ph_logs | what arms have lain under my head til morning? [mixed]

"Ryja -- sweetheart --" Now that she's awake Tarantulas feels if anything, even more panicked; how is he supposed to handle this? Ryja can see the future, what if it doesn't work?

He puts his hands on her shoulders, taking a deep breath. "I did something very foolish. I know it was wrong, but I had my reasons, and I promise I'll explain everything later, all right?" He searches her eyes for any hint of recognition. "For now please just believe me that it was necessary, and that I need your help." He swallows nervously. "I need you to talk to River for me."

Ryja can see the future, and this presents a problem. Because what she sees? What she sees is blood.

So. Much. Blood.

Tarantulas is going to be hurt, and soon, and what can she do? Her vision doesn't tell her more. In another life, it's visions like this that eventually lead to a change in her approach to her talent... In this one, it worries and scares her and when a Viera is scared, she wants to fight.

And he explains, without explaining, and she becomes more concerned. Because she can believe that River would do something that would cause all of that blood... But only if Tarantulas did something to deserve it. But she doesn't believe her surprise would make a mistake that badly, without something driving it.

"Right now?" The mask gets settled in place properly, and her tome pulled from the table beside her. Just in case.

"Yes. Right now. River might be here any second --" Tarantulas slides his feet, grabbing Ryja's hand to tug her up as well -- but on a sudden impulse he suddenly throws his arms around her waist, squeezing her tightly and burying his face in her soft flesh.

"I love you," he exclaims, the sound falling from his lips like the groan of a wounded beast. "Ryja, I love you. Never forget that, I beg you."

Tara's flesh swelling, splitting, and that's... Nothing River would do. Ryja has to believe that. If Tarantulas was in imminent danger from River, there would be fire, or death. Which doesn't mean River isn't about to try and burn him.

His arms around her, she wraps hers around him without thinking, and holds him tight, clutches to him before gently leaning back. "... You have done something... terrible. Tell me why, later." It's not a request.

Because what she definitely shouldn't be seeing is an empty space where Dawn's portrait is meant to be, and that is definitely what she is seeing.

Tarantulas flinches, and the look he casts Ryja's way is full of guilt and terror -- but also a mad determination. The look of someone who's come too far to turn from their path now. "I will," he tells her anxiously. "I'll tell you everything. But for now, please --"

He lets go and steps out of her way, one hand and two of his spider-paws pointing towards the front door. "I just need you to talk to her," comes the anxious rider.

"Then I shall." Ryja steadies herself. Arguing with people she cares about is not something she's good at. Being between River and Tarantulas... Genuinely, it's scary. Not that she fears River would hurt her... but that she might change her mind. And that would hurt far more than being burned.

And out she goes, tome at her side, mask steady on her face, ears back in nervousness.

She's so strong. So brave, and so beautiful in her bravery. It occurs to Tarantulas that he doesn't deserve her. Perhaps he never did.

Perhaps he never will.

But there is no time for hesitation, not while his child is waiting to be born. He follows behind Ryja, and once she's crossed the threshold of his front door -- that is the moment he strikes. One of his spider's legs, long and multi-jointed, arches over her head and grabs her mask. With her ears pinned back, it's even easier to snatch it right off her head than he thought it would be.

And before Ryja can turn back, he's already slammed the door shut and locked it behind her. Trapping her outside with her face exposed for everyone to see.

Instinct nearly has her duck away. Nearly. But it's Tarantulas, and she trusts him. So when his spider leg arches over her head she suppresses the Viera trained response, which would be to grab and halt his movement, possibly cause harm in the process, duck away, stay on the offensive, do not trust.

It's that which she thinks of at first. How for once that instinct which got her into so much trouble in Eorzea would have actually helped. Would have kept him from doing this. She can hear the disappointed voices of her teachers. And then she hears the click, and she can't go back inside, can't go hide in her den, and she doesn't understand.

Ryja's frozen, stunned, staring out at the world with her ears pulled all the way back. If there was an active threat, she could fight. If it wasn't Tarantulas, maybe she'd turn around and start hammering on the door until it shattered. But she can't, because the first and loudest thought in her head is just the word *"Why?!" over and over again.

And when she does finally bring herself to move, it's to dart forward, blindly. Viera are not prey, not truly... And yet she feels like it, right now, pausing after a short burst of movement, eyes wide, looking back and forth.

River's arrival is preceded by the sounds of bony claws and her boots against the cobbles. She is not being quiet, and not being discreet; indeed, she calls out Tarantulas's name with a deep fury as she approaches, with promises of a quick death if he stops running right now. Her skeletal wolf bounds into view first, jaws clacking and clattering as it tries - and fails - to bay and howl, but River isn't far behind. Sword in hand, face a mask of hate -

She drops the sword when she spots Ryja; River whistles for the wolf to sit while she bounds over to the rabbit, putting herself between Ryja and onlookers. "Hold on," she murmurs, voice all concern, her rage - not forgotten, but definitely pushed back on the list of things to handle.

