ph_logs | I think you ought to walk with me and be safe [November Open]

I think you ought to walk with me and be safe [November Open]

Who: Chris Freeman & ... First Aid (

lovinglefthand) / Erik Osborne (

lordoftheozarks) / River la Croix (

somebodychildofanyone) / The Shade (

deaths_head) ... & YOU!
What: catch-all, wildcard, and promised threads
When: in-game November, post-Pumpkinfest
Where: All around town
Warning(s): discussions of trauma, past deaths (in-game and backstory) are likely; probably NSFW in the Erik thread, lbr... mind the comment headers if anything else comes up.

OPEN - Hey there Little Red Riding Hood, you sure are lookin' good...
Chris happens to find the idea of seniority based on who's been on Marrow Isle the longest to be an absurd way to organize things. Dr. Winterbottom, despite her retirement, is the final authority for medical matters because she's a local and has the most experience out of all of them. Chris isn't sure exactly how to organize everyone else, but they consider themself at the bottom of the rankings, having only book learning, some experience as a medical assistant, and employment history as a coroner.

So it's not unusual to see Chris taking on the 'drudge work' -- arranging appointments for people, making home visits for follow up purposes, arranging supply contacts for 'the real doctors' to get the things their clinics need. This frees up people like Sally Boyle, First Aid, Dr. Pierce, and Dr. Watson to do the things that only they -- trained and experienced pharmacologists, doctors, and surgeons -- can do.

It's very likely to see Chris somewhere around town on an errand of some sort, or even visiting the outskirts to keep tabs on people who live away from the town center.

CLOSED to First Aid - You spent your stipend on THAT?
"You got the general store to tell you what grocery package I bought for next month?" Chris asks. They fold their arms over their chest defensively. "I'm an adult, you know. I can spend my money as I please."

The confrontation with First Aid is most likely taking place at the Winterbottom Clinic after hours. Seems that First Aid is very serious about making sure that everyone is as healthy as possible. Including their co-worker Chris.

CLOSED to Lord Erik Osborne - I promised you a fashion show...
Chris finally accepted their fate as one of Dr. Agnes Winterbottom's sucessors, and took over running her clinic at the end of October. As of November first, they've been given a small house within walking distance of said clinic, and moved their few material possessions from a room at the Oak and Iron into the house.

Chris asked Sam to deliver a letter to Erik -- and the vampire lord will find that it's an invitation to visit Chris's new home.

Part of it reads: 'Any evening that you're free, just give me a day's notice so I won't be on call that night. I promised you a little fashion show, remember?'

(Which may be enticing on its own, but this also gives Erik a chance to satisfy his curiosity about Chris's powers. Answering questions in private is usually more comfortable.)

CLOSED to River - A miracle of food engineering... (and maybe other engineering too)
Despite slightly rocky interactions -- Chris cried during their first conversation, and River accidentally sliced her fingers during their second -- Chris is actually feeling pretty good about a friendship with the head blacksmith of Infernal Arms and Armor.

And because it worked so well last time (with Sam), Chris trades in one of their last food vouchers for some savory hand pies from the Oak and Iron's kitchens. Come lunch time, they are at River's forge with a basket of food to share.

Has River been introduced to the idea of hand pies yet?

Chris also has some ideas for a bed -- an old design in their own world, not available on Marrow Isle -- that could help with post-surgical recovery. Zie wants to talk about the idea with River, and see if fabricating the parts is doable... either with her team, or from John who does less weapon-related forging.

CLOSED to The Shade - Death dad and death son go a-hunting
Both Chris and the Shade have a connection to death, something that the Shade could easily see when they met at a shooting game during Pumpkinfest. That hadn't been the right venue to get more information on using that connection to death with a weapon, as the Shade offered to teach them about... but some time in November?

Chris heads over to the Shade's place one morning, at his invitation. They've got their most sturdy shoes and sensible clothes on (no skirts or slippers today), and just their first aid kit in their ever-present bag. Chris isn't quite sure what these lessons will entail, but they are determined to be a good student.

OPEN - Wildcard
Did I promise something with Chris and forget it? It happens, my brain is a garbage fire. Feel free to toss anything at us here.

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First Aid jerks his head up, plating rattling and flaring in its seams before he manages to get himself back under control. It's really not his business, he said he didn't care who Chris dated, but that asshole...

"Did he?" he finally says, voice tightly under control. "Was he respectful?"

Edited 2023-11-04 07:00 (UTC)

"For what I consider respectful, yes." Chris gives a little shrug. "He made some mild jokes, but it seemed like a defense mechanism to me. He got serious when asking about how many wounded we get day to day."

