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"May that be the only reason you see fit to weep in the new year."
She ends up touching their foreheads together, her eyes briefly closing.
"And may I do enough to live up to the name you've bestowed upon me."
She ends up touching their foreheads together, her eyes briefly closing.
"And may I do enough to live up to the name you've bestowed upon me."
Visible relief and happiness moves through her when she hears Phil speak, that he approves, and it means the world to her. As much as it does to know that her own father approves of Darcy, that the two of them know that their loved ones are on their side for this, that they go with their grace. And she knows it'll mean everything to Darcy as well. For all their intentions, if he wouldn't have been happy with it, it would have inevitably led to having to reconsider a few things. Pain that none of them need to feel.
"A while after the barrier is broken. When we've all settled, and things have proven to be stable. Then there will actually be time to plan and make all the necessary arrangements. Optimistically, that might be around two years from now."
Or longer, if need be. She's not in a hurry, after all. Like this, one might wonder why ask at all, but the promise matters. The certainty matters. The way it secures itself into the future matters.
"A while after the barrier is broken. When we've all settled, and things have proven to be stable. Then there will actually be time to plan and make all the necessary arrangements. Optimistically, that might be around two years from now."
Or longer, if need be. She's not in a hurry, after all. Like this, one might wonder why ask at all, but the promise matters. The certainty matters. The way it secures itself into the future matters.
The relief is visible for Darcy as well, even if they have a fair idea that Phil is fishing for them having put some thought into it. They add-
"I also wasn't expecting to get a yes like now, I thought I'd have like. Another year for a like, pre-engagement thing."
Which is to say, they thought they'd have time to talk to him about it.
"I also wasn't expecting to get a yes like now, I thought I'd have like. Another year for a like, pre-engagement thing."
Which is to say, they thought they'd have time to talk to him about it.
A call on the sending stone reaches Phil the day after Mourner's Night.
"Can I come and see you? Just for a little while."
It's possible to say it over the rock, Fever knows, but she needs to say it in person. Needs to look him in the eye and say it, so he knows that there isn't a single doubt. And it being an excuse to actually see him doesn't hurt at all.
"Can I come and see you? Just for a little while."
It's possible to say it over the rock, Fever knows, but she needs to say it in person. Needs to look him in the eye and say it, so he knows that there isn't a single doubt. And it being an excuse to actually see him doesn't hurt at all.
It takes a few days. There's the news to share, and Degas's birthday to put together, and naps to take as her body continues to adjust to the world in its new fashion. But she comes to Artemy's clinic soon enough, seeking him out.
In contrast to her demeanor before, full of nerves and strain, she's almost serene. Braced for how this conversation may go, what she is setting at risk by discussing it at all, but steady. He is owed this. And after what she's been through, speaking it aloud doesn't scare her as much anymore. Now it can be said. Now it should be said. Now it will be said.
"Artemy? Are you busy?"
(but there's been a shift in the Lines, hasn't there. something drawn as taut as a dog's leash while the beast strains, desperate for release, has been cut. changed. redrawn.)
In contrast to her demeanor before, full of nerves and strain, she's almost serene. Braced for how this conversation may go, what she is setting at risk by discussing it at all, but steady. He is owed this. And after what she's been through, speaking it aloud doesn't scare her as much anymore. Now it can be said. Now it should be said. Now it will be said.
"Artemy? Are you busy?"
(but there's been a shift in the Lines, hasn't there. something drawn as taut as a dog's leash while the beast strains, desperate for release, has been cut. changed. redrawn.)
"Not particularly."
He's sitting at his desk in the clinic, filling out some paperwork on one of the locals that's been seeing him. Boring clinical work, but he's happy to do it. He finishes the sentence he's on so he doesn't lose his place before setting the paper down and looking up from his work.
She looks. Different. There's a brilliance to her that he finds it hard to describe. Fever almost looks, free? Less encumbered. And her lines. Or the ones coming off of her. They look different. There is one in particular that always seemed heaviest to Artemy that is simply gone now.
It's none of his business, but somehow, he almost gets a sense that it's about to be his business.