River unclasps her cloak and sweeps it from her shoulders to offer it to Ryja. It won't fit, the hood is no mask...but surely it's better than nothing?

Panicked or not, Ryja freezes on seeing the wolf. She knows River has the wolf, but years of Eorzea has her hand at her side, at her tome, because creatures like that never mean anything good, except. Except there's River. And she's so angry. Fire and death, her fury chases around her like a violent smoke-cloud, Ryja's sight has never been this indistinct, this scattered.

The sword clatters to the ground, the sound piercing through the haze. And River is safe, except right now, she's angry. With preparation, if it had been her choice to unmask, Ryja could handle that. Without it, betrayed, Ryja has to cover her face, unable to look. She hears the clasp, hears the movement of the cloak, holds her hands out in the exact right direction.

The hood doesn't fit at all, as it turns out. Bunny ears don't work well with such things. Ryja just shakily pulls the cloak up more, until it almost covers her face. Her eyes, basically all River might see, are filled with tears, but she's not crying.

"What did he do to you?" River murmurs, trying, so hard, to keep the rage out of her voice. "What happened, Ryja? Actually, no, hold on...if I'm with you, can you endure the trip back to my house?"

Safety. Privacy. A place to be indoors instead of out amongst everyone stripped bare like this.

Ryja nods, shaking, not even managing to stammer out a yes. It's just like before she left, before she discovered herself. Right back to being unable to say a word. There's so much anger in River's ... everything. Her scent, her breathing. Keeping it out of her voice doesn't work when Ryja's senses are hyper-sensitive from fear.

But she knows it's not at her. She just can't process that yet.

Edited 2024-03-31 20:02 (UTC)

River turns to the wolf and issues a series of commands in her native language, the normally musical flow of it turned into sharp rises and barks. This done, it falls into a protective position near Ryja, and River puts her arm around the viera and goes to guide her back to River's home.

The only stop is to scoop up her sword.

Ryja is quiet the whole way there, and once inside, lets out a shuddering breath. "Th-thank you." She's going to find a wall and put her forehead against it. Hides her face, lets her think... But she doesn't want to leave River's side, either. Because River's safe.

"I..." What does she even say? Why should it matter, this time? Just because he succeeded where others got bruised wrists?

Tarantulas escapes through the back door, transforming and scurrying off into the woods as fast as he can with Ryja's mask still clutched in one pedipalp. The loss of his house and shop would be a major blow, but he prefers it to hanging around to see what River's reaction will be. He'll hide in the cave, he thinks. Its disorienting effects will keep anyone else from following his trail -- but it's not to be.

Tucked up against his chitin by a length of wire, the bloodstone cracks in two, and Tarantulas's spark pulses in his chest.

He gasps in sudden agony, an involuntary transformation nearly sending him crashing face-first into a tree. He clutches at the trunk, shocked gasps of pain falling from his throat. It hurts, like nothing else has ever hurt before in all his long checkered life. His spark is being squeezed in a vice --

He falls to his knees as the pain suddenly peaks -- a warmth like blood flows down into his stomach -- there's a writhing, as if a court of worms have taken up residence in his flesh -- and then, his stomach begins to swell --

Oh. Oh Primus, it's really happening.

"Erik!" he shrieks at the top of his lungs, throwing dignity and indeed, his own personal safety to the winds. "Erik, please! I need your help!"

Tarantulas?! Erik leaps to action without a second thought. He's at home, only dressed halfway in a simple shirt and trousers, so he shoves his feet into his shoes and races out the door just as soon as they're tied. He's barely more than a blur as he streaks forward following the faint scent of Tarantulas on the air. It's growing stronger, laced with pungent fear and pain, until at last the spider comes into view.

"Tarantulas, what's happened?!" He's kneeling at Tarantulas's side now, horror in his eyes as he notices the man's bloating stomach. He can hear something like... a second heartbeat. Dear God.

"What have you done?!"

"Something -- hhhh -- something wonderful." Tarantulas looks up, his yellow eyes alight with something like religious mania. When he grins, his teeth are stained with his own, peculiar green blood; when he reaches out and grips Erik's arm, his hands show white knuckles through the fur. "At last, I've achieved...something I feared would be unrepeatable --"

He chokes, clutching at his stomach. A spasm rocks his body, and he coughs up a mouthful of blood at the ground by Erik's feet. "I need," he groans, voice thick with pain and damaged tissues, "I need Sally. Sally Boyle. She's the only one with the -- hngh! -- the necessary expertise -- Erik! Please take me to her...I fear I won't make it on my own..."

Tarantulas dislikes unnecessary injury, but his pain tolerance is high; for him to declare himself unable to get himself somewhere he needs to be, the pain setting his limbs to shaking must be...astronomical.

A long and hollowed-out scream is building in the back of Erik's mind. That second set of vital signs were not just in his imagination. What had Tarantulas done to achieve this? There's madness in the spider's eyes that speaks of so many evils that could have been committed to bring this to wrought. But here he is at Erik's feet trusting in the vampire to get him to his best chance at success. Tarantulas is at his mercy, and mercy he shall have.

