She hadn't wanted to be cruel, even to those that had openly criticized her. Even when Tayrey's actions threatened everything she was trying to protect. It didn't make sense to her to go after each other when they all wanted the same thing, all had the same right to defend their freedom. She couldn't ever hold that against Tayrey, never believed she deserved to be mauled for her actions. But it did go so horribly wrong after she left.

It's not so easy to forgive herself. She had volunteered for so much of it, had been so determined to solve the suffering with the empathy and kindness that had been long denied her. Even as Tayrey had tried to break through to her, that she had deserved better than to waste away as fuel for an unending nightmare. Words she had Peter repeat, trying to reinforce.

She shakes her head, unsteady. "Of course I want good things..." but without the people she loves with her, it's hard to see a way forward. Her self worth has been beaten so far down by her inability to fix anything, she feels the bottom threatening to give way and sink her deep back into the grave of depression. Still, she mentally claws and grasps at anything around her to keep her head above.

"You're not... not trying to escape here too?" Ava had hoped. If anyone could find a way out, it would be the Lieutenant. "I need to find him..." she had promised.