(Darcy guides her head to somewhere not quite so painful to lean against, their chest is still healing after all.)
But it's... well, what isn't it? Darcy had envisioned a future of knocking at the door forever, and like a magic trick, there it is. The future. You can say that you can't imagine living past sixteen, or eighteen, or twenty one, but living that absence of tomorrow is something else. Every day is like driving a stolen car, every morning you wake up is a surprise, no end goal in sight, just the road ahead. And now...
Two things become very clear. The first is that Darcy is going to have to try to stay alive. Properly, this time. Not letting their Geist catch them, not banking on coming back from the dead wherever they end up next, not letting that idea of eternal rest just around the corner stew on the backburner, actually properly staying alive. As long as they can.
The second is that if they do this, they will get to make Helena happy for the rest of their lives. There may come a day where Helena has smile lines etched into her face from laughing at Darcy's jokes or being charmed by their thoughtfulness. They can make her a home with the accommodations she needs, and handle all of the rest for her. In the morning and in the evening they can lie there by her side in a place they've earned and keep earning. Darcy can be loved every single day they are alive.
...
Quietly, to not break the moment-
"Forgive me, I don't have a ring, I... didn't think you'd say yes."
cw suicidal ideation mention
But it's... well, what isn't it? Darcy had envisioned a future of knocking at the door forever, and like a magic trick, there it is. The future. You can say that you can't imagine living past sixteen, or eighteen, or twenty one, but living that absence of tomorrow is something else. Every day is like driving a stolen car, every morning you wake up is a surprise, no end goal in sight, just the road ahead. And now...
Two things become very clear. The first is that Darcy is going to have to try to stay alive. Properly, this time. Not letting their Geist catch them, not banking on coming back from the dead wherever they end up next, not letting that idea of eternal rest just around the corner stew on the backburner, actually properly staying alive. As long as they can.
The second is that if they do this, they will get to make Helena happy for the rest of their lives. There may come a day where Helena has smile lines etched into her face from laughing at Darcy's jokes or being charmed by their thoughtfulness. They can make her a home with the accommodations she needs, and handle all of the rest for her. In the morning and in the evening they can lie there by her side in a place they've earned and keep earning. Darcy can be loved every single day they are alive.
...
Quietly, to not break the moment-
"Forgive me, I don't have a ring, I... didn't think you'd say yes."