"And..." Chris glances away for a second. "I brought up my intersex condition, and he knows what it is, and he doesn't seem to mind it. It didn't stop him from asking me to get drinks and dance at the tavern. Which was nice."

"...Good," First Aid says, because it's true. Chris deserves to have fun with people who treat them well. "I suppose he really was joking when he said he wouldn't assist me with patients, then. That's a relief -- even if it was in very poor taste," he growls, reapplying himself to his mopping. Actually, no, he needs to switch spots now. Can't let himself get carried away and damage the tile.

"I'm afraid I don't care very much for his sense of humor."

"His sense of humor can be... sharp. But... he'll slice himself with it, too, sometimes. Dr. Pierce seems... equal opportunity in that way." Chris is using Hawkeye's title both because they want the slight professional distance while discussing him with First Aid, and because they want to remind First Aid that Hawkeye also has a title worthy of respect.

"I suppose... in the end, it doesn't matter if you get along with him, as long as we can all work together when the people here need us."

"I've known people like that before. Bad luck for everyone that he just happened to get under my metal to such an irritating degree. You don't need to worry, though. I won't let my personal feelings interfere with caring for our patients. They'll always be my first priority."

"And I am sure the patients are his first priority, too," Chris says firmly. "Don't go getting offended on my behalf, Aidie. I'm gonna tell you something that might sound mean at first.

"Dr. Pierce misunderstood, when I said that I was taking over for Dr. Winterbottom and then I mentioned I'd washed out when it came to general surgery. He said 'I hope we don't see much of each other' and if I can't cut it, it'd be better to stick to patients I won't make worse. And," Chris gives First Aid a stern look. "He wasn't saying that to insult me. Dr. Pierce was saying that because he's seen what happens when a bad surgeon is in an operating room. I explained that I wouldn't work in an operating room for any amount of money, and everything was fine after that."

"...He still shouldn't have said that," First Aid finally says, tone flat. "He didn't know anything about you or your practice. He shouldn't have jumped to conclusions for the sake of a stupid joke."

"Maybe not." Chris shrugs. "It's still true that I'd be a terrible surgeon. You can't freeze up in an operating room, and that's exactly the kind of thing I did."

That's Chris's read on the exchange anyway. That the joke was at the expense of their (lack of) surgical skills, and it was well deserved. They harbor a lot of guilt over not being able to complete their surgical training -- they had life plans, dammit, and the trauma they harbor over those non-consensual sex assignment surgeries in their past ruined all of that.

This is not the most healthy place to be, but that's where Chris is starting from.

"I don't mind jokes like that. I don't know if you've noticed, but humans in professions where we deal with death a lot? Some of us cope by developing a really dark, irreverent sense of humor. Laugh to keep from crying, that sort of thing." Chris sighs. "There's only so many bullets you can pull out of young folks before it all starts to seem... pointless."

First Aid sighs heavily and finally sets the mop aside.

"I do know that," he says quietly. "I've seen humans do it before...and Cybertronians too." He rubs his face. "And it hasn't escaped me that the jokes he made at my expense were ultimately very minor and petty, not even close the same level as yours. But...I can't deal with that right now, Chris. On top of everything else...it's too much. My emotional bandwidth's all been allocated, there's no more room. If he'd insisted on staying here any longer I'd have started giving serious consideration to picking him up and throwing him out."

"I'm glad you didn't. We'd probably never hear the end of it from him," Chris cracks a wry little smile...

and then closes the distance between them and rests a hand on First Aid's elbow.

"I understand. Halloween night was... really bad. And if you need me to run interference between you and Dr. Pierce for a while, I'm glad to do it." Because you're my friend, is left unsaid, but Chris thinks that First Aid knows them well enough to know that.

"...Thank you." First Aid reaches over to gently rest his hand on top of Chris's. "I appreciate that, I truly do."

He looks into Chris's eyes and asks something he should have asked hours ago, because they are friends and First Aid refuses to be some kind of sponge that always takes and never gives. "How you holding up?"

"I'm... maintaining." Chris replies. There's a sigh.

"I wasn't able to get away, after we split up outside the hall of mirrors. The demon transported me to an arena, like for gladiators? And I had to fight. To the death." Chris's gaze flickers down for a moment. "With Erik."

"Oh no!" Internally First Aid is kicking himself. All that time Chris spent comforting him, and they were carrying around something like this! "Are you --" He trails off.

Obviously Chris is not okay!

