[OPEN] Inner Glow

[graveling]

Who: Angel and Y'all
What: Springtime shenanigans
When:Anytime between mid-March and the April Event
Where: Various
Warning(s): Mention of minor non-specific injury in first prompt.

1. Got to fill your cup and find the way out of your own maze [Temple]
Whatever one's reason for stopping by the Temple of Sacred Roots, there's a decent chance to find Angel there. Right now, he's doing a lot of cleaning that Degas hasn't had the energy or strength for--dusting high shelves and cabinets, taking down curtains to be washed, doing windows. After all, his beehives are mostly getting situated right now, so he has some extra time to turn to the physical space of the temple.

If you hear singing from where he's working, well. Yes, you absolutely do, but he'll pretend otherwise if called on it.

And perhaps you come on a day where Angel's sustained some minor injury, and there's an unmistakable golden glow as a cut or bruise heals. He does not bleed blood, but on sanctified ground, he bleeds light.


2. Now there's a category for every song [Flowers?]
Angel thought he knew what he planted on the farm, in terms of flowers. But something's popping up, especially near the beehives, that's unfamiliar. Pointed clusters of teal-blue flowers that seem eerily, perfectly bee-sized. It concerns him a little, which is going to lead to Research.

Perhaps you find him in the library, trawling through books about plants. Or if you're known to be a scientist or druidic sort, you're likely to be approached by Angel with a sample in hand. Either way, he's got some funky plants he doesn't yet understand.


3. Don't keep your aching, celebrating, wonder-making heart alone [Wildcard]
Find me on Discord to plot or just throw anything at me!

Comments

temple, early April, juust before the rains start

[pineapplesalmon]

César visits the temple on his day off. He's quiet and contemplative, and he can hear Angel (?) singing as he walks up to the statue of Mortanne. Yes, that's definitely Angel.

It's nice.

Eventually, he has a break in thought and Angel seems to be switching tasks, and he smiles at him. "Hey, Angel."

[graveling]

"Heya. Here on business, or...?"

Angel cannot blush at the thought that perhaps his singing was heard, but his grip on the broom he's holding and the set of his shoulders communicates defensiveness.

[pineapplesalmon]

"Neither business nor pleasure. Just... taking some time to work through some emotions." César notes the defensiveness, and his smile softens. "Your singing helped."

[graveling]

"Oh. Good, then, I guess. I, uh. Wasn't expecting anyone to be listening right then."

Angel leans on the broom in a way that isn't quite casual, but is trying hard to seem to be.

"Emotions?"

[pineapplesalmon]

"I did come in pretty quiet." César takes a casual lean against the wall himself. "Quite a few. March sure kept the old mind and heart busy."

[graveling]

"Okay, you're going to need to give me more cues here. Did you come here to stew alone under the watchful eyes of the goddesses or to talk about it with a staff member of the temple?"

...he's very good at the holy part of being a priest, it's the everything else he's still working on, as seen here.

[pineapplesalmon]

César rubs the back of his neck, giving an embarrassed laugh. "I honestly don't know what I want or need. You're not missing any cues, because I don't have a clue myself. It's the first time I've navigated grief."

[graveling]

"Grief." Angel repeats the word quietly. "Okay. I don't know the 'right' answer, but I have an answer. C'mon, we're visiting Mortanne's altar."

Though he takes a longer route, that allows for him to grab a box of matches and a couple candlesticks and holders.

[pineapplesalmon]

Candles. It's been forever since he's lit one himself. "... Any answer is a start."

He follows quietly, then adds. "Love, too. ... It's why I can even step into the temple."

[graveling]

“Love is a pretty intense feeling, too. Big. It can make you feel like you’re falling and flying at the same time. But let’s talk about grief, first. See, Mother Mortanne isn’t just the goddess of death, she’s also the goddess of mourning, the comfort to the widow and the orphan.”

Angel sets up the candles, and then hands César the box of matches.

“Because it’s okay to grieve, it’s as holy as it is to live and to die and to grow.”

[pineapplesalmon]

César takes the box of matches. He knows what to do with them. Knowing what to do with grief is harder. After what seems like an eternity when it's only a handful of seconds, César opens up the box and pulls out a match, sliding the box back closed.

"It feels like it'll strangle me, sometimes. But only feels. I'm not alone here like I was back home." César says quietly as he strikes the match. "I keep asking myself: can you be an orphan at 28?"

He gently puts down the box and uses his now freed hand to protect the flame as he goes to light the first candle, and then he smiles sadly. "... grief is holy. It's too bad the rest of the multiverse doesn't understand that."

