Radar nods seriously. "Yeah, okay. Sometimes my old CO got like that too. So do the doctors a lot. And they don't always listen when you try and tell 'em straight out to take care of themselves, so I have to trick 'em a little bit. Nothing bad!" he's quick to say. "Just so they get better without really thinking about it too hard."

All right. Moment of truth. Radar puts down his cards. His nose almost starts to wrinkle before he catches something right at the edge of hearing -- and just like that, he's looking way too smug about such a lousy hand. "Pair of nines."