ph_logs | what arms have lain under my head til morning? [mixed]

Erik's sadness cuts more deeply than his anger, making Tarantulas's own frustration a slippery, tenuous thing, the energy suddenly difficult to sustain. "-- I care for you too," he says into the awkward silence that follows. "But Annabel -- who is she to me? I never knew her before this, I have no ties to her. Why should I --" He stumbles over the word, seeing the mistake but unable to avert it, "-- bother with her?"

He just wanted to be close to River. Why did she have to drag other people into it? But clearly that isn't the answer Erik is looking for. He presses his lips together, staring at the floor. "It's not fair," he says bitterly. "She put up with so much nonsense from that other version of me. Why am I cut off after a single mistake?"

"Well yeah, of course. But that's the thing sbout demons, they take advantage of people. They offer you your deepest desires so that you'll hurt someone or yourself, all for their own gain. I can't imagine something this big was free."

"It wasn't," Tarantulas agrees. He reaches under one of his pillows, withdrawing his hand with the fingers tightly closed around some small object that remains concealed -- for now.

"If the price had been one only I was required to pay, I would have paid it gladly," he murmurs, no longer meeting Mairi's eyes. "But the king's domain is betrayal. To ensure the safe birth of my child I had to...provide him with 'energy of his realm,' as he put it. I had to betray the people closest to me."

He's not even looking in Mairi's general direction now. "You should...have this back now," he finally says, awkwardly, and opens his hand to her. Of course it's her own missing ring lying there in his palm. Of course it is.

Instinct nearly has her duck away. Nearly. But it's Tarantulas, and she trusts him. So when his spider leg arches over her head she suppresses the Viera trained response, which would be to grab and halt his movement, possibly cause harm in the process, duck away, stay on the offensive, do not trust.

It's that which she thinks of at first. How for once that instinct which got her into so much trouble in Eorzea would have actually helped. Would have kept him from doing this. She can hear the disappointed voices of her teachers. And then she hears the click, and she can't go back inside, can't go hide in her den, and she doesn't understand.

Ryja's frozen, stunned, staring out at the world with her ears pulled all the way back. If there was an active threat, she could fight. If it wasn't Tarantulas, maybe she'd turn around and start hammering on the door until it shattered. But she can't, because the first and loudest thought in her head is just the word *"Why?!" over and over again.

And when she does finally bring herself to move, it's to dart forward, blindly. Viera are not prey, not truly... And yet she feels like it, right now, pausing after a short burst of movement, eyes wide, looking back and forth.

Mairi almost struggles to believe what she's seeing. For a moment, she just stares at it, processing. Then she gingerly picks it up, and taps it on the dresser beside her.

A chorus of robins begins to sing, familiar and unbelievable.

She looks to Tarantulas, her voice calm and level, but fury written on her brow. "Are you fucking serious?"

Tarantulas flinches back against the headboard, his spider's legs folding around him to form a protective cage around the baby.

"I only have so many friends," he says tightly. "And I was on a time limit, I -- I couldn't let this chance pass me by."

He eyes Mairi warily. "I took the ring because I knew its loss would hurt you. This much was necessary to see my child born but I swear, no demon had any contact with it. I put it away somewhere safe the same night I took it from your house."

More than the fact that he stole the ring, Mairi can't tell which was more painful--- the fact that he evidently chose her not because she was significant to him but because he didn't have any more important friends left to fuck over, or the fact that he's acting like she would hurt the baby over this, of all things. An ache knots in her chest.

With a snap of her fingers, she casts Shape Water, forming an orb of water over Tarantulas' head and dropping it on him. The little one might get fussy from being spritzed, but Mairi would never hurt her. She didn't ask to be made.

"You know what, Tarantulas? You keep this one, and I'll hang onto the one I had made for you, how's that sound?" She pulls out the one she'd brought for Tarantulas as she speaks, a slightly different design that featured a spider lily on top, and puts it on. When her short rant concludes, she tosses her original ring onto the floor and turns on her heel to leave.

Only the song of robins remains in her wake.

Tarantulas coughs and sputters, wincing as surprised jolt makes his surgical site sting. Worse yet, the baby wakes up and starts fussing. He rubs the water out of his eyes, attention neatly torn in half between Mairi's retreating back and his own child and therefore unable to properly focus on either. "Mairi, wait --" he starts to call, but it's already too late.

She's gone.

What's he going to do with her ring now?

"I care for Annabel. She is a friend to me. She could have been a friend to you as well. River would have been your tie to her, one you should have embraced. That you couldn't be bothered told River all she needed to know. This River. This is the one you should be honoring. That you hold her against the woman of your shared dreams and find her lacking is further proof that this would never have worked. It is no single mistake that caused this, Tarantulas, it is your fundamental lack of respect for her as anything besides an object of your desire."

