abhorrently: (known.)
fever. ([personal profile] abhorrently) wrote in [community profile] ph_logs 2025-01-13 10:42 pm (UTC)

lessons.

This is not how she wanted this to go.

Learning new magic, feeling out the borders of what has occurred - why, it's fantastic, and she wants to throw herself into it with abandon. It's still so fragile, so newborn, and while certain muscles feel like they long since relaxed, others need to be stretched, and she feels like a plant that has needed to overwinter. Oh, spring, spring will be marvelous.

But trying to see where this path of change has been going, embracing and following it - well, if she'd known the results, would she have gone for it? Probably still. Yet, she would have preferred something...larger. More fearsome. Sleek and beautiful and deadly. Something more akin to a noble beast that can predate on what it pleases. Just because the root of violent compulsion has been removed doesn't change her likes and dislikes.

What exists instead is something small, with tiny claws, tiny teeth. Fur that seems constantly full of static, fluffy as her own hair. Large eyes, uncoordinated in working with four - five unfamiliar limbs, instead of the ones she's accustomed to. And truthfully, she has no idea when or how to turn back.

I thought I'd be bigger than this.

Send help.

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