"Can I help you?" He asks, trying to keep his voice light.
He's sitting at his desk in the clinic, filling out some paperwork on one of the locals that's been seeing him. Boring clinical work, but he's happy to do it. He finishes the sentence he's on so he doesn't lose his place before setting the paper down and looking up from his work.
She looks. Different. There's a brilliance to her that he finds it hard to describe. Fever almost looks, free? Less encumbered. And her lines. Or the ones coming off of her. They look different. There is one in particular that always seemed heaviest to Artemy that is simply gone now.
It's none of his business, but somehow, he almost gets a sense that it's about to be his business.
"Can I help you?" He asks, trying to keep his voice light.
"Not in a professional sense, no. I'm well."
Better than she's felt in a very long time. Sleep with no aids. Room inside her head, even if it's still prone to aching. But to explain all of that would be putting the cart far before the ox.
"I wanted to talk, though, about some things I couldn't earlier. Things that were out of place where we were, but that you should hear about all the same. If you're willing, that is."
Better than she's felt in a very long time. Sleep with no aids. Room inside her head, even if it's still prone to aching. But to explain all of that would be putting the cart far before the ox.
"I wanted to talk, though, about some things I couldn't earlier. Things that were out of place where we were, but that you should hear about all the same. If you're willing, that is."
This has the very opposite effect of making Phil think that Darcy thought about it, at least to the extent that he'd expect from them. Then again, love does all sorts of things to a person. Then again, he and Rita waited five years before even thinking about it. Then again, they were in their 40s at that point.
"But you still asked," he says with that sort of teasing grin in his voice, but there's this barest line of strain in it. Like the subtlest copper taste in water. "C'mon, you know by now that that opens you up to more than just what you think."
He fidgets with the spoon in his bowl. "After the barrier sounds good. That's a good plan." Two years. They'd be 20 then. Time given, things changing, a better headspace to really take this commitment in hand. Okay. 20's still... young, really young, but it's not 18, and Helena and Darcy have pretty good heads on their shoulders already. Yeah. It'll be fine.
Well, Phil. Clock's ticking.
"Yeah, uh, I admit I'm--a little blindsided, more than usual I mean, but I'm happy for you two. Seriously."
"But you still asked," he says with that sort of teasing grin in his voice, but there's this barest line of strain in it. Like the subtlest copper taste in water. "C'mon, you know by now that that opens you up to more than just what you think."
He fidgets with the spoon in his bowl. "After the barrier sounds good. That's a good plan." Two years. They'd be 20 then. Time given, things changing, a better headspace to really take this commitment in hand. Okay. 20's still... young, really young, but it's not 18, and Helena and Darcy have pretty good heads on their shoulders already. Yeah. It'll be fine.
Well, Phil. Clock's ticking.
"Yeah, uh, I admit I'm--a little blindsided, more than usual I mean, but I'm happy for you two. Seriously."
"Of course."
He sounds subdued--mostly the weather, as he's explained. Makes him melancholy. The winter was exciting for a while, but now that the novelty's worn off, his head's taken the opportunity to settle back into its old rhythms.
"Where should I meet you?"
He sounds subdued--mostly the weather, as he's explained. Makes him melancholy. The winter was exciting for a while, but now that the novelty's worn off, his head's taken the opportunity to settle back into its old rhythms.
"Where should I meet you?"
"Just tell me where you are, and I'll come to you. Anywhere on the island, even if you're on the peak of Crane's Ridge."
The lightness in her heart asks her to move, to walk around and see the world with fresh eyes, and she gives it its space to be. There will be time to luxuriate in sleep later, all the time in the world. And given how Phil's feeling, bringing him good news for the future certainly does no harm.
The lightness in her heart asks her to move, to walk around and see the world with fresh eyes, and she gives it its space to be. There will be time to luxuriate in sleep later, all the time in the world. And given how Phil's feeling, bringing him good news for the future certainly does no harm.
She must have something up her sleeve, the way she's talking.
"I'm home right now." As he usually is these days. "It's cold outside. I'll let you in."