And now Erik finds himself at a crossroads of his own. It's horrifying to discover how deep this goes, how much further down in his estimations Tarantulas has fallen just over the course of this conversation. The temptation to walk away and wash his hands of this is strong. But he can remember being in a similar state. He remembers his mentor in London reaching out a hand to him, to teach. To help him grow. He was told that one day he would find someone who needed that hand, and on that day he would know what to do. Magnus, you were right.

"Tarantulas, I care for you too. I don't condone your actions, but I am not going to forsake you now when you most need a friend. But that is as far as we can be for the time being. Friends and confidants. And under one condition only. You must not ask me to be a go-between for you and River. I won't tell you of her and I won't pass messages to her. I am here independent of her."

Tarantulas chews on his lip in irritation. "Then you can't report on me to her either," he snaps. "If she doesn't want anything to do with me, then it's only fair I shouldn't have anything to do with her."

He glares at Erik with hurt, red-rimmed eyes. "This won't last," he says bitterly. "It's only a matter of time before you decide to wash your hands of me too. And I'm not going to tie myself in knots to keep you, I'm busy." Erik, a confidant? Hah. If he had even the least notion what Tarantulas was doing, he'd try to stop him. But in this, at least, Tarantulas is still one step ahead. Nobody is going to stop him from getting what he wants, not this time.

Perhaps Erik also deserves a place on the list, if only Tarantulas can think of a sufficiently tender spot to land the blow...

"I had not intended to report on you to her. That is only fair, of course." Better, really, to not put himself in the middle of this any more than he already has.

Erik looks into Tarantulas's eyes with pity. "That is for me to decide, if or until you tell me you want no more of me. Since you are busy, I will take my leave now. But I hope you will think on what I've said. I have only told you the truth, Tarantulas, as I see it. Do with it now what you will."

"I intend to," Tarantulas grumbles, and waves dismissively towards the door. "Go on, then. I'll see you later, I expect."

He'll have to keep an eye on Erik, after all, if he wishes to level the playing field.

César's working on his farm, like he's done (nearly!) every day, most of the day, since planting season has started. He has two part-timers with him, a set of siblings. Crops are in the ground, he has three happy and fat cows, and even a horse. The greenhouse is full of seedlings and even a handful of older plants, helped along by his druidic magic. His chickens aren't present here, back at home with Dabi.

The help from the newcomers had completely destroyed the large amount of work César was going to be crushed under. Between them and reworking his schedule, César's... doing okay. He's actually got some time to relax, even during his time on the farm.

Good thing, huh?

César's walking cheerfully towards his greenhouse attached to the farmhouse.

Sally opens up to see what all the hubbub is about, looking surprised. "Erik? Tarantulas? What's going o--- Oh good Lord." She immediately staggers back at the--- oh goodness, the wriggling inside of Tarantulas' gut. She doesn't even recognize this for what it is at first; sure, it's pretty common for pregnant folks to feel some kicking, but this is far from normal.

"What's going on?" She stands aside anyway. She knows she can call someone if she needs help but leaving them outside while she demands an explanation won't do any good. They can walk and talk.

"I'll remind you of these words when this is done," Erik says through gritted teeth. How many people did Tarantulas hurt to achieve this? How many? He needs to check on River.

Erik cannot blame Sally for her reaction. It's about on par with his own. But he wastes no time walking through the door with Tarantulas still hunched in his arms. "I don't know how, but he is in labor. He asked me to bring him here to you. Please tell me you know what to do? The state of things as they are, I worry his spawn may rips its way out of him if we don't do something quickly."

Tarantulas starts laughing hysterically, the sound even more cracked and wheezy than usual until suddenly he begins to couch up more of his green blood. "Damn it...preferably it will not come to that. But I suspect surgical intervention is required."

He explains, in agonized fits and starts: "This body -- doesn't possess reproductive organs. I'm not -- hg! -- certain what's going on in there right now, but. I doubt it will bode well for the rest of me. Dr. Boyle, I -- I find myself in need of your expertise."

He winces, claws digging into Erik's arms and clothing. "Preferably soon?"

Tarantulas is...not in the best of shape, when he finally makes it to César's front gate. He'd felt that his welcome at Arthur Morgan's farm was about to run out, but when he returned to his own home he was shocked to discover that he -- well. Put simply, he no longer felt safe there. And more importantly he wasn't sure if Dawn would be safe there. What if River came looking for him? Or if Ryja was still angry? No, he'd have to face them both eventually, but it would be on his terms. Not taken unawares.

How fortunate that he still had a few remaining allies...and if he remembered correctly, César also had a younger brother, of a much younger age than him...perhaps he would have some advice applicable to Tarantulas's present situation...

