"It makes it difficult to divide who I want to be from who I don't. I was an offering, a sacramental feast. I do not wish to be that again. Yet... I still want to offer of myself, with the same fullness of my heart, but that idea has been soured for me. I was lauded as sacred flesh, and my flesh was praised for being a testament of our god's might. I want to feel comfortable in my flesh, and I want to be comfortable in being physically adored, but every time I try to relax and be physical with my partner, I start to panic and feel like I'm doing something wrong. I feel like I am tangled up in what I know what I know is right for me and what I know is wrong for me, and I cannot find where one ends and the other begins."