"I'm home right now." As he usually is these days. "It's cold outside. I'll let you in."
Two years is if everything goes perfectly and somehow they're free within the next several months. More likely than not, it'll be longer. And even past that point, Helena can't imagine that they'd want to be more than a few steps away. They didn't fight to hold onto one another to separate at the earliest opportunity.
"Thank you. That means more than I can really put into sufficient words." A pause. "And I said much the same thing when they asked me and were surprised at the answer. It might seem like a bit much to have done when we plan to wait for some time, and I know it wouldn't have changed feelings, to say no, but...I love Darcy, with all of my heart."
The expression on her face has grown soft, contemplative, and deeply, genuinely affectionate.
"I love them enough to want to tell the entire world about it, to write and write until I somehow manage to find the right words to encapsulate my feelings, to use every power a poet possesses to voice it and give it shape. Yet at the same time, I know that this promise suffices to speak more than a whole host of epics possibly could."
"Thank you. That means more than I can really put into sufficient words." A pause. "And I said much the same thing when they asked me and were surprised at the answer. It might seem like a bit much to have done when we plan to wait for some time, and I know it wouldn't have changed feelings, to say no, but...I love Darcy, with all of my heart."
The expression on her face has grown soft, contemplative, and deeply, genuinely affectionate.
"I love them enough to want to tell the entire world about it, to write and write until I somehow manage to find the right words to encapsulate my feelings, to use every power a poet possesses to voice it and give it shape. Yet at the same time, I know that this promise suffices to speak more than a whole host of epics possibly could."
"Be there soon."
True to her word, it won't take terribly long. The walk is exactly what she needed, and though there is chill, enough to nip at the tips of her ears, she can't be upset about it or that she forgot a hat. It's too easy to get caught up in the way sunlight looks on snow, the crunch of it beneath her boots, the easy beat of her heart. Alive, alive, alive. So much to do, and so much to soak in. By the time she gets to the house, she's mulling over what she's going to have to do in the next few days. Some people need to be seen sooner rather than later, after all, and there are promises to keep. And all of them will be handled, she's sure of it.
It's because she's fairly certain his kid is still in the middle of recovering from surgery that she doesn't give into the urge to shout from outside, and remembers manners to knock on the door. The news can wait until she's defrosted, at least.
True to her word, it won't take terribly long. The walk is exactly what she needed, and though there is chill, enough to nip at the tips of her ears, she can't be upset about it or that she forgot a hat. It's too easy to get caught up in the way sunlight looks on snow, the crunch of it beneath her boots, the easy beat of her heart. Alive, alive, alive. So much to do, and so much to soak in. By the time she gets to the house, she's mulling over what she's going to have to do in the next few days. Some people need to be seen sooner rather than later, after all, and there are promises to keep. And all of them will be handled, she's sure of it.
It's because she's fairly certain his kid is still in the middle of recovering from surgery that she doesn't give into the urge to shout from outside, and remembers manners to knock on the door. The news can wait until she's defrosted, at least.
Darcy does notice that strain, shooting Phil a meaningful look of apology. This isn't how they wanted it to go, even if they know it's the right decision. The Scream is peaceful in their bloodstream, content at the direction they're pointed, they have to trust that.
But they did think they would have more time. Just a bit, to get their feet under them.
Then Helena starts and very quickly there is a small quiet noise of impact of their forehead to the table as Darcy experiences a terminal error and has to shut down, both hands on the back of their head.
"J'taime aussi," they manage, really wishing they weren't having to do pda in front of their mum but refusing to let it go unanswered.
But they did think they would have more time. Just a bit, to get their feet under them.
Then Helena starts and very quickly there is a small quiet noise of impact of their forehead to the table as Darcy experiences a terminal error and has to shut down, both hands on the back of their head.
"J'taime aussi," they manage, really wishing they weren't having to do pda in front of their mum but refusing to let it go unanswered.
"You don't have to do a single thing to 'live up' to it, don't you know that? You have that name because you're my family. That's all the reason I need to call you a Clayton." He pokes the tip of her nose, making his point firmly.