Or maybe he'll just yell at Tarantulas for being a stupid ding-dong and moving around too much when he's still recovering from a major surgery, the dumbass. The trolley has a stop near César's farm, but that's a double-edged sword: the bouncing around hurt's Tarantulas's healing incision, and then too he's carrying his baby with him as he walks. By the time he actually reaches the gate, he stop and lean on it for a moment, wheezing loudly. Not, perhaps, his most shining moment -- unless you count his perspiration, maybe.

Primus, but he liked it too...there are a few factors to consider, but...He slides a hand up the back of Ryja's neck, gently cradling her head. "Try not to draw blood, dearest," he whispers softly. "It's...it's not safe for you. But if, if you want to bite me..."

He lets his head fall back, exposing the length of his throat. "I want it too," he whispers hoarsely.

"César?" The sister calls to her boss, and César stops, looking over towards her.

Except he never looks all the way around, his eyes stopping on Tarantulas. The man is carrying a bundle (baby?) and looking in terrible shape.

César throws his gloves down next to the greenhouse door and with a "take care of things, please" to the siblings, he hurries right over to their visitor. "Tarantulas! Good god, come inside the house before you pass out...."

He's hovering close, and then he looks down and sees in shock that there's indeed a baby. Only for a moment, though. Letting Tarantulas pass out with a baby is not an option, and César moves in close enough for Tarantulas use him for balance.

Oh jeez. Sally has never done surgery in her life. She's done plenty of injections, sure, and first aid, including stitches, but a surgeon she is not.

Still, someone has to help. And it's too late to call anyone else. "Um--- Okay. I----" She looks around. She's just moved into Arthur's farmhouse, so she doesn't even have a lot of her clinic stuff. "Bathtub. This way." She hurriedly leads Erik to the bathroom, getting into her medicine cabinet and rummaging. Her items are a little more advanced than what others might have, at least. She won't exactly have an epidural, but...

The laughter puts Erik on even higher alert. It's no laughing matter, any of this, so of course it's worrisome. And the more Tarantulas explains, the worse the picture becomes.

"Good idea." Erik carries his precious cargo immediately to the tub. No time for things like fetching pillows for comfort. They're only doomed to get messy anyway.

"Now seems like a good time to mention that my blood has healing properties. It can seal wounds upon immediate contact. But what it cannot do is replace blood loss."

"Ahhh -- unfortunate." Tarantulas manages to get his knees under him as Erik puts him down, reluctant both to let its cold sides touch his stomach or to put any more weight on his back. His hands and claws gingerly press at his sides and his distended gut; through labored breaths he mutters, "I fear several of my organs have been displaced. And there's --" He winces. "Internal bleeding. We haven't much time. No, never mind that," he says to Sally as she begins to uncap an analgesic. "There's no time."

A note of panic can be heard in his voice.

"Shush. I'm the doctor, you came to my house, you listen to me now," Sally barks with a confidence that she doesn't really feel. The only way for this situation to be under control is for someone to take control.

Sally shoves some pills and a cup of water at Tarantulas. "You. Take that."

Then, she turns to Erik. "I don't have a scalpel. But I do have a work knife. I'm going to sterilize it and make the best incisions I can. What I need you to do, is make sure you have some of your blood ready to seal up wounds as quickly as possible after they're made. Can you do that? Once I have the baby, you're up."

River's arrival is preceded by the sounds of bony claws and her boots against the cobbles. She is not being quiet, and not being discreet; indeed, she calls out Tarantulas's name with a deep fury as she approaches, with promises of a quick death if he stops running right now. Her skeletal wolf bounds into view first, jaws clacking and clattering as it tries - and fails - to bay and howl, but River isn't far behind. Sword in hand, face a mask of hate -

She drops the sword when she spots Ryja; River whistles for the wolf to sit while she bounds over to the rabbit, putting herself between Ryja and onlookers. "Hold on," she murmurs, voice all concern, her rage - not forgotten, but definitely pushed back on the list of things to handle.

River unclasps her cloak and sweeps it from her shoulders to offer it to Ryja. It won't fit, the hood is no mask...but surely it's better than nothing?

That authority in her voice is a blessing as far as Erik is concerned. He's no expert in child birth and someone here has to be in charge. It's not going to be Tarantulas.

"If you can give me a sterile receptacle to hold it and a syringe and I will be at your service." That method worked well when Chris used it on River.

what arms have lain under my head til morning? [mixed]

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heading to a wrap

wrap! thanks for playing <333

Farm Visit

MORE PREGNANCY CW

MORE PREGNANCY CW

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Ten Thousand Years Later I Manage To Tag

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