back.

Catch him after his performance, before he slips out the back door?


4. Though I am not unkind [Wildcard]
[As usual, darkersolstice on discord to plot. Or throw yourself at me, I'm easy.]

Comments

[spaghettification]

He shakes his head. "You don't have to tell me who you are, CT. But do remember that whoever you're hiding yourself away from in your world isn't here. You're safe to be who you want."

[liesdontfindyou]

"It's not about hiding." Not anymore. Even if they were here, even if they turned up, they already found her. They already know. It wouldn't even make a difference should she make it home, alive despite the odds, and get to resume her life on the run. "Those people already know everything about me. They've certainly already made up their minds about what I am. And I'm already who I need to be."

[spaghettification]

"Well. At least you're confident." He seems amused, but also a little concerned for her. Still, it's not like he knows her nearly well enough to pry, right?

[liesdontfindyou]

"I started out as a backwater colony kid who taught themself everything they knew. You get confident or you get ground down under someone's boot."

She says it casually enough, really, paired with a little shrug. It's true, even if it's not the whole truth. Really, her life would be almost easier if she was just an Innie from some backwater colony—she's sure that's what the others think of her now, anyway.

"Like we said. Circumstance can teach us a lot of things."

[spaghettification]

"Yes, yes it can. You're from further along than me, if there's enough colonies for some to be backwaters. We barely had established one on the moon, in my time. And it...failed catastrophically. I spent time there, briefly."

He sighs. "Neither of our universes seem to be good ones, CT."

[liesdontfindyou]

"It certainly seems that way." Her arms fold loosely under her chest and she pulls at her sleeve instead of scratching her palm. "Last I knew it was 2550. Humanity began stretching its way across the stars centuries ago. By the time they got to us in the Outers they cared more about resources than the people they'd shipped out to mine them. Rebellious sentiments were and are common. And then when I was four a war broke out with an alien faction."

Another shrug. "It hasn't been a pleasant twenty-five years."

[spaghettification]

Siebren watches her a moment.

"I would tell you some of my own circumstances, but I do not want you to think I'm trying to one-up the struggles you have endured."

[liesdontfindyou]

A faint smile tugs at her lips. "It's fine, Siebren. Go ahead."

[spaghettification]

"A younger, curious, hungry earth run by megacorps. A crisis caused by the enlightenment of the inorganics that had been made to serve humanity, demanding their independence. An international group known as Overwatch worked to provide oversight and security. Before I came here, I was...in use as a human weapon, belonging to a terrorist organization. I died defending a billionaire's property from Overwatch's attempt to halt him funding the aforementioned terrorists."

[liesdontfindyou]

CT winces sympathetically. The picture being painted in her head between that description and his experiences being a test subject isn't a pretty one at all. "...I wish that sounded less plausible than it did."

Some stories from other worlds sound wild and fantastical, and even if she accepts them at face value, there's still a moment where she can't quite believe it's all real. Not this one.

"I'm guessing you didn't have a lot of options."

[spaghettification]

"Not at that point in my life, no. It's not where I started out, though. I was once worthy of respect. I was." He shakes his head slowly. "But. That was a long time ago."

[liesdontfindyou]

CT's quiet for a moment. Considering. Then offers: "The organisation I spent half a decade working for turned out to be risking humanity's existence for the sake of their own selfish wants. I should've seen it coming from the start, but I didn't. They got me out of a prison term. So I put on blinders, when once upon a time I would sooner have died."

She exhales. Leans against the desk.

"Clearly, we're not the same people we were before our circumstances changed. But I'm not sure I'd go as far as to say we don't deserve respect because of it."

Says the person who won't accept themself as worthy of any of their own respect if they don't meet their own unhealthy standards.

[spaghettification]

"I knew what Talon was when they broke me out of the facility I was being held in. At the time, I'd have done anything, to secure my release. But. Serving their goals was not freedom, and they didn't want Dr. Siebren de Kuiper. They wanted Sigma."

He lets out his own heavy sigh, leans in so his forehead is almost touching hers.

"What can we do here, to redeem ourselves?"

[liesdontfindyou]

"Well. We've already thrown ourselves into the open maw of a blatant trap for the sake of doing, or learning— something. I don't think we're exactly on the wrong path."

Doing what she can here feels like a good start, towards whatever end point it is she's trying to reach—even she's not sure of that.

[spaghettification]

"I think you're just a clever boefje who doesn't mind a risk for the sake of the information it provides. I've known your type before." That comes out sounding inordinately fond.

[liesdontfindyou]

CT quirks a brow and the corner of her mouth matches it. "Boefje. What's that translate as? I know four languages but I guess yours isn't one of them, and I need to decide how flattered or insulted to be."

[spaghettification]

"Dutch, and it's, oh...scoundrel, but adorable. So more like, ah...rascal. Imp? The sort of thing you call your friend who is an internationally feared hacker working for a terrorist organization but who also might be part cat."

[liesdontfindyou]

CT considers her words momentarily, then doesn't bother to dodge, just says, "Well, I certainly wasn't that well known, but this friend of yours sounds like a character."

And she can't deny they're of the same, or at least a similar, type.

[spaghettification]

"She was. She went by the name Sombra, and it suited her perfectly. I miss her with my whole heart. I hope you'll forgive me for seeking friendship in you because you're similar to her."

[liesdontfindyou]

"Shadow. Fitting." Though just saying the word makes her think of Texas, a thought she shakes away quickly. "There's nothing to forgive, really. I don't mind."

It's certainly a kinder reason than how often she's found herself thinking about how she needs allies, rather than just... accepting friendship as it is.