It's a good call to have magic lessons out at the ranch, with the amount of things to practice with in terms of making a mage hand do what you want to do. Hers is precise because she knows it well, and she has every confidence Radar can figure it out. And she's eager to get started with things, because why not? He's spent his entire life without magic in his hands, why make him wait any longer?
She's approached this place before with trepidation, with wariness, with stubborn determination, but today she feels merely content, wearing the hat Radar had given her a few weeks ago to ward off the chill. Fever hurries over when she catches sight of that familiar figure, curious as to what he's doing first and foremost before they immediately dive into learning.
"Hi, Radar. What are you doing?"
She's been in a better mood ever since Mourner's Night, and today is absolutely no exception.
She's approached this place before with trepidation, with wariness, with stubborn determination, but today she feels merely content, wearing the hat Radar had given her a few weeks ago to ward off the chill. Fever hurries over when she catches sight of that familiar figure, curious as to what he's doing first and foremost before they immediately dive into learning.
"Hi, Radar. What are you doing?"
She's been in a better mood ever since Mourner's Night, and today is absolutely no exception.
Her eyes open again, and a feeling swells in her chest - one still new and raw, finding its strength, but present and accessible all the same.
"Don't make me start to shed tears, now. Else it'll feel too much like you're giving me a present on your birthday."
"Don't make me start to shed tears, now. Else it'll feel too much like you're giving me a present on your birthday."
"Fever, I don't think I've ever been able to make you do anything. I just want you to know. To know that you belong."
He takes a small step back, looking at her like a proud father.
He takes a small step back, looking at her like a proud father.
Helena's explanation is, again, soothing, as slowly she lays down the pieces that offer a bigger window into the decision than a hole in the wall. The more she says, the less he's got to say. A long engagement, a promise that is real that'll carry them out until the island is safe. Okay.
Part of him wants to start wheedling them about wedding plans but not only will that make Darcy explode into small confetti, it's pretty clear that that's not something they're thinking of right now, and there's a superstitious part of him that feels like his silence will buy them all time. Like if he doesn't speak it into existence, things will move along at the pace they're supposed to, the way they want it to. No detours into the fast lane.
"Ta fiancée est jolie avec toi," as he reaches over to ruffle Darcy's hair a little. To Helena, "Yeah, I can understand that. I get it. I think it's sweet. It's a good thing to hold onto." ... "Uh--just let us know when you start househunting, ehn?"
He chuckles.
Part of him wants to start wheedling them about wedding plans but not only will that make Darcy explode into small confetti, it's pretty clear that that's not something they're thinking of right now, and there's a superstitious part of him that feels like his silence will buy them all time. Like if he doesn't speak it into existence, things will move along at the pace they're supposed to, the way they want it to. No detours into the fast lane.
"Ta fiancée est jolie avec toi," as he reaches over to ruffle Darcy's hair a little. To Helena, "Yeah, I can understand that. I get it. I think it's sweet. It's a good thing to hold onto." ... "Uh--just let us know when you start househunting, ehn?"
He chuckles.
"Oh goodness, that won't be for quite a while yet. I haven't given it any thought."
And she's quite certain that even when it begins, neither of them will want to veer too far away from their loved ones, all told. It will be much less of an upheaval than it could be.
At least Darcy will have a chance to recover, because now that the conversation is going well, Helena can go back to the stew and take a bite before she continues to pour out her heart in front of their mom.
And she's quite certain that even when it begins, neither of them will want to veer too far away from their loved ones, all told. It will be much less of an upheaval than it could be.
At least Darcy will have a chance to recover, because now that the conversation is going well, Helena can go back to the stew and take a bite before she continues to pour out her heart in front of their mom.
Darcy accepts the hair ruffling placidly, with only a mild noise of discontent at their mum being embarrassing. Phil probably deserves to catch up on a few years worth of mild embarrassing anyway, the last time she really got to was. Prom? Prom. Something like that.
The comment makes them raise their head, and for a moment they glance back to Helena. It almost looks like they'll have to have a Real Talk but. No, Helena as always is in the same mind as Darcy, and they look back to Phil to affirm-
"Definitely not yet. Definitely not until the barrier goes down at least. And I wouldn't go far."
