Alice actually sputters in blatantly played up offence. "Pffbt what? Me, still be into that scrawny hopeless dweeb? Don't be— don't be ridiculous! My tastes have matured since uni, thank you, I am— why does everyone keep acting like I'm tryna jump his bones again? First Colin, then Teddy, now you lot— I'm a grown woman now! I pay taxes, I've got tits! It'd be pathetic if I was still pining for my ex from a decade ago! Don't be—"

—yeah this is really not helping her case is it.