something's gone, something's missing | closed

[thaumatophage]

Who: The Baker Ranch Gang
What: Papa Bear is gone
When: Shortly after the dreamscape event
Where: Baker Ranch
Warning(s):I'm gonna slap an "abandonment issues/daddy issues" right here on top because that's a given.

She can't find him. Gods, she can't find Mr. Rambo - John - and she's looked everywhere, even run up to the Temple in the cold to see if he'd be at Serranai's altar instead of how he preferred to worship her. And...he's not there. Nobody's seen him...and it's not like him to disappear like that, not for this long, not without even leaving a note.

And she knows he's gone.

She runs to ask Mr. Salazar for a temporary (temporary, it's gotta be temporary!) leave from the farm so she can tend to the ranch in Rambo's absence, and it's here she can be found, doing the best she can and busier than a one-armed paper hanger and twice as harried. If she's working...if she's working, she doesn't have to think about how much this hurts.

Comments

[hate_gettin_older]

Last time he thought he might run into trouble, John left a note. This time ... nothing.

Edgar wrangles together a few people to do a concerted search, including people that he knows know to look for the white wolf-shape too, just in case something's gone wrong with that and John can't get back out of it. He considers going up to the temple to try pleading with the goddesses; he doesn't, because the way he feels, it's going to turn into yelling at them and punching things, and that's not going to help.

(He does punch a hay bale in the barn a couple of times. It doesn't help either. The scrapes on his knuckles heal fast, though.)

He sits with Co and Bao when he can, holds them, gives them a few extra treats, tries to say comforting things. He isn't sure it's working.

He makes sure there's food on the table every breakfast and dinner time, because John isn't here to do it.

[maximumcake]

Max joins in the search, too. He even attempts to use his wolf nose to sniff out a trail. But he doesn't find anything. After hours of searching, he returns to Edgar and the homestead with his tail tucked between his legs.

He puts his head in Edgar's lap and whines, but telepathically he also adds, I'm sorry. I didn't find any trace of him.

[hate_gettin_older]

Edgar leans down to press his forehead to Max's fur, eyes squeezed shut.

"I don't know what to do, man. Got no fuckin clue."

[thaumatophage]

Kitty hopes she doesn't look as ragged as she feels, even though she knows she does. Putting work in at Mr. Salazar's while helping to keep the ranch in good order while Mr. Rambo's gone (while he's gone, he's coming back, damn it), she's going so hard that Co has to literally peck her into shape, and it's one evening where she's chased in by the queen of the ranch herself and finds...food on the table.

She stares at it, then looks at Edgar.

"...thanks," she says, because she's not sure what else she can say.

[maximumcake]

Max nuzzles against Edgar with another sad puppy whine.

If he... went home... then there's nothing any of them can do. Like when people would vanish on the ship. This pain is somehow just as horrible as it was bath then. It's just... things here were finally so good. It's not fair. Why does this happen? Why John?

Do you want me to go get my clothes in the house so I can hug you or... I could just lay on you like this. He makes a good weighted blanket in this form.

[hate_gettin_older]

Edgar's also hoping he doesn't look as bad as he feels: not so much ragged as worn thin, trying to hold together across the gaping absence in the house.

"Y' been working hard," he says. "Gotta eat something, come on."

What's on the table is bread, butter, cheese, a little bowl of pickles; there's also a pot staying hot on the stove, something between soup and stew, made with beans and a few different kinds of meat.

[hate_gettin_older]

There's a pause, and then Edgar's voice comes muffled through the fur. "Yeah."

[maximumcake]

That doesn't... never mind. He'll go with wolf weighted blanket then.

I've got you. Max uses his snout to gently push Edgar over a little so he can climb up into his lap like an oversized cat. I'll help you maintain things here if you need it, until he gets back.

[hate_gettin_older]

He goes over with the gentle shove, and keeps one arm free so he can wrap it around Max, leaning into his long fur.

"Yeah," he mumbles again. "Till he gets back."

A long pause.

"Is it bad to hope he does come back?"

[maximumcake]

No, Max answers before giving Edgar's hand a lick. He was really happy here, and it sounds like he wasn't very happy at home, so I think that's what he would want, too. He was starting to heal and feel like he belonged. Why would it be bad to wish for that for him again?

[hate_gettin_older]

"Just cause ... if he's here, means something bad happened to him back home. Doesn't it?"

He honestly isn't sure.

[maximumcake]

"Yes, but... bad things are still going to happen either way."

The way he looks at it, they're all here now because something bad happened to them, bad enough that they might be dead for good. That part isn't going to change.

"I don't think going back there can stop it. Not until we bring the barrier down. So... I don't know what it means but I don't think you're wrong for wanting him back. At least when he's here he has people who make him feel safe." They both know what a difference that can make.

[hate_gettin_older]

Edgar nods, and leans his head against Max's.

"Thanks." Still very low, but it's lost most of the leaden tone of earlier. "For coming by and that."

pretend i didn't foget he was a wolf again

[maximumcake]

Max is heartened to hear the shift in his tone. You don't have to thank me for that, but you're welcome. I'm here for you. And... I think I needed this. I really like John. I want him back, too.

we saw nothing

[hate_gettin_older]

He digs his fingers into the fur behind Max's ears, somewhere between a scratch and a caress.

"Gotta make sure he knows, yeah? When he gets back. That there's people here who want him."

[maximumcake]

Max makes a happy sound in his throat and presses into Edgar's fingers. "I'll tell him as soon as he's back. You're right, he deserves to know. You can tell him too, but I'm sure he already knows how much you love him."

[hate_gettin_older]

"Yeah. He's like ... he's family."

A painful little smile. "Still don't know how the fuck that happened so fast."

[maximumcake]

Max's tail thumps the ground where it wags, "It doesn't surprise me at all. Some people just click right away." The way they had all those years ago, even if Max can't remember it directly.

"You two have a lot in common, must be why I love you both so much. There's a lot to love. And he's gonna be back. He'd never abandon you for good. He'd find a way."

[hate_gettin_older]

He believes it, somehow, when Max says it.

"Damn right he will. He won't give up."

good wrap?

[maximumcake]

No, he won't. So neither will we.