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i've been having dreams jumping on a trampoline
Who: Ava, some books, 6, and open
What: farm research, some gardening, and succumbing to a rather painful death
When: late March, early April
Where: library, the farm
Warnings: Ava's dying, most of the prompts are dealing with that. first prompt is the most neutral
i. trip and i fall in, i wanted it to happen
Ava spends plenty of time researching in the library, especially when it's too rainy out to do much else. Taking notes in her own little book, things she learns about bees and honey, about horses and trees and soil and fertilizing and crops... pest control and pruning and harvest. There's so much more to this than she thought. She's not trying to maximize profits by increasing yields on some industrial level, but she does want to make sure they have something to show for their efforts, come autumn.
And some days she might sneak in a romance novel, casually watching other visitors over the edge of the pages she flips through, trying to get to the good parts.
ii. my body turns to ice, crushing weight of paradise
But as the days pass, her condition considerably worsens. She struggles to pull a book on herbs out when her fingers refuse to connect with the spine, and eventually gets so frustrated that she ends up swiping an entire row of books off the shelf. They crash to the floor, and Ava startles in surprise. She stares down at the mess, embarrassed. And then kicks at a book.
iii. solid block of gold, lying in the cold
After that, Ava retreats back to the farm. Doesn't dare go into town again, she's rapidly falling apart and doesn't want to bring more attention and questions to it. She knows she only has days left. Everything hurts, and she can hardly focus on reading anymore. Her vision blurs just as badly as the rest of her.
But she refuses to spend it curled up in bed feeling sorry for herself. Instead she stays out in the small garden plots around the cottage, digging in wet dirt, planting rows of seeds for various herbs and spices. She's slow at it, but it's soothing, connecting with the earth, feeling it between her fingers.
She's happy enough for any company, any distraction.
iv. i feel right at home
(closed to 6, cw death)
Eventually the pain becomes far too crippling, motions too discordant to properly coordinate her limbs. She lays as still as possible in the damp grass while staring up at the starry sky, clutching at Peter's hand as long as she can manage. She hates him seeing her like this. She'd hate it more if she had to go through this alone. Each breath is a weak whimper, accompanied by erratic glitching, particle by particle more of her form fading out and not coming back.
What: farm research, some gardening, and succumbing to a rather painful death
When: late March, early April
Where: library, the farm
Warnings: Ava's dying, most of the prompts are dealing with that. first prompt is the most neutral
i. trip and i fall in, i wanted it to happen
Ava spends plenty of time researching in the library, especially when it's too rainy out to do much else. Taking notes in her own little book, things she learns about bees and honey, about horses and trees and soil and fertilizing and crops... pest control and pruning and harvest. There's so much more to this than she thought. She's not trying to maximize profits by increasing yields on some industrial level, but she does want to make sure they have something to show for their efforts, come autumn.
And some days she might sneak in a romance novel, casually watching other visitors over the edge of the pages she flips through, trying to get to the good parts.
ii. my body turns to ice, crushing weight of paradise
But as the days pass, her condition considerably worsens. She struggles to pull a book on herbs out when her fingers refuse to connect with the spine, and eventually gets so frustrated that she ends up swiping an entire row of books off the shelf. They crash to the floor, and Ava startles in surprise. She stares down at the mess, embarrassed. And then kicks at a book.
iii. solid block of gold, lying in the cold
After that, Ava retreats back to the farm. Doesn't dare go into town again, she's rapidly falling apart and doesn't want to bring more attention and questions to it. She knows she only has days left. Everything hurts, and she can hardly focus on reading anymore. Her vision blurs just as badly as the rest of her.
But she refuses to spend it curled up in bed feeling sorry for herself. Instead she stays out in the small garden plots around the cottage, digging in wet dirt, planting rows of seeds for various herbs and spices. She's slow at it, but it's soothing, connecting with the earth, feeling it between her fingers.
She's happy enough for any company, any distraction.
iv. i feel right at home
(closed to 6, cw death)
Eventually the pain becomes far too crippling, motions too discordant to properly coordinate her limbs. She lays as still as possible in the damp grass while staring up at the starry sky, clutching at Peter's hand as long as she can manage. She hates him seeing her like this. She'd hate it more if she had to go through this alone. Each breath is a weak whimper, accompanied by erratic glitching, particle by particle more of her form fading out and not coming back.
no subject
But she's unable to help with the pick up, stands back and allows Valdis to do so as she wraps her arms around her torso and shudders with pain. "I didn't..." She wants to vanish in shame. She's afraid to do so, because pulling herself back together is getting harder and harder.
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The Eterna had been a miserable place, but at least some aspects had been stable for Ava.
"Shall I meet you outside in a few minutes?"
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Ava nods gratefully, and hurries out to hide back behind the library, gasping in and out a bit unevenly until she can get a grip on the pain.
no subject
The breath of air, crisp and real allows her to center herself, and she hopes it does the same for Ava, but the woman isn't waiting outside the doors. With another breath, she finds the scent and follows it back behind the building.
"Hey," she says, quietly approaching.
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She wants to reach for Ava's hand, but she knows if they can't touch each other, her friend will be even more upset. One thing she never had to worry about was fading away in pain, without the ability to be comforted.
"Is...they anything else I can do?"
no subject
"It's worse. Than I remember." Because she doesn't have her suit to protect her organs from the side effects, help her control the phasing. She doesn't have her chamber to go into for stabilization. She has nothing.
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"Let me know when you can't take it anymore, and I will help you go back to the beginning as peacefully as I can."
It's not a permanent solution, and it's not one she likes, but better than leaving Ava to suffer until she deteriorates completely.
no subject
"No, I... we. Need to know. How many days I have. So we can properly plan. Around it."
And she has to let 6 witness the finality of it, so if he decides to go through with the ring, with taking her place, he fully understands... but she hasn't told anyone about that. She's not sure they'd understand.
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"I know, Valdis. I really wish it wasn't like this... but. I knew this was what waited for me. I got to be selfish for a little while, while everyone else suffered." She got to benefit from the world everyone else hated.
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She can't imagine he's just going to sit by and watch her deteriorate and die over and over again. Damn hero that he is, he's probably searching for a way to take it on himself. He's definitely the type to die for someone else as many times as it takes instead of finding a real answer.
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Valdis doesn't know how much other people care, but she has no desire to sit by and watch it happen over and over again.
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She vanishes. But doesn't move.
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Yet every single trace of emotion in her voice and demeanor has vanished. Perhaps she's being unfair, but once again, how she feels has been readily dismissed, Ava doesn't care, so there's no more point in trying.
"And I'm sorry that the fact I care isn't convenient for you, I shall endeavor to leave such feelings behind moving forward since it's such a burden for both of us and you have made it clear you don't require my help."
Emotions in general be damned.
no subject
She's a burden. Valdis doesn't want to hear it, doesn't want to have to witness her like this. It's fair. She's a cursed and miserable thing to be around, clinging to a life that she doesn't deserve.
She presses against the wall and through, escaping back into the library.