[graveling]

"You can be an orphan at any age. You're feeling it, living the experience of having been orphaned." Angel remains nearby, watching César's hands and the candles rather than staring at his face. "Do you want to tell me about them? Your parents, I mean."

[pineapplesalmon]

"Violeta and Rafael." César starts lighting the other candles. "Scientists. I wanted to be like them. I did end up like them. On the same project together, trying to make the world a better place."

He pauses for a moment. "I lost everything the day they died, my old self, my entire family. My baby brother lost his memories, too. He's a different person. He's amazing. And I'm proud of him. But I lost five years of time in fifteen minutes. Rex isn't ten. He's sixteen. The entire world moved on without me, and back home, even before everything went to hell, I was... adrift. The world forgot me. Forgot my parents. It's like my grief has nowhere to go back home."

[graveling]

"It's at home in your heart, and you get to feel it now, in all its depth. To baby it a little if you need to, and acknowledge it. At least...I think so. I dunno--I never had parents. Tell me some more about yours? What made them so amazing?"

His goal is to get César talking in more depth. He doesn't actually know what he's doing. But he's trying.

[pineapplesalmon]

"Home is where the heart is... and I guess in this case, it's in my chest." César almost jokes, but it's not truly a joke.

He lights the last candle and blows the match out, then hands the matchbox back to Angel. It helps to talk about them. The way Angel asks, the way everyone asks here... it's about how his parents are still alive through him.

"They accepted my whole being. Made sure I grew up knowing I was loved and how to love everyone else. People like me... often get disconnected from others. Lose themselves entirely to their work. But I didn't. They made sure I knew family was important. When I did things that seemed strange, they asked me why I did it rather than condemning me. I... was happy."

His last part comes out a bit choked, and his voice is a bit strangled as he continues. "People here... they accept me as readily as my parents did. Especially Magne. I... could go on and on about her. ... ... ... My parents emphasized I needed to find someone who accepted my whole self. They were worried about me that way, too. I've always been a gentle man. The wrong person could take advantage of that if I was in the wrong frame of mind."

César looks up from the statue, rolling the extinguished match between his finger and thumb. "Not exactly a worry anymore. I think my parents might find peace soon. They might not need to worry about me soon."

He doesn't draw attention to the tears starting to slip down his cheeks. "I miss them."

[graveling]

"Even when you feel secure and you know they don't need to worry, you're going to miss them. Maybe worse, because you know they'd want to celebrate your success, your finding a place you're happy."

Angel looks at the candles, then sidelong at César.

"Do you think you'd be happier, if you didn't have the memory of them to miss?"

[pineapplesalmon]

César starts hard at that last question, and there's a rise of panic for a moment, one that he needs a moment to recover from. He lets out a shaky laugh and shakes his head as he rubs at his eyes with a back of his hand.

"... going to say a 'no' to the amnesia being better. Without the memories of my parents... I would've just died, back home. I would've been lost, here." He drops his hand to rub at his arm instead. "... I see momentary sparks of their lives when I talk to others about them. And more than one person here has been comforting to know that there were good parents, somewhere, somewhen. Their memories aren't just for me."

He looks down at the match. "It's like this match. It's flame is out... but it lit many candles, and they still burn."

[graveling]

"They still burn. You still burn."

Angel nods slightly, approvingly.

"Their love is something you get to pass on to others. It's good."

[pineapplesalmon]

Now César has more tears to deal with, so he covers his face with his palm and croaks out: "... And I can accept love from others in return."

A pause for breath, and then he can say so much more. "I can be the man Magne needs me to be because of them. But not just her. How to love people. How to be a source of safety and compassion. How to be a big brother and a friend."

[graveling]

"Do you need a glass of water and a handkerchief?"

Practical concerns.

[pineapplesalmon]

César gives a singular laugh. "... wouldn't be a bad idea." A breath. "I think I'll be at this a bit."

[graveling]

"You get to take your time. I'll be right back."

He comes back with cold water and a hanky after a few minutes.

[pineapplesalmon]

When Angel comes back, César is silently crying into his hand.

[graveling]

Angel watches, not sure if he should get close, should offer a hug, should reassure Cesar it's okay to cry aloud. So instead he ends up doing none of those and just. Zombie stares.

[pineapplesalmon]

César looks up to see where Angel had gone and startles a bit when he realizes Angel's already back. That prompts another short laugh despite the tears.

"... sorry." He flashes a brief smile, then looks down at his wet hand. "Thank you. I-I could probably use the handkerchief first."