Mingle - Emergency Potluck

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WELCOME POTLUCK

Greetings, residents! Those more observant sorts among you may have noticed a large influx of very crowded ferries. In order to welcome our new residents en masse, Town Hall is holding a potluck in Town Square. Please bring a dish if you are able and make a new friend!

All of our newest arrivals need only bring themselves. We look forward to welcoming you all into our community, and may your lanterns always be lit.

This event is open to all! In light of our new influx of prospective players following the Great Sail Migration, we've decided to offer a small public event to tide everyone over until the TDM this weekend.

Comments

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis releases her breath with a tiny laugh.

"From where I'm standing, you're the one who's back," she teases. "It's better here, Erin. Everything is better. I had become so resigned and stagnant, but here? Here I can fight, I'm not restrained, I'm not in pain. There's so much more that my abilities aren't suffocating me. It's not perfect, this place is no paradise, but there is a possibility for hope."

[crushed_pearls]

"Yeah..." A ghostly smile, against Valdis's skin. "I can feel it too. Spring is here. She's waking up, she'll be here soon, it's been so long..."

"I'm gonna touch so many plants when I'm feeling better."

Beat.

"Oh shit you can feel how fucked I am right now."

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis shakes her head.

"It's fine, Erin. As I said, there's so much here that it's easier to redirect focus. The Eterna wore me down to the point that I couldn't get away, but there's many place here, and many people. It cancels out, like back home. Makes it easier to be present with people."

[crushed_pearls]

There's a soft nod, and a long silence. Erin's struggling with something inside, a knot of fear and worry that has been a familiar companion. It was silenced, once, for awhile, and then...then everything with Maxwell, and Tiamat, and...

"...Are we okay?" Erin whispers, in her smallest voice, barely audible to human senses.

[redlightgreenlight]

"I..."

Valdis doesn't want to lie to Erin, but her feelings on everything are so complicated she's not even sure where they will land.

"I don't know, Erin. Part of me wanted to leave everything that happened on the Eterna behind. There was so much pain at the end. I was eager for a new start, a new life. I wanted another chance for happiness, and I don't know if my feelings are the same as they were. I need time to figure it out." She squeezes Erin again. "I still care for you."

[crushed_pearls]

("You don't have an off switch.")

I'll kill us both head voice, not now. What the fuck were you expecting, a simple answer?

(We hoped.)

Wishes in one hand and shit in the other.

Out loud, through the lance of pain in her chest: "I get it. I don't want to, but I get it. You know I'll come if you call, for anything."

Erin pulls back, rests her head against Valdis's.

Breathes.

"...There's going to be a lot of people to mourn."

[redlightgreenlight]

"If nothing else, you are still a close friend and that will never change."

Though it's not as sharp as in the past, she still feels Erin's pain, but it won't sway her. She needs to be her own person again and even if it hurts, Valdis knows that Erin understands and would support her if she were able to voice it.

"Perhaps not as many as you think, but I was lucky that I found Ylva when I did. It helped."

[crushed_pearls]

"Yeah. She found me after...well, you saw." Faceplant of the year award goes to Erin. "I might be a bit finding my feet, but...don't let me avoid people. There's a lot of avoiding to be had, and it's. Scary. I haven't been around normal people in so god damn long."

[redlightgreenlight]

"Everyone has been friendly so far, I don't think they will let you avoid them."

[crushed_pearls]

"Please, Valdis. It'll mean more, coming from you. I can't bullshit you. Not even if I wanted to."

[redlightgreenlight]

"I'll do what I can, Erin. I want to support you." she replies slowly, debating over if she should really voice her further concerns. "But I can't be your emotional center, so please don't ask that of me."

[crushed_pearls]

Gently, so gently, Erin takes Valdis's hands. "I never wanted that," she murmurs. "Asking anyone to be my rock is...insane. No one could ever do that, I have to figure my own shit out. I. Valdis...I don't want you as my minder or a guard dog or even a queen. I just. When it mattered most, I let you in, and it hurt when I wasn't let in too. That's." She swallows, hard. Wrenches her head away to shake it violently. "That's all."

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis holds her breath, then withdraws her hands from Erin's, all warmth gone.

"I let you push boundaries because I thought I loved you, but now I see that nothing I gave would have been enough."

She takes a step back.

"You were never going to be satisfied."

[crushed_pearls]

"No..." Erin shakes her head again, sucks in a ragged breath -

Calm. Calm it. Don't...

A sob hitches her chest, and she steps back. "I - I'm sorry, I'm. Raw. I'll. I'll be around, I -"

She turns, to flee back into the potluck, to ask where she's staying for the night. This wasn't the time, she shouldn't have said anything but when everything hurts it's so much harder to pick out the wounds that need to wait, and she's - she's been stupid again.

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis doesn't follow, or even try to reassure Erin as the woman flees. She's not responsible for the feelings others have, and it's easier to see that now. Even if it hurts.