"What happened?" he asks anxiously. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Chris's voice is soft, and flatter than usual. "We were brought out to this arena, and this audience was watching us, screaming for us to fight. And when we picked out weapons, it was like... the sword I held had a will of its own. The sword wanted me be violent, draw blood... and I had to keep fighting against the compulsion. The same happened with Erik and the spear... it was trying to get him to... to give in to the urge to kill."

Chris moves closer, leaning in against First Aid. They can't... they just can't talk about it, so they hasten to finish the explanation.

"I had to kill him. He mutilated himself so that he'd be mortal, so I could kill him and he wouldn't go on a rampage."

"Oh no..."

First Aid puts his arms around Chris, rubbing their back gently. "Have you seen him yet? I died too not too long after we split up, so if I'm back he must be too by now..."

After a moment he adds, gently, "It wasn't your fault. I hope you know that."

"I can't yet... I keep seeing what he had to do to himself, and it was horrible." Chris isn't going to say what, because the less people who know about it can only be safer for Erik. "And I... I want to give him some time to... process. Even if part of me wants to seek him out, that's more about soothing my own guilt."

Chris sniffles.

"My head knows it wasn't my fault. My heart isn't convinced."

"I understand." God does he ever understand.

"I...killed someone too, that night," he says, vocalizer crackling slightly as he forces the words out. "I didn't mean to, I...I begged them to take me instead, but they put me in a situation where I had no choice but to participate in one of those awful games they'd set up. And the other person died."

Very carefully, mindful the whole time of his weight, he rests his chin on Chris's head, his body wrapped around theirs like a shield. "They're not holding a grudge about it, thank god. I don't think Erik will either. But I understand feeling completely terrible about it anyway."

Chris leans against First Aid, one hand coming up to rub comfortingly at his arm. "I understand the feeling. When he said I should kill him, I argued back that he was stronger so maybe he should kill me. It's not... I don't think it's in our natures to kill. And I felt so helpless that night, being forced to do it."

The embrace is comforting, and it helps... and First Aid's reassurance that Erik likely won't hold a grudge is good. Chris was hoping that, and it's good to hear that from someone else.

"I'm glad you're here, Aidie. I'm glad you get it."

Edited (word correction) 2023-11-06 23:11 (UTC)

First Aid can't quite hold back a flinch.

"I didn't always," he says quietly, holding himself ready to pull away if Chris wants to end the hug. "I thought about these things differently when I came on-line. But I get it now." He sighs quietly. "I promised myself a few years ago that I'd never again attack or hurt another sentient being, unless it was in the service of healing them. Should have known I wouldn't be able to keep that promise."

This wasn't something he'd been planning to tell Chris, and even as he says it he feels terrible. This is supposed to be about comforting them, not...bearing all his sins. But he doesn't want to lie to them anymore. Not about something so important.

"I said something wrong, and made you feel guilty again, didn't I?" Chris tugs First Aid more firmly into the hug. "I didn't say it to judge."

Chris feels sorry for First Aid, always taking on responsibility for things and being so harsh to himself. They aren't sure how to help with growing past that, or if they even can, but they are going to try their best to be a good friend to him regardless.

"The beauty of free will and sentience is that we can change ourselves. An animal's nature is just that, their nature, how they are. But you didn't like how you used to be, and you made a choice to be different. You're not going to be perfect at it and that's okay."

Edited (spelling) 2023-11-08 23:19 (UTC)

"Ah, sorry...sorry..." First Aid reapplies himself to the hug, ever so gently holding Chris against his chest. "In my defense, I'm not used to having to tell people these things. It's hard to know when it's appropriate..."

But Chris is right, and it's funny how his mind is already appending 'as usual' to that statement. "Transforming is supposed to be our speciality, but it's a lot harder to do it to the mind than to the body." He sighs quietly. "I just wish...I don't know. It feels like there's so much going on, between our patients and the town and the demons and the curse, I feel like I'm juggling plates or something whenever I try to process it all. And it feels awful when I drop something and it smashes."

"When you watch a juggling act, sometimes there's a second person there. To help when there's a lot of items in the air. So, to expand on your similie... you don't have to be like a solo act. You can share the load with me. You can share the load with your other friends, too." Chris pats at First Aid gently. "It's okay to ask for help."

"Of course, of course..." Like a human with a cat, First Aid starts absently petting Chris's back, soothing himself with the gesture. "I'm just. Not used to that." The having to actually ask part, though he's not sure how to word it without making Chris the one who feels bad. "I'll try to get better at it, I promise."

It takes Chris a moment to realize what First Aid is doing, with the petting, but it just amuses them when they put it together.

~~When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset...~~

"And I'll try to remember to ask you if you need help. Sound good?"

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I think you ought to walk with me and be safe [November Open]

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