They know how much Phil needs them now, better than they did. It's not happening.
"I can't imagine home without you, anyway."
The comment makes them raise their head, and for a moment they glance back to Helena. It almost looks like they'll have to have a Real Talk but. No, Helena as always is in the same mind as Darcy, and they look back to Phil to affirm-
"Definitely not yet. Definitely not until the barrier goes down at least. And I wouldn't go far."
They know how much Phil needs them now, better than they did. It's not happening.
"I can't imagine home without you, anyway."
This is not how she wanted this to go.
Learning new magic, feeling out the borders of what has occurred - why, it's fantastic, and she wants to throw herself into it with abandon. It's still so fragile, so newborn, and while certain muscles feel like they long since relaxed, others need to be stretched, and she feels like a plant that has needed to overwinter. Oh, spring, spring will be marvelous.
But trying to see where this path of change has been going, embracing and following it - well, if she'd known the results, would she have gone for it? Probably still. Yet, she would have preferred something...larger. More fearsome. Sleek and beautiful and deadly. Something more akin to a noble beast that can predate on what it pleases. Just because the root of violent compulsion has been removed doesn't change her likes and dislikes.
What exists instead is something small, with tiny claws, tiny teeth. Fur that seems constantly full of static, fluffy as her own hair. Large eyes, uncoordinated in working with four - five unfamiliar limbs, instead of the ones she's accustomed to. And truthfully, she has no idea when or how to turn back.
I thought I'd be bigger than this.
Send help.
Learning new magic, feeling out the borders of what has occurred - why, it's fantastic, and she wants to throw herself into it with abandon. It's still so fragile, so newborn, and while certain muscles feel like they long since relaxed, others need to be stretched, and she feels like a plant that has needed to overwinter. Oh, spring, spring will be marvelous.
But trying to see where this path of change has been going, embracing and following it - well, if she'd known the results, would she have gone for it? Probably still. Yet, she would have preferred something...larger. More fearsome. Sleek and beautiful and deadly. Something more akin to a noble beast that can predate on what it pleases. Just because the root of violent compulsion has been removed doesn't change her likes and dislikes.
What exists instead is something small, with tiny claws, tiny teeth. Fur that seems constantly full of static, fluffy as her own hair. Large eyes, uncoordinated in working with four - five unfamiliar limbs, instead of the ones she's accustomed to. And truthfully, she has no idea when or how to turn back.
I thought I'd be bigger than this.
Send help.
“Ah! I was wondering when you’d take a form like this!” He appears as if bidden: the long-haired, silver-furred, vest-clad Skooma Cat, paws folded as he lounges in the grass, taking in the sight of his little thundercloud of a daughter.
"It wasn't intentional," she replies, trying to walk over to him and finding her coordination scattered. Everything is bigger, full of more smells and sounds, and she has to move her arms - legs? - in addition to whatever's in back. A clumsy, awkward gait that she's embarrassed over. Aren't cats supposed to be graceful creatures?
"Was trying to explore some new connections, and then...all this."
"Was trying to explore some new connections, and then...all this."
“The sky-kissed kitten,” he responds, somewhat dramatically.
“At least, that’s what I think the Khajiit would call you. Here,” he scoops her up by the scruff.
“‘Ow ‘he ‘ing a’ou’ ‘is is- ‘ait… ah, ‘y ‘ola’s ‘alls…”
He sets her back down.
“The thing about all this is, it’s very hard to sprout thumbs in this form, no matter how much you want that goblet of cream. We’re going to have to train you in how to be a proper cat!”
“At least, that’s what I think the Khajiit would call you. Here,” he scoops her up by the scruff.
“‘Ow ‘he ‘ing a’ou’ ‘is is- ‘ait… ah, ‘y ‘ola’s ‘alls…”
He sets her back down.
“The thing about all this is, it’s very hard to sprout thumbs in this form, no matter how much you want that goblet of cream. We’re going to have to train you in how to be a proper cat!”
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