"I was an orphan. I won't allow you to create another one."

He scoops Tarantulas up in his arms as easily as a feather, and as soon as he's sure his hold is secure he races off to Sally's home. He can't go at his top speed, or even close to it, because he cannot risk what it might do to this rapidly developing pregnancy.

Every extra second it takes is agony to both of them. But, at last, they make it to their destination. Erik can't use a hand to knock so he bellows louder than a car horn, "Sally Boyle open your door!"

At the last possible second Tarantulas remembers to snatch up Ryja's mask and hold it close to his chest, his spider's legs curling up tightly around his shoulders and chest to better fit within Erik's arms.

"I owe you all such an enormous debt of gratitude," he begins to mutter, the writhing of his flesh loosening his lips. "Everyone who -- contributed to this moment --" He whimpers again, panting through his teeth. "I'll admit! Some of my -- selections -- were made in part with vengeance in mind, but! That's all in the past now. How can I fail to forgive the people who helped me make this possible?"

He grinds his face into Erik's chest as the stretched-thin skin of his stomach begins to pulse with the thrashing limbs of some tiny creature. "It doesn't matter what happens to me anymore!" he snarls. "I'll accept any consequence, except those that would bring harm or separate me from this precious child!"

Despite his agony, it would be impossible to detect any insincerity in his voice.

Sally opens up to see what all the hubbub is about, looking surprised. "Erik? Tarantulas? What's going o--- Oh good Lord." She immediately staggers back at the--- oh goodness, the wriggling inside of Tarantulas' gut. She doesn't even recognize this for what it is at first; sure, it's pretty common for pregnant folks to feel some kicking, but this is far from normal.

"What's going on?" She stands aside anyway. She knows she can call someone if she needs help but leaving them outside while she demands an explanation won't do any good. They can walk and talk.

"I'll remind you of these words when this is done," Erik says through gritted teeth. How many people did Tarantulas hurt to achieve this? How many? He needs to check on River.

Erik cannot blame Sally for her reaction. It's about on par with his own. But he wastes no time walking through the door with Tarantulas still hunched in his arms. "I don't know how, but he is in labor. He asked me to bring him here to you. Please tell me you know what to do? The state of things as they are, I worry his spawn may rips its way out of him if we don't do something quickly."

Tarantulas starts laughing hysterically, the sound even more cracked and wheezy than usual until suddenly he begins to couch up more of his green blood. "Damn it...preferably it will not come to that. But I suspect surgical intervention is required."

He explains, in agonized fits and starts: "This body -- doesn't possess reproductive organs. I'm not -- hg! -- certain what's going on in there right now, but. I doubt it will bode well for the rest of me. Dr. Boyle, I -- I find myself in need of your expertise."

He winces, claws digging into Erik's arms and clothing. "Preferably soon?"

Oh jeez. Sally has never done surgery in her life. She's done plenty of injections, sure, and first aid, including stitches, but a surgeon she is not.

Still, someone has to help. And it's too late to call anyone else. "Um--- Okay. I----" She looks around. She's just moved into Arthur's farmhouse, so she doesn't even have a lot of her clinic stuff. "Bathtub. This way." She hurriedly leads Erik to the bathroom, getting into her medicine cabinet and rummaging. Her items are a little more advanced than what others might have, at least. She won't exactly have an epidural, but...

The laughter puts Erik on even higher alert. It's no laughing matter, any of this, so of course it's worrisome. And the more Tarantulas explains, the worse the picture becomes.

"Good idea." Erik carries his precious cargo immediately to the tub. No time for things like fetching pillows for comfort. They're only doomed to get messy anyway.

"Now seems like a good time to mention that my blood has healing properties. It can seal wounds upon immediate contact. But what it cannot do is replace blood loss."

"Ahhh -- unfortunate." Tarantulas manages to get his knees under him as Erik puts him down, reluctant both to let its cold sides touch his stomach or to put any more weight on his back. His hands and claws gingerly press at his sides and his distended gut; through labored breaths he mutters, "I fear several of my organs have been displaced. And there's --" He winces. "Internal bleeding. We haven't much time. No, never mind that," he says to Sally as she begins to uncap an analgesic. "There's no time."

A note of panic can be heard in his voice.

what arms have lain under my head til morning? [mixed]

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1/2 [River + Ryja thread starts here]

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Ten Thousand Years Later I Manage To Tag

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2/2 [Erik+Tarantulas thread starts here][cw: pregnancy-adjacent body horror]

[cw: pregnancy-adjacent body horror forever]

[CW: pregnancy-adjacent body horror will continue until morale improves]

[CW: pregnancy-adjacent body horror will continue until morale improves]

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MORE PREGNANCY CW

MORE PREGNANCY CW

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cw: self harm/blood/more pregnancy body horror

cw: gore, medical horror